Why Impeccability Is The New Sexy

The Toltecs have a beautiful definition for impeccability: To be impeccable means to not use words against yourself (self-criticism/self-shaming) or others (criticism/shaming).

Let’s add to that definition our ability to reside, fully, in our own sexual sovereignty.

From this perspective, impeccability creates a clear presence, one that is not weighed down by the burden of maintaining lies or hurtful thoughts about oneself or others.

It allows for clarity of mind, heart and body, where you are free to feel the fullness of your undomesticated erotic genius without having to act out in any particular or pre-determined way.

This allows us to by-pass socially pressured or endorsed (enforced) ways of being a sexual creature such as “all flirting leadings to sex”, “all touch indicates desire for sex”, and “all sexual delights” infers to “please take me now.”

These rather clumsy and juvenile ways of expressing our sexual selves also leads to behaviors that are out of integrity with oneself.

How is it that to be ‘sexually liberated’ we must actually be able to have sex with whomever-whenever? Since when is that an act of liberation?

Then add into the mix alcohol and recreational substances and you have a potent combo of neurotic, shallow and unsatisfying sex.

In fact, in some groups, if a woman’s vagina isn’t readily available to everyone she is considered sexually repressed.

That’s where sexual liberation is actually a facade for sexual ignorance.

It is where we lose sight of the opportunity to feel into the scintillating aliveness that is pulsing between two people.

Why not play and enjoy this sexual tension?

What’s the rush to resolve this tension all about?

What are we afraid of if we don’t ‘take things all the way’?

Impeccability is sexy, deeply so.

It allows all of you to meet all of me.

We can be vulnerable together, open and pure in our dance, free of goals or even the need to control the outcome.

We can enjoy the exquisite unfolding of something utterly profound and magical, without ever having to take our clothes off.

Don’t get me wrong, I love skin to skin connection with the person I choose, I love, I respect and I’m willing to see and be seen by.

But I’m not talking about deep lovemaking or wild, abandoned Eros (although it is included in this discussion).

What I’m speaking of is revolutionary: it is unbridled, pure, erotic innocence leading the way.

Not innocence with ignorance.

But innocence with integrated consciousness.

In other words, innocence with impeccability.

This is where we meet, outside of social pressures, outside of our conditioning, outside of predetermined social constructs… where pure creativity leads the way.

It is where my sexual sovereignty and yours come together to play.

It’s where our omni-orgasmic birthright ignites herself and infuses our moments.

Where even just a breath sends ripples of delight into all the curves and valleys of our being.

Without impeccability, we are left playing with projections and insecurities, becoming beggars in the equation.

Yet… we are all gourmet.

All born into this birthright and responsibility.

How amazing that it gets to be one that is capable of creating tremendously beautiful experiences of profound pleasure along with unshakable integrity.

If delighting in the creative nature of your erotic innocence in combination with being impeccable is something you’d love to learn more about,  you may want to start with my book: Emergence of the Sensual Woman.

As always, I would love to hear directly from you. What did you find challenging about this article? Was there anything that inspired you? How do you treat yourself or others, especially with regards to sexuality? Let me know in the comment section below.

Proceptivity – Our Innately Seductive Feline Nature

You notice a chain reaction in the room as a woman walks by—she isn’t the most beautiful or best dressed woman in the room, but something about her is spell-binding.

Inside your body you sense a warmth washing through you, as though you are made of warm, honey-nectar… irresistible.

Within you is a dance, the way your eyes move, the way your lips form their words, the way in which your fingertips touch whatever the come into contact with. You are turned-on by yourself and in turn, turn-on the world around you.

This isn’t manipulation, it’s natural and… hormonal.

Within you lives your own feline nature, the part of you that undulates slowly to the heart beat of life itself.

It’s related to a state of being known as: PROCEPTIVE.

Pro-actively receptive.

It happens when oxytocin & estrogen dance together and unleash allure, seduction, and the ‘come hither and claim me’ version of ourselves.

What’s even more interesting is when we choose to both turn off our ability to sense when this happening within us and to ignore the strong hormonal signals that we are transmitting out into the world.

Why would we do that?

Because we are afraid. Afraid of sending off the “wrong signals”.

What are the “wrong signals”? Who defined what is a right or wrong signal?

Whatever the answer may be, I’m more interested in how we personally relate to these ideas.

Having taught conscious flirting for years, I’ve come across the feminine paradox:

Desiring to be more desirable while being
simultaneously repulsed or afraid of it.

I want to venture to say that our idea of seduction has always been a double-edged sword, so it comes to no surprise that we would both desire to be more powerfully seductive and simultaneously shun our alluring capacities.

These ideas are not new. In fact, the word persuasion comes from the Greek goddess Peitho, also known as the Goddess of Persuasion especially in relation to romance, seduction and love.

In her story, she is both capable of alluring and inspiring people to do as she desires while also being able to elicit violent reactions towards herself.

I sense this Greek goddess was born of the natural capacity that we have as women to be proceptive and the consequences of having this power.

We cannot help this natural magnetic quality from existing, yet our lack of understanding in this potent power is what actually can lead to trouble.

So how do we make peace with this obvious paradox?

First off, accepting and celebrating that our body naturally creates a state in which we receive the world in a pro-active fashion. This means that we intentionally allow what delights us to manifest and when it does, we allow it to touch us deeply.

Then comes responsibility.

Although our instinctual or animal self has this natural capacity, we live in a domesticated world.

A world where beauty is exploited and abused.

A world that has forgotten to protect the feminine and generations of women who have forgotten how to receive and inspire protection.

Responsibility therefore comes in the shape of recognizing our innate power, of harnessing this power and using it wisely to bring more of what we love into our lives, and of simultaneously being aware that our very ambivalence to our seductive nature can and does create the experience of what we don’t want to attract into our lives.

This begs us to look at our ambivalence. To see where we have deep desire to be more attractive and to get what we love in our life… and to see where we are terrified of going for what we truly would love and then allowing ourselves to really receive it fully.

We have natural power and with that power we must have wisdom.

We are meant to inspire action in the world, the kind of action we inspire is up to us individually.

Denying we are seductive places us in a precarious position, one where we still innately are magnetic, but one where we may suffer the consequences of the influence this primal force has on others.

Let’s look at it alchemically.

Inside of us is our magnetic womb-space, the birth-center of creation itself and the home of our sensual/sexual power.

This center is like water, it flows with sensuality and aliveness.

Inside of us there is also our heart-space, the center of our passion, enthusiasm, and profound self-respect.

This center is more like fire, it burns with exceptional brightness and has the capacity to burn through illusion and have us see the truth.

When we combine our water and fire elements, our sexuality with the consciousness of our heart center, in other words, our eros with our psyche, we birth steam, we birth pleasure, we birth conscious proceptivity.

In fact, what is intriguing about conscious sexual practice is invoking sexual hormones in combination with oxytocin. In other words, we create proceptivity on an on-going basis.

Women who do this literally glow like sweet, golden honey.

Our capacity to harness our natural seduction in combination with deep consciousness allows us to make peace with this powerful feminine force and to create experiences in the world that are both deliciously rewarding while being healthy and life-giving.

If learning how to do this for yourself is intriguing, I’d recommend starting with my book, The Emergence of The Sensual Woman.

I want to hear from you, is it true for you what I’ve shared? Do you desire to be more attractive and yet fear it? Do you love to flirt, yet dislike having to deal with the responses to your beauty? What other challenges do you face in being a magnetic being?


Live Interview: Our Innate Erotic Genius & Its Evolutionary Impact

On a rare occasion, one of the interviews I do for a summit is released publicly.

Lisa Schraeder from the Shakti Summit has agreed to let our interview be public.

In this interview I reveal my thoughts about our inborn Erotic Genius and how attuning ourselves to it can have a strong evolutionary impact on our lives.

Listen to Our Innate Erotic Genius and Its Evolutionary Impact Interview:

I’d love to know what you found most compelling and what resonated the most with you.

Please leave me your comments about it in the comments section below…

This interview is part of the Shakti Summit 2014 an online event that featured world-renowned experts sharing insights and deep wisdom to help you ignite a passionate life overflowing with joy, vitality, sensuality and love. For more information, please visit

Erotic Genius:

What Is It And Do We all Have One?

…the gravitational attraction between one naked body and another is but a small reflection of the more ongoing and insistent eros between our body and the earth.”—David Abram

The word Erotic is titillating.

It can make us blush, our hearts beat a little faster, yearn for our lover, or run in the other direction as quickly as possible.

No matter what the case, it is always enlivening, in some form or another.

And that’s the point. Eros, and therefore, the erotic, is at the core of what invigorates life. Without it, it is said the world would be barren.

Yet we live in a world that pretends it isn’t intimately linked to the fabric of life in the most sensual, pleasureful ways imaginable.

Rather we tolerate a world that enslaves our wildness, leaving us with only bland conformity at best and sexploitation-consumerism at worst.

Then add the word Genius into the mix and things gets confusing.

What does our Genius have to do with our Erotic nature?

“In ancient Rome, our genius was [originally] known as the individual instance of a universal (non-specific) divine nature that is present in everyone [and everything]. It was considered to be the guiding spirit of a person. By the time of Augustus, the word began to acquire its secondary meaning of “inspiration, talent.” —Wikipedia

Our Erotic Genius is our guiding essence which is directly linked to enlivening us.

To the external world, it’s perceived and received as a form of our inspiration and talent.

Yet internally, it’s the part of us that irrevocably connects us intimately with life itself.

It’s sole purpose is to fuel us with enough ingenuity, talent and gusto so that we may birth our gifts into the world shamelessly.

And yes, we all possess this unassuming current that is literally giving us both the juice and the guidance to thrive day in and day out.

So why is that that few of us tap into this natural resource, only briefly glimpsing its grace in random ‘Ah-ha’ moments or moments of pleasure so intense all we can do is cry?

What Does It Have To Do With Sex?

Everything. And nothing.

This is where things get interesting.

We are sexual beings, there’s no getting around it, no matter how hard some of us may try.

It doesn’t matter what we look like, how successful we are or not, whether we are partnered or not, whether we love sex or hate it, our Erotic Genius™ cares not for such things.

It is concerned only with keeping us alive and purring, if we will let it.

So let me say this again: You are a sexual being, but you’ve forgotten that.

This means whether or not we ‘do’ something about our sexuality, we still innately are running this life-enhancing current.

Sometimes its turned down to a mere trickle, leaving us imagining that we are numb or dead to pleasure.

Sometimes its turned up so intensely it may feel like our very body cannot sustain the force of such profound pleasure.

And this happens whether or not we engage in the act of sex.

The truth is, when we do consciously engage in the act of sex and allow our own Erotic Genius™ the freedom to lead, we come back home to ourselves.

We reclaim the sacred from the profane.

We reclaim our birthright.

The 5 Levels Of Erotic Genius

Eroticism reveals to us another world, inside this world. The senses become servants of the imagination, and let us see the invisible and hear the inaudible. —Octavio Paz

So what does this mean for us in our day to day lives?

Just as our body, emotions, mind, and spirit have a natural maturity process, so does our sexuality.

There are 5 distinct levels to our the sexual evolution:

Level 1: Erotic Innocence

This is from pre-birth to puberty.

It’s how we discover our body & get oriented to the World. We literally make sense of the World through our sensuality.

This level is influenced by our parents/siblings/caregivers.

Level 2: Erotic Activation

This is puberty.

It’s where we get familiar with the potency of our sexuality and where we are subject to strong hormonal impulses.

At this stage, we’re strongly influenced by friends, media, & our community.

Level 3: Erotic Exploration

This is where we ‘do’ sex.

We start to explore what is possible, what we like and don’t like.

Learning the ‘how-tos’ of sex & relating.

We are influenced by experts, books, & media, “mainstream” accessible sex education.

Level 4: Erotic Expansion

This is where we heal the schism between psyche with our sexuality.

We explore heart-centered, meditative sexuality along with our erotic edges.

We model ourselves with existing ‘matrices’.

In this we are influenced by established ‘alternative’ sex ed. books, teachers & schools.

Level 5: Erotic Wisdom

This is where we are ‘sexual BE-ings’, where our sexuality is no longer confined to genital activation, it becomes cellular.

We experience deep, sexual gnosis.

We become Omni-Orgasmic—activated in full body and by life itself.

Here we are self-generated, self-created, self-validated, and self-referenced.

Integrated Sexuality

Consider each of these levels as necessary as the next, if we miss one, we’ll inevitably return to it in order to cultivate an integrated sexuality.

The problem is when we attempt to abide to a pre-ordained ‘right timing’ for each level, making any reenactment seem ‘out of place’ when done ‘out of schedule’.

Yet these levels are not hierarchical, but dynamic and cyclical. In truth, we born Omni- orgasmic and our life journey is about returning to this inherent state while enjoying exploring the gifts of each level from new-found perspectives.

In a World where the erotic is pre-fabricated, pre-packaged, and pre-determined, where there’s disturbingly no time given to cultivating our relationship with this aspect of ourselves, we find little recognition of the true nature of Eros as a liaison between our biology and the Earth herself.

Now, more than any other time in history, our evolutionary journey is in our hands.

Each step we take, we have the choice to listen to and align with our innate Erotic Genius.

This is not an act of frivolousness, but a revolutionary act of courage wherein we each ignite ourselves and live true to our full potential, discovering the profound wisdom that lives within our erotic nature.

If you’d love to explore your own inborn Erotic Genius, I recommend starting with my book: Emergence of the Sensual Woman

I would love to hear from you, so please leave me your comments below. If you enjoyed this article, please like, share it, & be sure to join the Succulence Revolution (you’ll see the sign-up boxes).