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The ABCs That Kill

It’s become an epidemic…

As Western women, we have the power to choose. But so many women – too many women – are choosing not to choose.

They’re bored, overwhelmed or numbed out. They’re moving through life on auto-pilot, favoring safety over freedom. They’re behaving like they don’t matter; like their voices don’t matter; like their choices don’t have an impact.

That’s what cracked my heart open today: realizing the impact of free women who are NOT choosing their sovereignty every day.

There are women in other parts of the world who get stoned, shot at, ostracized or beaten for getting caught doing something as innocent as learning the ABC’s. Their hunger to learn how to read and write is never satiated. They’re made wrong for their desires. They don’t have the freedom to choose what they want.

As Western women, we have the privilege of choice. We have the freedom to learn how to read and write; to love who we love; to travel wherever we wish without a male escort; to wear what we desire; to start our own business or family when we want, if we want to; to do what we want when we want.

Yet there is another set of ABC’s that are killing us. These ABC’s aren’t the ones Malala got shot at by the Taliban for. But they carry their own dangers for us Western Women.

What are the ABC’s I’m referring to?

A = Apathy

B = Brokenness

C = Criticism

APATHY

If we’re not choosing, we’re choosing apathy.

Sure, apathy blocks out the poverty, inequality, abuse and tragedies of the world. But it also suppresses our deep caring and ability to heal. It builds a wall around our own genius so we can never fully access, let alone share, our gifts with the world.

Apathy deadens our senses, our capacity to feel pleasure and desire. We end up as empty shells, moving through life on auto-pilot, choosing safety and apathy over freedom and desire.

Apathy is a cop-out. It’s a way of avoiding the power and privilege that we Western Women have. The biggest danger of apathy is that it kills us before we’re even dead.

BROKENNESS

So many women – too many women – make the mistake of believing they are broken. They buy into the cultural training that they shouldn’t age, they shouldn’t gain weight, that they are too much or not enough, and that at their core, they are bad and wrong.

Women then spend their money on anti-aging products and practices; they invest their energy in diets, exercise regimes and trainings with authorities who supposedly know more than they do on how they should be and what they should do to be a “good” woman.

It is so sad to me that this culture of free women gives away our power to try and fix ourselves.

But the truth is, the more you think you’re anything less than perfect, the more you are wasting your life.

You are not broken. Quit trying to fix yourself.

CRITICISM

Take a moment to consider what your internal dialogue has sounded like over the last few hours.

Did you hear an inner voice saying things like, “I’m so beautiful!” And, “Oh, that croissant was so delicious. I’m so glad I chose to have it with extra butter.” And, “I did such a great job with that presentation. I showed up with confidence and handled their concerns brilliantly.”

Chances are, if you’re like the tens of thousands of women I’ve talked with over the years, your inner voice isn’t that kind. Instead, you may have heard an inner voice making comments like, “Oh my gosh! Is that another age spot?” And, “I can’t believe I ate that croissant. And with extra butter? I’m such a pig.” And, “What are they thinking of me now? I can’t believe I made that mistake with my presentation. I really messed that up.”

We as Western Women kill ourselves with criticism. With comparing ourselves to others and their expectations and judgments of us. We get so lost in the stories our inner unkind voice tells us that we lose sight of what is really important and what really matters to us.

How can you show up and be the greatness you truly are when you’re cutting yourself down with criticism?

‘Cause the truth is, you are great.

You are born to step into your greatness alongside all other great beings.

But if you keep letting Apathy, Brokenness and Criticism be your rulers, you will never know the power and possibilities of your sovereignty. You will never know the joy and pleasure of your freedom.

That’s why I invite you… I DARE you… to ditch those ABC’s and choose another, more empowering set of ABC’s that will change everything. These are the building blocks to a whole different way of living.

The ABCs that will set you free:

A = AWAKEN

B = (EM)BODY

C = CHOOSE

AWAKEN

The freedom that we have as Western Women comes with a responsibility: to awaken to our privilege and USE IT to create the kind of world we desire to live in.

Responsibility does NOT mean obligation, being a martyr, or getting hooked on some savior complex. What it DOES mean is taking responsibility for yourself and your gifts and using them to create more for yourself and for everyone.

Many women make the mistake, too, of thinking that when they awaken they will be overwhelmed with the pain of this world; they will feel all the needs and tugs for their attention; they will drown in the sea of sorrow and burn with rage. Dear one, I get it. Believe me, I really do.

It can be challenging to feel it all, to be with all the pain of this world. Yet you don’t have to remain in the pain or drown in it. Allow it all to crack your heart open to more of your caring, to the depths and beauty of our humanity, and ultimately, to the depth and breadth of your own extraordinariness.

Apathy is living in black and white. Awakening is living in technicolor. What do you really desire?

We can NOT afford to fall asleep. We can NOT afford the costs of apathy.

We also can NOT wait for someone – anyone – else to give us permission to awaken to our power and privileges.

Do not wait for your spouse, your partner, your father, your mother, your governor, or your president to give you permission to awaken from the domestication and trance that we’ve been trained to live by all our lives.

That day, and that permission, will never come. And even if it does, it is worthless until YOU give YOURSELF permission to awaken fully to your daring, desiring self.

No more waiting. It’s time to give yourself permission to AWAKEN.

(EM)BODY

When you embody, you come home to yourself. You stop believing you are broken and need fixing. You inhabit your sovereign ground and claim your right to be here.

How can you ever create what you desire if you’re not embodying your beautiful self and your life?

How can the world show up for you when you’re not showing up for yourself?

You’re either embodying or you’re abandoning yourself. Which will it be?

We need you in your body, loving your body and expressing all the truth and wisdom that lives inside. That is what will change the world.

When you are embodied, you are a force of nature. (Click to Tweet)

Your beauty and grace, your joy and pleasure, and everything else that is YOU is essential. The fullness of you is essential. So bring it on!

CHOOSE

You’re either exercising your freedom to choose – choose your partner, your business, your wardrobe, your lifestyle, your food, your desires – and claiming your power, or you’re not choosing and giving your power away. It’s really that simple and powerful.

Sovereignty is our birthright, but you must choose it.

So many women do not have the capacity to choose. They run the risk of getting killed or imprisoned if they choose to love someone of the same gender or get educated or leave the house without covering their head (let alone their entire body).

Now, I know there are parents out there who say to their children, “Eat what’s on your plate! There are children in Africa who are starving.” They use this truth as a manipulation, a bit of a guilt-trip to get their kids to finish their peas and carrots.

I’m coming from a different place with this; not as a manipulation or a guilt-trip, but rather, a call to action.

Your choices matter.

When you exercise your freedom and CHOOSE to awaken, to embody, and to choose, you take your power back. And when we all stand in our sovereignty, we stand in solidarity with all sisters (and brothers) who don’t have the same privileges we do.This has more impact and momentum than we may ever truly know.

Now is the time, more than ever, to choose what you desire. To stand up for the causes you care about. To show up for yourself and what matters most to you.

If you are with me…

If you’re ready to ditch the ABC’s that are killing you and choose the ABC’s that will set you free, engage with me. Let me hear your voice by posting a comment below. What are you daring to choose today? www.TheDaringProject.com

Are You Challenged By Being A Succulent Woman In Today’s Barren World?

You’ve made the choice to make pleasure important, yet everywhere you turn, you feel criticized, or worse, shunned for your new found sensual playfulness.

As you explore what it means to express your sensual self more fully, you keep wondering if its actually safe and appropriate to do so.

Since choosing to embrace more of your femininity, you find yourself wondering how to make that work in harmony with being independent, self-sufficient and successful in the world.

You are painfully aware that the more powerful your embodiment of your succulent self is, the more your partner shuts down and shies away.

This tension is natural and an essential part of our blossoming as women. It is the tension created when our old paradigms begin to die in the face of new, emerging possibilities.

Embarking on the journey of being a Succulent Woman is a potent choice that will invite everything that is not congruent with this new choice to emerge.

This is why this choice isn’t frivolous or for the feint of heart, but one that requires us to tap into our courage and dedication to living a fulfilling life.

What does it means to be a Succulent Woman?

Being Succulent isn’t just being sexually open and turned-on, although that does play a part in awakening our own beauty and radiance.

Being Succulent involves saying a full yes to our inherent Erotic Genius™ ​,​ our vulnerable & authentic heart, and our inborn wildness.

It’s our journey back to ourselves.

And back to our elegant dance with life itself.

It is a development and refinement of our sensual/sexual Mastery along with enjoying the maturation journey of open-hearted living.

How this unfolds for each of us is unique, yet asks of us the same commitment: Loving ourselves back into wholeness with delight, grace, and resiliency.

The Challenges Of Succulence

We live in a time where heart-breaking atrocities reside side by side with the unveiling of our most beautiful gifts.

It’s the paradox that can slow us down or even stop us in our tracks.

How dare we have pleasure when there is so much suffering? How dare we not?

Succulence isn’t here to be misused, abused, or sold as a commodity. It is here to rekindle within us the very essence of what it means to be fully alive.

Our succulence can threaten societies who benefit from stripping away the beauty and juiciness out of every living thing, which is why Succulent Living is more essential than ever: We must reclaim what is innately ours.

The Don’ts of Succulence

Succulent women don’t create hierarchy in their body, they understand that every fiber of their existence is precious and vibrantly alive.

We don’t abuse our magnetism in order to manipulate people or situations as we understand that there is a gracious and elegant way of having our needs met in the World.

Furthermore, we don’t abandon ourselves in exchange for external ideals, and if we do, we are quick to return to our own sovereignty.

The Do’s of Succulence

Succulent women live from the inside out, looking inwardly for guidance, inspiration, and turn-on and willingly sharing this radiance outwardly.

We fill ourselves so that what we offer others comes from a place of substance and abundance, rather than depletion and scarcity.

We never betray ourselves for the sake of love, sexuality, safety or belonging as we understand that living a self-betrayed life is like drinking from a poisoned well.

As Succulent women, we take delight in what emerges moment to moment. This capacity not only makes us far more present to what is real, but also makes us powerful change-makers in the World.

That is gorgeous about being a Succulent Woman is for every life-giving choice we make, we then can more generously offer the World the gifts of our innate genius.

If living as a Succulent Woman is something you would like to make into reality, I recommend starting with my book: Emergence of the Sensual Woman.

If you enjoyed this article, please like, share it & leave me your thoughts below in the comment section.

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Delicious Tip: Profound Self-Intimacy

Cultivating our self-intimacy is essential for living a succulent life and for ensuring a life-time of expressed pleasure.

Thankfully, recalibrating our erotic nature can happen through simple, conscious acts that are as ingrained and natural as breathing.

What are they? Here’s a hint: Have you ever noticed how children sleep, sometimes holding their sweet little bodies?

This month’s delicious tip reveals a simple practice that is natural for all of us to do, in fact, some of us may be doing it without even understanding the alchemical magic of it!

If you ever yearn for deeper intimacy in your life, this one tip is crucial to help you nurture intimacy, whether or not you have a partner.

In fact, I feel strongly that this little practice is at the very foundation of reconnection our emotional self with our instinctual/erotic self.

If you enjoyed this video, be sure to like it, share it and to leave me a little note below about how this practice effects you.

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Delicious Tip: Sensual Pelvis

Would you like to unlock more of your libido?

For this month’s delicious tip, I will share with you a fun way of unleashing more aliveness in your body!

In fact, when this exercise was given to seniors, it was found that after only 1 week of practice, the seniors reported a renewed vigor and turn-on!!

Plus, it’s super fun to do! In fact, I encourage you to really get creative with this one!

Unleash the delicious energy of your pelvis.

This will awaken your digestion, pelvis, genitals, lower back and give you more pleasure during sex, childbirth, and life in general.

If this video was fun for you, please like it, share it and let me know what happened as you explored this month’s tip on your sensual pelvis.

Note: All comments left below are hosted on my site, not on YouTube.

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Live Interview: Our Innate Erotic Genius & Its Evolutionary Impact

On a rare occasion, one of the interviews I do for a summit is released publicly.

Lisa Schraeder from the Shakti Summit has agreed to let our interview be public.

In this interview I reveal my thoughts about our inborn Erotic Genius and how attuning ourselves to it can have a strong evolutionary impact on our lives.

Listen to Our Innate Erotic Genius and Its Evolutionary Impact Interview:

I’d love to know what you found most compelling and what resonated the most with you.

Please leave me your comments about it in the comments section below…

This interview is part of the Shakti Summit 2014 an online event that featured world-renowned experts sharing insights and deep wisdom to help you ignite a passionate life overflowing with joy, vitality, sensuality and love. For more information, please visit http://theshaktisummit.com

Erotic Genius:

What Is It And Do We all Have One?

…the gravitational attraction between one naked body and another is but a small reflection of the more ongoing and insistent eros between our body and the earth.”—David Abram

The word Erotic is titillating.

It can make us blush, our hearts beat a little faster, yearn for our lover, or run in the other direction as quickly as possible.

No matter what the case, it is always enlivening, in some form or another.

And that’s the point. Eros, and therefore, the erotic, is at the core of what invigorates life. Without it, it is said the world would be barren.

Yet we live in a world that pretends it isn’t intimately linked to the fabric of life in the most sensual, pleasureful ways imaginable.

Rather we tolerate a world that enslaves our wildness, leaving us with only bland conformity at best and sexploitation-consumerism at worst.

Then add the word Genius into the mix and things gets confusing.

What does our Genius have to do with our Erotic nature?

“In ancient Rome, our genius was [originally] known as the individual instance of a universal (non-specific) divine nature that is present in everyone [and everything]. It was considered to be the guiding spirit of a person. By the time of Augustus, the word began to acquire its secondary meaning of “inspiration, talent.” —Wikipedia

Our Erotic Genius is our guiding essence which is directly linked to enlivening us.

To the external world, it’s perceived and received as a form of our inspiration and talent.

Yet internally, it’s the part of us that irrevocably connects us intimately with life itself.

It’s sole purpose is to fuel us with enough ingenuity, talent and gusto so that we may birth our gifts into the world shamelessly.

And yes, we all possess this unassuming current that is literally giving us both the juice and the guidance to thrive day in and day out.

So why is that that few of us tap into this natural resource, only briefly glimpsing its grace in random ‘Ah-ha’ moments or moments of pleasure so intense all we can do is cry?

What Does It Have To Do With Sex?

Everything. And nothing.

This is where things get interesting.

We are sexual beings, there’s no getting around it, no matter how hard some of us may try.

It doesn’t matter what we look like, how successful we are or not, whether we are partnered or not, whether we love sex or hate it, our Erotic Genius™ cares not for such things.

It is concerned only with keeping us alive and purring, if we will let it.

So let me say this again: You are a sexual being, but you’ve forgotten that.

This means whether or not we ‘do’ something about our sexuality, we still innately are running this life-enhancing current.

Sometimes its turned down to a mere trickle, leaving us imagining that we are numb or dead to pleasure.

Sometimes its turned up so intensely it may feel like our very body cannot sustain the force of such profound pleasure.

And this happens whether or not we engage in the act of sex.

The truth is, when we do consciously engage in the act of sex and allow our own Erotic Genius™ the freedom to lead, we come back home to ourselves.

We reclaim the sacred from the profane.

We reclaim our birthright.

The 5 Levels Of Erotic Genius

Eroticism reveals to us another world, inside this world. The senses become servants of the imagination, and let us see the invisible and hear the inaudible. —Octavio Paz

So what does this mean for us in our day to day lives?

Just as our body, emotions, mind, and spirit have a natural maturity process, so does our sexuality.

There are 5 distinct levels to our the sexual evolution:

Level 1: Erotic Innocence

This is from pre-birth to puberty.

It’s how we discover our body & get oriented to the World. We literally make sense of the World through our sensuality.

This level is influenced by our parents/siblings/caregivers.

Level 2: Erotic Activation

This is puberty.

It’s where we get familiar with the potency of our sexuality and where we are subject to strong hormonal impulses.

At this stage, we’re strongly influenced by friends, media, & our community.

Level 3: Erotic Exploration

This is where we ‘do’ sex.

We start to explore what is possible, what we like and don’t like.

Learning the ‘how-tos’ of sex & relating.

We are influenced by experts, books, & media, “mainstream” accessible sex education.

Level 4: Erotic Expansion

This is where we heal the schism between psyche with our sexuality.

We explore heart-centered, meditative sexuality along with our erotic edges.

We model ourselves with existing ‘matrices’.

In this we are influenced by established ‘alternative’ sex ed. books, teachers & schools.

Level 5: Erotic Wisdom

This is where we are ‘sexual BE-ings’, where our sexuality is no longer confined to genital activation, it becomes cellular.

We experience deep, sexual gnosis.

We become Omni-Orgasmic—activated in full body and by life itself.

Here we are self-generated, self-created, self-validated, and self-referenced.

Integrated Sexuality

Consider each of these levels as necessary as the next, if we miss one, we’ll inevitably return to it in order to cultivate an integrated sexuality.

The problem is when we attempt to abide to a pre-ordained ‘right timing’ for each level, making any reenactment seem ‘out of place’ when done ‘out of schedule’.

Yet these levels are not hierarchical, but dynamic and cyclical. In truth, we born Omni- orgasmic and our life journey is about returning to this inherent state while enjoying exploring the gifts of each level from new-found perspectives.

In a World where the erotic is pre-fabricated, pre-packaged, and pre-determined, where there’s disturbingly no time given to cultivating our relationship with this aspect of ourselves, we find little recognition of the true nature of Eros as a liaison between our biology and the Earth herself.

Now, more than any other time in history, our evolutionary journey is in our hands.

Each step we take, we have the choice to listen to and align with our innate Erotic Genius.

This is not an act of frivolousness, but a revolutionary act of courage wherein we each ignite ourselves and live true to our full potential, discovering the profound wisdom that lives within our erotic nature.

If you’d love to explore your own inborn Erotic Genius, I recommend starting with my book: Emergence of the Sensual Woman

I would love to hear from you, so please leave me your comments below. If you enjoyed this article, please like, share it, & be sure to join the Succulence Revolution (you’ll see the sign-up boxes).