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Are you prepared for your client's #MeToo Story?

Your Client’s #MeToo Story – Are You Prepared?

With the rise and empowerment of women’s voices comes a shadow: the emergence of pain, anger, fear, confusion and numbness.

Our clients trust us. Implicitly. Therefore it’s natural that we may be the first place where their voice comes forward. How prepared are we for this vulnerable and edgy conversation?

As a professional who is dedicated to the full transformation of our clients, we are in an incredible position to assist women through this powerful time, yet few feel equipped and/or comfortable at having these important, yet intensely edgy conversations.

How we handle these stories will keep a woman in her trauma cycle or will create a pattern interruption that will support her to find her own way through her reclamation journey.

No Psycho-Sexual Training

Although many ​are not qualified to take ​a woman ​on this reclamation journey, we can still be their first responders. How we handle those first few moments are crucial to the success of this reclamation journey; so we want to keep in mind that at the heart of this issue is trust: broken trust, that is.

When trauma of this nature has occurred, ​a ​woman no longer trusts her own relationship with
​her body, never mind other people. This is why it’s so crucial ​she begin​s​ with ​her own body.

Few have methodologies that assist this specifically, however, we can gently inspire a woman to contemplate this idea: her fastest path to wholeness is through returning to herself and her body.

That said, there are a few things we are all capable of offering. Here are three simple, yet potent concepts can we take to impeccably show up for our clients without contributing to the trauma:

1. We transform through who we are, not what we say. This first concept is about doing our own inner work around our pain, grief, anger and confusion. Who we are impacts more than anything we could ever say, this is why our ‘felt-state’, who we are deep inside, has such profound impact on our clients.

The more we can allow ourselves to feel these states and choose to love ourselves no matter how ugly these states may be, the more powerful we demonstrate this possibility through our presence (this happens through a powerful process known as limbic re-imprinting).

2. We are powerful, they are powerful. The second concept is more of a definition that we take on as truth. In situations where there’s been victimization, it’s easy to collude with the pain and forget that there’s a powerful person going through a painful experience.

By taking on that you are powerful, and therefore, your clients are powerful, allows them to get a feel for this, perhaps even for the first time. They literally get a sense that ‘they have this’, even if it will be a challenging time – they have what it takes to experience full reclamation.

3. Our greatest wound is our greatest source of power. This third concept is a recognition, a deeper inner knowing. If, as a person, you have not yet come to this realization, it is a worthy contemplation. When this becomes TRUE for you, you’ll be able to hold this as an honest possibility for your clients. This is one of the most powerful ideas in shifting from trauma to thriving.

To be prepared, to be willing to go where few have gone, is the reason our clients trust us and open up to us. Although these conversations can be scary, we can relax in knowing that we’re listening with the knowledge that she’s powerful, that healing is possible, and that sometimes just having someone listen without trying to rescue or fix can be just as powerful, if not more so, than any fancy technique.
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To learn more about how to support your clients through these conversations, join my FREE TRAINING ​for Women Professionals… ​3 Life-Transforming Ways To Support Your Clients Post #MeToo

#NowWhat – The Crossroads of the #MeToo Movement

Since the rise of the #MeToo movement, we find ourselves at a crossroads and what YOU choose will impact the outcome.

Find out why YOUR Sexual Sovereignty is crucial in changing the world.

Your Story Matters. Your Voice Matters. You Matter.

Join our growing movement: www.TheDaringProject.com

3 Keys To Healing Your Relationship With The Inner Masculine

The #MeToo posts that swept through social media recently have lifted the conversation of sexual abuse and harassment out of the shadows and into the spotlight.

Along the way, these posts, and the responses to them, revealed something big…

As men came forward and shared their own #metoo posts, acknowledging the abuse they’ve experienced, they got met with anger and criticism.

Some women reacted with, “This is about the women, not you!” and “Who are you to #metoo? You’re the cause of this problem in the first place!”

I’m sorry to say, but these women, while possibly well intentioned and part of the female empowerment movement, have gotten it wrong. Their reaction reflects a huge lack of understanding. We do NOT need to get angry and push away the masculine. That’s the cause of alienation in the first place.

This righteous anger keeps us small and limited. It also reveals our own wounding: We women don’t have a healthy relationship with our inner masculine.

We don’t honor our boundaries.

We don’t say NO when we mean NO.

We don’t speak up for ourselves.

How can we have the intimate, sexually exciting and satisfying relationships we desire when we’re struggling with our own inner masculine?

How can we invite men into our lives to be allies and collaborators for the changes we wish to see in the world when we’re disconnected from our own inner masculine?

The outer reflects the inner.

The best way to change what’s going on in our relationships is to do the inner work required to heal this wound.

It’s time to stop pointing fingers and start looking at – and actively engaging with – our own inner masculine wounding. Only when we heal our inner split can we begin to heal the schism in our relationships and the collective.

3 Keys To Healing Your Relationship With The Inner Masculine

Use these 3 keys to heal the split within so you can experience the wholeness and fulfillment that comes from the “inner marriage”: the dynamic unification of the inner masculine and the inner feminine. Only then can you experience it in your romantic partnership and beyond.

Key #1: Know & Honor Your Boundaries

Picture a river flowing peacefully through the countryside. The current can be strong in places, languid in others. It knows where it is heading. Yet the river requires a strong, firm riverbank to hold and contribute to its power and direction. The river shapes the bank just as the bank in turn shapes the path of the river.

This is the beautiful dance of the masculine and the feminine, especially when it comes to boundaries. We, the feminine flowing river, require the masculine river bank; the clear and firm boundaries to uphold our power and integrity.

Without boundaries, without the riverbank, we merge with others and lose all sense of self. Yet with rigid boundaries, we lose our own fluidity and flow, and aren’t able to receive support and contributions from other sources. With clear and firm boundaries, we’re able to be in more intimate and real relationship with ourselves and others.

Questions to consider:

  1. What are your boundaries when it comes to alone time? Do you allow yourself to have alone time every day or every week? Or do you instead always make yourself available to your partner, children, friends and other family?
  2. What are your boundaries when it comes to how you communicate with your partner? How you fight? How and what you share with each other? Do you even know? And if you know, do you honor them?
  3. What are your boundaries when it comes to flirting and dating? What kind of physical touch is okay on a first date? What kind of physical touch isn’t okay? Do you even know? And if you know, do you honor them?It is your responsibility to know and honor your boundaries. Don’t give away that responsibility to anyone else. Once you know your boundaries, you need to share them with the people close to you so they can then know and respect them. But it starts with YOU.

Key #2: Honor Your NO

As women we have been domesticated to be pleasant and accommodating. We become people-pleasers and avoid any form of conflict.

We’ve misinterpreted NO to mean something is wrong, something is bad, and our relationship with whomever we’re saying NO to is now in jeopardy. For how can someone still like, respect and even love us if we say NO to their request or demand?

But the reality is, your unspoken NO does more damage to you than anyone else. Your unspoken NO erodes trust and confidence in yourself; it dissolves your sense of self-worth; and it also leaves you high at risk for developing depression or heart disease or other physical-emotional-mental ailment that occurs with this kind of stress on your body.

So, my dear, I strongly encourage you to begin honoring your NO. When something doesn’t feel right, honor your own knowing. That’s where your NO begins.

Questions to consider:

  1. How many times in your life have you said YES when you really meant NO? Would you be willing to forgive yourself for that and make different choices going forward?
  2. What is one situation in your life where you’re currently saying YES or remaining silent when you know the truth is you want to say NO? What step can you take today to begin honoring your NO?
  3. When you honor your NO, you’re letting yourself and everyone around you know that you matter; that your choices matter; that you have a right to choosing what works for you and what doesn’t. You gain confidence, self-esteem and trust in yourself. You also become an even more positive role model for other women and your children; you send a loud and clear message that it is okay to have a YES and a NO.

Key #3: Honor Your Voice & Speak Up

In many of the #metoo posts I read, women shared how, as they were being violated, they couldn’t yell out. They could hear the words in their mind wanting to be screamed, “NO!” and “HELP!” and “What’s going on? This is NOT okay!” But their voices were on lockdown. They couldn’t speak out, even though they knew what was occurring was wrong.

If you have also had this experience, I really want you to know you’re not alone. I’ve also had this experience and know how painful it is. Not speaking up in a situation that we know is harmful to ourselves or another often leads to self-loathing and judgment… but that response will not change or heal anything.

As I already shared in Key #2, we as women have been trained to remain silent, to not speak up for ourselves or others. It’s daring for us to honor our voices and speak up! It’s revolutionary! And it’s essential to our evolution as individuals and the collective.

Questions to consider:

  1. How many times in your life have you not honored your voice and spoken up? Would you be willing to forgive yourself for that and make different choices going forward?
  2. What is one situation in your life where you’re currently not honoring your voice? What step can you take today to begin speaking up for yourself?
  3. Your voice is one of your most valuable instruments, and it can take practice using it powerfully and skillfully, just like with any other instrument.

As you put these 3 keys into practice, you’ll discover a whole new dynamically unified YOU. And when you’re experiencing the “inner marriage,” you will become more attractive to the kinds of relationships and partnerships you truly desire.

Before you go, let’s take this one step further…

Share with me below which key you’re struggling with the most, and the one step you’re going to take TODAY to put it into action.

~ If knowing and honoring your boundaries is your biggest challenge, what is one new healthy boundary you’re going to establish today?

~ If honoring your NO is your biggest challenge, what step can you take today to begin honoring your NO?

~ If honoring your voice is your biggest challenge, how might you speak up for yourself today? (Posting a comment below is a great way to begin honoring your voice! Although it’s written and not spoken, it’s you allowing your voice and your opinions to be heard.)

I love hearing from you and look forward to supporting you in being in action with healing the relationship with your inner masculine.

Want to challenge yourself daily?  Join The Daring Project, it’s free for 30-days! Click here to join.