Sexual Sovereignty?

Is It The Next Step In Our Sexual Evolution?

Deep inside yourself, you can feel it.

It can be the softest whisper or as powerful as newly unleashed lava.

However you sense it, your sexual evolution is happening right now. 

Even if you don’t believe in it or you feel trapped, lost, or simply bored out of your mind, within you is a force that will not be stopped.

It wakes you at night, it titillates you in random moments, and it catches you when you least expect it.

This is the fragrance of your sexual sovereignty.

These very words, when uttered aloud, can evoke curiosity, relief, and at times, confusion.

What is sexual sovereignty and could it possibly be part of our sexual evolution?

Whether or not we want to admit it, we are evolving sexually.

It may not look that way when we see how extensively we have converted sexuality into a commodity and how far away we have come from truly understanding this powerful human force.

Furthermore, the prevalence of world-wide sexual trauma and abuse hardly inspires us to grasp our own transformation.

Yet beneath all the turmoil and multi-trillion dollar pirating of our sexuality, there is a quiet evolution blossoming.

The root of the word evolution contains within it the idea of unfolding or development.

Therefore, sexual evolution is the natural unfolding or development of sexuality.

If we take this to heart and apply it to an individual, we can see that that each one of us has the potential for a deep unfolding or unveiling of our erotic nature.

It is equally important to note that today’s version of evolutionary sexuality has less to do with cryptic rituals, initiations, or highly specialized sexual postures and techniques and has more to do with accessing something deep within each of us.

This is where sexual sovereignty comes in.

It is the forgotten element of our nature that is often over-shadowed by our fixation on our pain, disappointment, regret, or what is commonly known as our sexual ‘wound-ology’—the focus on our sexual pain and trauma to the point of identifying ourselves with it.

Sexual sovereignty is the natural unfolding of our own erotic wisdom, including the concept of being a fully emotionally and sexually expressed adult.

What it’s not:

Sexual sovereignty isn’t an pre-determined idea or a posture we can assume.

Nor is it something we can bargain for, get from someone, lose to someone, or even purchase.

What it is:

Sexual sovereignty is what occurs when we begin to excavate the riches of our being, the gifts that have yet to be birthed, what has yet to be touched or even acknowledged, without the interference or influence of the external world while being in harmony with our deep erotic wisdom.

By fully claiming our sexuality and commanding an embodied authority of this aspect of our life, our sexuality frees itself from being ruled or formed by external opinions or behaviors, and instead, becomes self-validated, self-reflective and self-actualizing.

Key questions to reveal your sexual sovereignty:

1. Are you identified with your sexual trauma or abuse? If yes, are you willing to begin to explore that who you are is greater than the sum of that experience?

2. Have you spent time concentrating on what your ‘un-born’ or ‘un-expressed’ gifts may be? If not, why not?

3. Are you willing to explore, understand, and transform your past sexual imprints and begin to explore the possibility of self-defining your sensuality and sexuality?

It’s important to note that sexual sovereignty is a natural state of being which is inclusive of both our emotional/psychological self and our erotic intelligence.

It is our inherent sensuality that possess sexual clarity, integrity, and full expression along with emotional depth and responsibility.

As we face some of our biggest evolutionary choices—choices that will determine whether our species continues to thrive and prosper—affirming our own sexual sovereignty becomes an essential part to our contribution to planetary change.

If the concept of sexual sovereignty is something you would like to make into reality, I recommend starting with my book: Emergence of the Sensual Woman.

If you enjoyed this article, please likeshare it, join the Succulence Revolution (sign up on that page), & leave your thoughts below in the comment section.

Exhausting Periods?

Challenging 5 Common Myths About Your Cycle.

Have you ever contemplated why you feel so tired during your period?

Perhaps you don’t feel tired, but the women around you always remark about how tired they feel around their menstrual cycle?

Maybe you read about how women can learn to actually stop their menses through specific practices and you wondered about whether or not that was a good idea?

It could be that you also wondered if somehow your period was a time for detoxing?

Or, you heard that if you don’t bleed on the new moon, there is something out of whack with your Femininity?

Myths about our menstrual cycle are so prevalent these days that it is hard to decipher fact from fiction.

In fact, their very existence can create a variety of neuroses that can evolve into female health challenges.

Five Unchallenged & Common Myths:

1. Women lose energy during their menses.

This is an interesting myth because it is a learned idea. Unless you are the rare woman that actually is exhausted during her period, this myth simply isn’t true.

Yet because we ‘believe it to be true’, we behave accordingly, blaming our period for our exhaustion versus our own lifestyle choices.

On the level of our body and psyche, the menstrual phase of our cycle is a natural ‘reset and rest’ time. It is a time for us to enjoy going inward, to attune ourselves to what is working and not working in our lives, and to part-take in nourishing activities.

As for blood loss, unless we are excessively bleeding, the amount of blood loss is not enough to equate fatigue. We lose, on average, 35ml of blood with our menses, yet donating blood, on average, we give more than 10x the amount of blood (450ml)!

Furthermore, in the West, we often attribute slowing down and being still with being tired or sleepy.

But these are unrelated states.

What is important here is to note that we have a strong ‘meme’ (a mental virus propagated as truth) interplaying with poor life-style habits.

Reset: Our menses is a time to go inward, to contemplate, to slow down, to reset and realign ourselves to what is most important in our lives.

When we slow down, if we are tired, we let ourselves enjoy relaxing and rejuvenating ourselves with plenty of rest.

2. Our kidneys are adversely affected by the menses.

What is actually meant here is a statement on our adrenal health, not so much our kidney health. This confusion comes from attempting to translate an Eastern concept (kidney health) into a Western paradigm (adrenal health).

Furthermore, this meme is backwards—It is the exhaustion or depletion of our adrenals that adversely affects our menstrual cycle, not the reverse.

However, it is common that in the natural ‘rest and reset’ time of the actual menses, we experience greater awareness of our adrenals and their imbalances.

What fatigues our adrenals? Stress, of all kinds.

When the adrenals are in stress cycle, they no longer can support producing our healthy hormones in a balanced way.

This can lead to issues such as estrogen dominance which is linked to the experience of PMS, fibroids, endometriosis and irregular menstrual cycles, just to name a few.


By having a good look at our life-style, we can begin to make some positive changes towards enjoying more down time and practicing being quiet more regularly.

Many women report a positive change in their cycles simply by regaining their adrenal health.

3. The Taoist premise that encourages early menopause (cessation of the menses).

This premise is widely propagated through different texts that state that a woman loses her JING when she menstruates, therefore leading to the assumption that in order to stay young and healthy, we must prevent the loss of our JING as much as possible.

Again, here we have the difficulty of translating an ancient concept with modern medicine. In a very simplistic way, the concept of JING can be loosely related to adrenal health.

As we already noted, life-style is the main culprit to eroding adrenal health and I have found this to be true in regards to women’s health issues.

What is more draining than our actual menses is our lack of introspection and emotional responsibility.

PMS, in my experience, can be diminished or eliminated by having the willingness to examine ourselves more deeply and to take ownership of our choices and of our shaping our lives into one that is supportive of our natural, rhythmic, womanly cycle.


Menstruation is natural.

Our environment, our life-style and our psychological well-being all play a big part in how we experience our cycle.

When we begin to live more in harmony with our own cycles, we return to our optimum state of vibrant womanly health.

4. Our menses is a natural detox program.

Here is another interesting meme that implies that we are somehow ‘dirty’ and must be ‘cleansed’ once per month.

Yet, menstruation is one of the four natural expressions of fertility cycle.

For this one, I want to jump immediately into the reset.


As mentioned in #3, we could do well by owning ourselves emotionally.

Often we do use our uterus as a sort of psychic garbage can.

However, I have noticed that women who honestly begin to use the PMS/menstrual time of their cycle as a time to blossom in their emotional maturity, their menstrual pain diminished or ceases all together.

Of course, there are ways to exercise, eat, and supplement our lives that equally support the transformation of living in harmony with our feminine rhythm.

5. If we don’t bleed on the new moon, we are out of sync with our Femininity.

This meme is very harmful because not all women menstruate on the dark moon and this does not, by default, prove that they are out of sync with their Femininity.

In fact, women who follow the recommended protocol to bleed on the new moon may be doing everything right and still not bleed at the ‘right time of the month’.


If your cycle is healthy and you feel attuned with yourself, then whenever you bleed is perfect.

We must let go of forcing ourselves to live according to external constructs and instead start to live according to what is true for our own unique self.

When it comes to our own deep Feminine wisdom, nothing replaces attuning ourselves with ourselves and being willing to challenge and question everything that we believe to  be true about what it means to be a woman in modern times.

This is a true and courageous act of claiming and living according to our embodied wisdom.

If you would love to understand your own inner wisdom, check out my book.

If you enjoyed this article, please like it, share it, and leave your comments below so we can continue to unveil our own truths about what it means to be a healthy woman.

Pleasure Isn’t Optional

5 Secrets To Increasing Your Pleasure Now.

“I can’t remember the last time I actually felt delicious, seems like I am always tired these days.”

“Pleasure is for the younger generation, at my age, I’m happy just making it through the day.”

“After birthing my children, I never quite felt the same and now I have no idea what it means to feel sensually alive.”

“I’m too busy to think about pleasure and find it rather irritating to be bombarded with messages of sex and orgasm on a daily basis.”

“My partner has left me for what he calls a more orgasmically expressed woman. It hurts, but to be honest, I have never really known my own orgasmic potential.”

These are comments I hear every day from women around the world and they point to something important:

As much as we have ‘advanced’ our civilization, it seems to me that we have digressed in the realm of being deeply alive, expressed human beings.

What is your current relationship to pleasure?

Is it a random event or something reliant on external circumstances?

Or is it something you cherish and spend time exploring?

Pleasure isn’t a commodity, something we can buy by the ‘bunch’ or ‘jar-full’ despite a multi-billion dollar industry doing its best to convince us that our pleasure is a result of having something ‘external’.

Rather, pleasure is what we are.

Pleasure is like breathing, digesting, and our heart beating.

It delivers essential messages to our brain, triggering the centers which enable us to express our true selves with courage, self-esteem, and creativity.

In fact, pleasure is the very ingredient that nurtures life itself, for without it we literally fall ill.

Studies of nitric oxide (a substance naturally produced by our body when we experience something pleasurable) show that low the levels of nitric oxide make our body more disease prone, whereas high levels of nitric oxide keeps us vibrant and functioning efficiently.

How do we raise our nitric oxide levels?

Pure and simple: On-going infusions of pleasure.

This includes all things that induce the sensation of pleasure within us as well as sexual pleasure, but not just any kind of sexual pleasure.

In the state I like to call “relaxed arousal”, we access deep arousal while experiencing profound levels of relaxation, surrender, and softening.

This type of pleasure actually resets our entire being to function at its true potential and allows us to access transcendent states of consciousness!

5 Secrets to Relaxed Arousal:

    1. Choosing Pleasure: Discover new ways to delight yourself regularly. Be creative, explore all of your senses regularly and drop into a profound connection with them.
    2. Eliminating Stress: Do your best to eliminate stressors such as: bad relationships, work you hate, living in a toxic space, eating food that makes you acidic, etc. Stress actually numbs our capacity to feel pleasure and yet we need pleasure to counter-act the damaging effects of stress.
    3. Enjoy Softening: Define for yourself ways in which you could soften and relax, such as taking a bath with flower petals and candle light or deepening your breath when receiving a compliment or touch from someone.
    4. Self-Pleasuring: You must become your own best lover and give yourself the touch you yearn for. Let go of any goals towards orgasm, instead indulge in exploring yourself slowly. Pause, soften, and breathe as you start to get aroused. The more you take the time to explore your pleasure potential, the more you ignite it!
    5. Jade Egg Practice: The practice of using a small Jade Egg inter-vaginally. It’s excellent for pelvic health and awakening your pleasure potential. It also helps to send much needed signals via your pelvic nerve to your brain so that you can live from a deeply integrated, creative, place of self-love.


Aside from the obvious ‘sensual/sexual’ side of pleasure, pleasure also comes in many forms. Do you know what your key ‘pleasure activation’ activities are?

Make time right now to discover what simple, yet fun activities that you could do each day to create higher doses of pleasure for yourself.

Pleasure Tip of the Day:

The more you get your groove on, the more alive you will feel! 

One of the fastest ways to shift our mood, enhance our life-giving hormones, and create more openness in our body is through moving & shaking!

See if you can find a few minutes each day in this coming week (& longer if it brings you delight) to put on a favorite piece of music and just let yourself move with joy and innocence.

If you want to add a pelvic healing component, then add some curvy movements with your hips such as hip circles, side-to-side or front-to-back tilts, or even a shimmy or three!

Whatever you choose make pleasure a priority.

You will find yourself feeling more fulfilled, juicy, confident, and expressed and the world will be a better place for it.

If you want more delicious aliveness in your life, be sure to put your name and email below and you will instantly receive my free video series: 3 Myths That Are Killing Your Pleasure (& What To Do About It). 

And be sure to leave your comment below on what steps you are taking to weave more pleasure into your life.

Happy International Woman’s Day!

Let’s champion our birthright of Pleasure together…