“Will you stay late to get that project done?”

How often have you said “Yes” to this kind of request even though you were looking forward to a special night with your partner/kids/dog/yourself?

“We really need another volunteer for this. Can we expect you there?”

How often have you said “Yes” to this kind of request even though your schedule is already maxed out with other obligations and responsibilities?

“Honey, can you drop this off at the dry cleaners today?”

“Mom, can you help me with my science project? It’s due tomorrow.”

“Darling, it will just take a moment, will you take care of that for me?”

How often have you said, “Yes, yes, yes,” when what you really wanted to say was, “NO! NO! NO!”?

If you’re like most women, you’ve said YES when you really meant NO too many times to count. Possibly a jazillion times. I know. I get it. This is truly an epidemic.

Why is it so hard to say NO to others?

Women have been socialized to be sweet, pleasant and accommodating. We are taught that saying NO is rude, impolite and unacceptable. We’ve been raised to say YES so that we avoid conflict, please others and don’t rock the boat.

But here’s a hard truth to swallow:

Every time we say YES to others when what we really want to say is NO, we are saying NO to ourselves, over and over and over again.

So while our YES might keep the peace with others, our internal NO erodes trust in ourselves and our integrity, every single time we say YES when we mean NO.

Take this in for a moment… it’s a difficult truth, isn’t it?

You can continue to be out of alignment with yourself if you choose. You can continue to say YES when you really mean NO. But be aware of the cost of this. As you erode trust in yourself you create inner dis-harmony. This leads to dis-ease, dissatisfaction and resentment.

Or you can choose right now, in this moment, to honor your truth going forward.

The more you honor your truth, the more you are in contact with your core and the essence of who you are. The more in harmony you are with yourself, the more ease and vitality you experience.

Integrity means speaking your truth with love and power. Integrity is also living by your own truth while remaining in alignment with the greatest good of humanity.

When you say NO when you mean NO you actually contribute to the greater good of humanity. I know this may challenge everything you’ve learned about life and relationships and what is acceptable. Yet it’s very true.

Because what this allows you to do is to say YES to what you really desire to say YES to.

When you say YES to your true desires, you have greater self-trust and integrity. Which leads to greater vitality. Which leads to you contributing more of your unique, passionate, creative expression and gifts to the world.

So my dear one, I invite you to consider four very powerful questions:

• What do you really desire?

It can be anything! Perhaps you desire to get a massage, go to Maui for a vacation, or get a new sexy dress. Or perhaps you desire to get pregnant, find a lover, rekindle the spark in your relationship… Or enjoy pain-free sex, release shame, experience mind-blowing sex, love your body, have more confidence… Or get a latte on your way to work… Or pick up some strawberries and go play hooky in the park…

Whatever it is, get clear and honest with yourself. Your desires are a beautiful thing. They are a compass directing you to what is important, true and nourishing for you.

• What (and who) have you been saying YES to that supports your desires?

Great! Congratulations. This is important to acknowledge. Keep choosing more of this so you continue forward in alignment with what is most important to you.

• What (and who) have you been saying YES to that does not support your desires?

Again, be honest with yourself. Are you saying yes to your boss’ or business partner’s requests? Your partner’s? Your kid’s? Your mom’s? Requests to stay longer? Volunteer more? Take on more responsibilities?

Acknowledging what is not supporting what you truly desire is the first step to changing this so you can get on track with being in harmony with yourself.

• What do you need to say NO to in order to say YES to what you desire?

This is where you get to be really honest with yourself. Identifying this is essential for getting out of this self-imposed trap. Then choosing to say YES to yourself and NO to others is the next step for you to take to come into greater alignment with yourself and your desires.

Together, let’s put an end to this epidemic of saying YES when you mean NO. It’s time to get aligned and say NO when you mean NO and YES when you mean YES.

I love hearing from you! Share your answers to these four powerful questions in the comments below. And most importantly, let me know, are you willing to choose right now in this moment to honor your truth going forward?

(Psst… If you desire having more pleasure and vitality in your life and relationships, experiencing pain-free and enjoyable sex and even mind-blowing orgasms, check out my Jade Egg Mastery Program here. This is your chance to say YES to what you really desire!)

Want to challenge yourself daily? Join The Daring Project, it’s free for 30-days! Click here to join.

Thousands of women around the world have told me again and again that for much of their lives they looked to outside “experts” for answers. They thought these people (most often men) must know more – and better – than they do.

But of course! Isn’t that the way it is for a reason? There is a multi-billion dollar industry dedicated to telling women they are wrong and need to be fixed and that the solutions lie outside of themselves.

How could a multi-billion dollar industry be wrong?

Let that sink in for a moment…

There is a multi-billion dollar industry profiting from your insecurity; from your doubt and distrust of yourself. The lies this industry spews about women: who you should be, who you shouldn’t be, what you should do, what you shouldn’t do, are so pervasive. They can feel like the water you swim in: just the way it is.

But I’m here to tell you THIS IS NOT JUST THE WAY IT IS.

These lies have domesticated women and disconnected us from our own inherent genius within.

I say NO MORE! No more buying these lies. No more allowing ourselves to be tamed and trained to be smaller, controllable versions of ourselves.

Beautiful you, is it time you say NO MORE to these lies? NO MORE to being domesticated? No more to suppressing your greatness?

If so, congratulations. I celebrate your choice! By saying NO MORE to the lies you are also saying YES to yourself.

As you move forward from here it’s important to know the 3 signs that you are domesticated. When you can spot these signs in your own life, you begin to see the “water” you’ve been swimming in. This is the first step to rewilding yourself.

3 Signs You’re Domesticated:

1. You defer to outside authorities on issues related to your body, your finances, your worth, your pleasure, your sexuality.
2. You believe you are not good enough, woman enough, sexy enough, feminine enough, complete enough, orgasmic enough.
3. You think you need to be perfect: the perfect sexual partner, the perfect wife, the perfect mom, the perfect Board member, the perfect everything.

So, take a moment for an honest, loving, reality check with yourself.

How often do you defer to outside authorities? How much of your life have you spent obsessing with being good enough and being perfect?

Be kind with yourself. This is not the time for judging yourself. The domestication of women has rested on the power of being able to judge and shame you. So you get to be bigger than that, kinder than that. The only way to change this cycle of judgment is to stop the judgment.

How do you do this? Acknowledge that you’ve been domesticated and that you are choosing to change this. Don’t waste time or energy on judging what has been. Instead, set your sights to what is ahead…

There is so much inherent genius in your body, in your feminine psyche, in your pleasure. The only way to free yourself from domestication is to rewild yourself. And the only way to rewild yourself and free your greatness from suppression is to come home to yourself.

How?

~ Instead of looking outside yourself for answers, choose to be your own authority.

~ Instead of believing you are not enough, begin to love yourself into wholeness.

~ Instead of trying to be some perfect version of what others think you should be, begin to explore your authentic, true self within.

Coming home to yourself, to your true self, is the biggest gift you can give yourself. To support you in this journey, I invite you to join me on Saturday, April 29th for a free webinar as we dive deeper into this topic of rewilding ourselves.

Click the link below for more information and to claim your spot as a wild woman, a free woman, an audacious woman:

The Audacity of Pleasure: How Dare You Make Pleasure Your Lifestyle?
3 Big Pitfalls & Promises of Pleasure

Remember: You deserve to be free and wild. It is your birthright and the only way that your authentic self can know true pleasure and fulfillment.

Want to challenge yourself daily? Join The Daring Project, it’s free for 30-days! Click here to join.

Women’s issues are on the forefront of change around the globe, which is very exciting!

We are confronting establishments and ideals and taking a stand for our bodies.

Yet on a micro-level, in my field of work around the psycho-sexual nature of women, there’s evidence the same revolution is needed.

I’ve been witnessing doctors making uncontested, unsubstantiated claims and self-proclaimed “Jade Egg/Yoni Egg” teachers saying equally unsubstantiated new-age miracle cures.

Yet what this is about isn’t the Jade Egg, it’s how these women empowerment leaders are failing to lead.

Rather, they prefer to lie, slander and shame one another and any women in the line of fire, which degrades the profundity of this life-transforming practice.

What’s even more screamingly obvious, is that the unspoken issue here (and globally) is actually about you: Your power. Your freedom. Your sovereignty.

Social conditioning has made it so that we blindly defer our power to anyone of ‘authority’, so the sooner we realize that we project our own power and radiance onto leaders, the sooner we can reclaim ourselves and start behaving as sovereign women.

If we do not come forward and claim our own sacred ground – our body – someone else will predetermine how it is for us.

We are constantly shamed and bullied into surgeries, prescriptions, procedures, and so-called empowerment trainings.

We believe it when we are told we are not good enough, complete enough, woman enough, sexy enough, Feminine enough, orgasmic enough… in short, we are not okay as we are right now.

And the solution to fix our imperfect selves is that we must do ‘this’ and ‘that’ to finally be able to meet this imaginary standard of perfection that someone else has set.

Right?

I don’t think so.

The only way I know to transform the suppression of our greatness is to come home to ourselves.

Right now.

Right now, choose you.

DARE to be yourself, to love yourself, to listen to yourself, and to actually enjoy who you naturally are.

It’s not empowering to NEED someone (doctor, teacher, guru, etc).

It’s not empowerment if a practice or philosophy creates more self-doubt, depression, less-than, broken, wrong, etc

The madness must end and we’re the ones that can end it.

No one has the RIGHT to determine what happens to your sex. PERIOD.

Your sexuality, your genitals… it’s your sovereign space.

You don’t need surgeries, you don’t need special vagina tricks, you just need YOU.

So what will it be, what everyone else wants you to be or what you choose to live for yourself?

If any of this has rung true for you, please share this and leave me your comments below. You matter. Your story matters.

Want to challenge yourself daily?  Join The Daring Project, it’s free for 30-days! Click here to join.