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The ABCs That Kill

It’s become an epidemic…

As Western women, we have the power to choose. But so many women – too many women – are choosing not to choose.

They’re bored, overwhelmed or numbed out. They’re moving through life on auto-pilot, favoring safety over freedom. They’re behaving like they don’t matter; like their voices don’t matter; like their choices don’t have an impact.

That’s what cracked my heart open today: realizing the impact of free women who are NOT choosing their sovereignty every day.

There are women in other parts of the world who get stoned, shot at, ostracized or beaten for getting caught doing something as innocent as learning the ABC’s. Their hunger to learn how to read and write is never satiated. They’re made wrong for their desires. They don’t have the freedom to choose what they want.

As Western women, we have the privilege of choice. We have the freedom to learn how to read and write; to love who we love; to travel wherever we wish without a male escort; to wear what we desire; to start our own business or family when we want, if we want to; to do what we want when we want.

Yet there is another set of ABC’s that are killing us. These ABC’s aren’t the ones Malala got shot at by the Taliban for. But they carry their own dangers for us Western Women.

What are the ABC’s I’m referring to?

A = Apathy

B = Brokenness

C = Criticism

APATHY

If we’re not choosing, we’re choosing apathy.

Sure, apathy blocks out the poverty, inequality, abuse and tragedies of the world. But it also suppresses our deep caring and ability to heal. It builds a wall around our own genius so we can never fully access, let alone share, our gifts with the world.

Apathy deadens our senses, our capacity to feel pleasure and desire. We end up as empty shells, moving through life on auto-pilot, choosing safety and apathy over freedom and desire.

Apathy is a cop-out. It’s a way of avoiding the power and privilege that we Western Women have. The biggest danger of apathy is that it kills us before we’re even dead.

BROKENNESS

So many women – too many women – make the mistake of believing they are broken. They buy into the cultural training that they shouldn’t age, they shouldn’t gain weight, that they are too much or not enough, and that at their core, they are bad and wrong.

Women then spend their money on anti-aging products and practices; they invest their energy in diets, exercise regimes and trainings with authorities who supposedly know more than they do on how they should be and what they should do to be a “good” woman.

It is so sad to me that this culture of free women gives away our power to try and fix ourselves.

But the truth is, the more you think you’re anything less than perfect, the more you are wasting your life.

You are not broken. Quit trying to fix yourself.

CRITICISM

Take a moment to consider what your internal dialogue has sounded like over the last few hours.

Did you hear an inner voice saying things like, “I’m so beautiful!” And, “Oh, that croissant was so delicious. I’m so glad I chose to have it with extra butter.” And, “I did such a great job with that presentation. I showed up with confidence and handled their concerns brilliantly.”

Chances are, if you’re like the tens of thousands of women I’ve talked with over the years, your inner voice isn’t that kind. Instead, you may have heard an inner voice making comments like, “Oh my gosh! Is that another age spot?” And, “I can’t believe I ate that croissant. And with extra butter? I’m such a pig.” And, “What are they thinking of me now? I can’t believe I made that mistake with my presentation. I really messed that up.”

We as Western Women kill ourselves with criticism. With comparing ourselves to others and their expectations and judgments of us. We get so lost in the stories our inner unkind voice tells us that we lose sight of what is really important and what really matters to us.

How can you show up and be the greatness you truly are when you’re cutting yourself down with criticism?

‘Cause the truth is, you are great.

You are born to step into your greatness alongside all other great beings.

But if you keep letting Apathy, Brokenness and Criticism be your rulers, you will never know the power and possibilities of your sovereignty. You will never know the joy and pleasure of your freedom.

That’s why I invite you… I DARE you… to ditch those ABC’s and choose another, more empowering set of ABC’s that will change everything. These are the building blocks to a whole different way of living.

The ABCs that will set you free:

A = AWAKEN

B = (EM)BODY

C = CHOOSE

AWAKEN

The freedom that we have as Western Women comes with a responsibility: to awaken to our privilege and USE IT to create the kind of world we desire to live in.

Responsibility does NOT mean obligation, being a martyr, or getting hooked on some savior complex. What it DOES mean is taking responsibility for yourself and your gifts and using them to create more for yourself and for everyone.

Many women make the mistake, too, of thinking that when they awaken they will be overwhelmed with the pain of this world; they will feel all the needs and tugs for their attention; they will drown in the sea of sorrow and burn with rage. Dear one, I get it. Believe me, I really do.

It can be challenging to feel it all, to be with all the pain of this world. Yet you don’t have to remain in the pain or drown in it. Allow it all to crack your heart open to more of your caring, to the depths and beauty of our humanity, and ultimately, to the depth and breadth of your own extraordinariness.

Apathy is living in black and white. Awakening is living in technicolor. What do you really desire?

We can NOT afford to fall asleep. We can NOT afford the costs of apathy.

We also can NOT wait for someone – anyone – else to give us permission to awaken to our power and privileges.

Do not wait for your spouse, your partner, your father, your mother, your governor, or your president to give you permission to awaken from the domestication and trance that we’ve been trained to live by all our lives.

That day, and that permission, will never come. And even if it does, it is worthless until YOU give YOURSELF permission to awaken fully to your daring, desiring self.

No more waiting. It’s time to give yourself permission to AWAKEN.

(EM)BODY

When you embody, you come home to yourself. You stop believing you are broken and need fixing. You inhabit your sovereign ground and claim your right to be here.

How can you ever create what you desire if you’re not embodying your beautiful self and your life?

How can the world show up for you when you’re not showing up for yourself?

You’re either embodying or you’re abandoning yourself. Which will it be?

We need you in your body, loving your body and expressing all the truth and wisdom that lives inside. That is what will change the world.

When you are embodied, you are a force of nature. (Click to Tweet)

Your beauty and grace, your joy and pleasure, and everything else that is YOU is essential. The fullness of you is essential. So bring it on!

CHOOSE

You’re either exercising your freedom to choose – choose your partner, your business, your wardrobe, your lifestyle, your food, your desires – and claiming your power, or you’re not choosing and giving your power away. It’s really that simple and powerful.

Sovereignty is our birthright, but you must choose it.

So many women do not have the capacity to choose. They run the risk of getting killed or imprisoned if they choose to love someone of the same gender or get educated or leave the house without covering their head (let alone their entire body).

Now, I know there are parents out there who say to their children, “Eat what’s on your plate! There are children in Africa who are starving.” They use this truth as a manipulation, a bit of a guilt-trip to get their kids to finish their peas and carrots.

I’m coming from a different place with this; not as a manipulation or a guilt-trip, but rather, a call to action.

Your choices matter.

When you exercise your freedom and CHOOSE to awaken, to embody, and to choose, you take your power back. And when we all stand in our sovereignty, we stand in solidarity with all sisters (and brothers) who don’t have the same privileges we do.This has more impact and momentum than we may ever truly know.

Now is the time, more than ever, to choose what you desire. To stand up for the causes you care about. To show up for yourself and what matters most to you.

If you are with me…

If you’re ready to ditch the ABC’s that are killing you and choose the ABC’s that will set you free, engage with me. Let me hear your voice by posting a comment below. What are you daring to choose today? www.TheDaringProject.com

Jade Egg Mastery – It’s Not Just About How Much Weight You Can Lift

Are you curious about the Jade Egg practice?

Have you wondered what it’s all about or how to actually, step-by-step learn how to masterfully use a Jade Egg?

Maybe you’ve heard that the Jade Egg can transform all of your emotional wounds and sexual inhibitions, leaving you with lasting sexual confidence?

Or perhaps you’ve been seduced into believing that having a ‘super-pussy’ through lifting weights with your vagina will ensure better orgasms and keep your lover loyal?

Or believe that through the power of your vagina alone you’ll able to control your man’s ejaculation?

If any of these apply to you, then you are part of the emerging mass interest in the Jade Egg practice.

This means you’ve also been absorbing the wide-spread, inappropriate instruction about the jade Egg along with many other false promises and potentially harmful practices.

But don’t worry, this isn’t your fault.

In fact, it’s rather a common phenomena when a deep ancient practice is introduced to our give-me-a-quick-solution modern society: there will always be a loss of integrity and depth.

Over the past 20 years of personal and professional practice, I’ve experienced a profound evolution in my own understanding of the Jade Egg practice and it’s impact on women.

In fact, not only did I learn what worked and didn’t work through receiving direct feedback of from tens of thousands of women world-wide, but I also did a pilot study examining and measuring the effects of the Jade Egg practice on the psycho-sexual health of women for my PhD dissertation.

The results of my study in combination with considering the latest, cutting-edge scientific research on sexuality resulted in a major overhaul of the original teachings so that they could better suit the true needs of modern women and lead to lasting, life-long results.

A key insight that emerged, one that lies at the foundation of my method, is that we are psycho-sexual beings and deserve to ignite the totality of our sensual/sexual nature, not just be obsessed with ‘vagina power’ alone.

We are not just our genitals, our sexuality and sensuality includes the totality of who we are.

Your sexuality and sensuality not a currency or commodity meant to be used in exchange of whatever it is you desire more of in your life.

It is your birthright. A natural, powerful, life-giving part of who you innately are as woman.

To attempt to squeeze the vastness of your femininity into the tiny box of ‘goal-oriented’ techniques and ideals is to impoverish your experience of your own pleasure.

To limit your sexuality to how much weight you can lift with your vagina or how many vaginal tricks you can do is like saying that to drive a car all you need to do is push or turn all the buttons and dials on your dashboard.

It’s sensationalist and immature.

The good news is, more and more of women are waking up and coming back home to themselves, discerning the gold from the hype, and claiming for themselves the living wisdom of their beautiful body.

If you’d love to learn more about how to master the Jade Egg practice, ignite your own unique erotic intelligence and to cultivate wholeness and profound sexual vitality and pleasure, you may want to check out my current invitation to do a LIVE intensive with me: CLICK TO DISCOVER MORE ABOUT JADE EGG MASTERY

 

 

Are You Challenged By Being A Succulent Woman In Today’s Barren World?

You’ve made the choice to make pleasure important, yet everywhere you turn, you feel criticized, or worse, shunned for your new found sensual playfulness.

As you explore what it means to express your sensual self more fully, you keep wondering if its actually safe and appropriate to do so.

Since choosing to embrace more of your femininity, you find yourself wondering how to make that work in harmony with being independent, self-sufficient and successful in the world.

You are painfully aware that the more powerful your embodiment of your succulent self is, the more your partner shuts down and shies away.

This tension is natural and an essential part of our blossoming as women. It is the tension created when our old paradigms begin to die in the face of new, emerging possibilities.

Embarking on the journey of being a Succulent Woman is a potent choice that will invite everything that is not congruent with this new choice to emerge.

This is why this choice isn’t frivolous or for the feint of heart, but one that requires us to tap into our courage and dedication to living a fulfilling life.

What does it means to be a Succulent Woman?

Being Succulent isn’t just being sexually open and turned-on, although that does play a part in awakening our own beauty and radiance.

Being Succulent involves saying a full yes to our inherent Erotic Genius™ ​,​ our vulnerable & authentic heart, and our inborn wildness.

It’s our journey back to ourselves.

And back to our elegant dance with life itself.

It is a development and refinement of our sensual/sexual Mastery along with enjoying the maturation journey of open-hearted living.

How this unfolds for each of us is unique, yet asks of us the same commitment: Loving ourselves back into wholeness with delight, grace, and resiliency.

The Challenges Of Succulence

We live in a time where heart-breaking atrocities reside side by side with the unveiling of our most beautiful gifts.

It’s the paradox that can slow us down or even stop us in our tracks.

How dare we have pleasure when there is so much suffering? How dare we not?

Succulence isn’t here to be misused, abused, or sold as a commodity. It is here to rekindle within us the very essence of what it means to be fully alive.

Our succulence can threaten societies who benefit from stripping away the beauty and juiciness out of every living thing, which is why Succulent Living is more essential than ever: We must reclaim what is innately ours.

The Don’ts of Succulence

Succulent women don’t create hierarchy in their body, they understand that every fiber of their existence is precious and vibrantly alive.

We don’t abuse our magnetism in order to manipulate people or situations as we understand that there is a gracious and elegant way of having our needs met in the World.

Furthermore, we don’t abandon ourselves in exchange for external ideals, and if we do, we are quick to return to our own sovereignty.

The Do’s of Succulence

Succulent women live from the inside out, looking inwardly for guidance, inspiration, and turn-on and willingly sharing this radiance outwardly.

We fill ourselves so that what we offer others comes from a place of substance and abundance, rather than depletion and scarcity.

We never betray ourselves for the sake of love, sexuality, safety or belonging as we understand that living a self-betrayed life is like drinking from a poisoned well.

As Succulent women, we take delight in what emerges moment to moment. This capacity not only makes us far more present to what is real, but also makes us powerful change-makers in the World.

That is gorgeous about being a Succulent Woman is for every life-giving choice we make, we then can more generously offer the World the gifts of our innate genius.

If living as a Succulent Woman is something you would like to make into reality, I recommend starting with my book: Emergence of the Sensual Woman.

If you enjoyed this article, please like, share it & leave me your thoughts below in the comment section.

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To K-Goal or not to K-Goal…

Are Vaginal Apps & The “Skea” Video Game The Future?

As a lover of all things that bring women more pleasure, self-love, and a renewed passion for life, I’m always curious about new fads and tools for sexual empowerment.

There are two new emerging trends have grabbed my attention: the kGoal & the Skea video game.

The kGoal is a small device that a woman inserts in her vagina in order to train her PC muscle (aka the sex muscle). It is linked to her iPhone through an APP that let’s her know how well she is doing while also tracking her progress as the weeks and months go by.

The Skea video game is similar to the kGoal, only it interfaces with a video game called “Alice in Continent” (pardon me?!).

Now upon first look, these ideas are rather exciting! More funky APPs to make our lives more efficient while encouraging us to get much needed exercise for our pelvic floor.

But this is where the magic ends for me.

First of all, this reeks of a purely functional approach to our sexuality, leaving out the essential deeper meaning or purpose of having an erotic nature.

Whenever we do this, we instantly transform our vibrant sensual/sexual self into a commodity or currency.

This degrades our erotic intelligence and moves us further and further away from cultivating our erotic genius—literally alienating ourselves from ourselves.

Secondly, these devices covertly create yet another standard that a woman has to live up to. We are already bombarded with having the “right size & shape” of breasts, waists, hips, thighs, and yes, even labia!

Add to the mix the fact that we have to constantly contend with how much sex is the ‘sexy’ amount to have while juggling all the various styles and combinations of sex a ‘sexually liberated’ woman “should be” versed in.

Never mind that we simultaneously must maintain the success of our careers, families, and friendships.

This leaves us with a massive ‘to do’ list inclusive of “sexy dates” to insure we actually get to do whatever latest and greatest exercise we must do in order to stay with the latest pleasure trends.

Exhausting… and not very sexy.

My biggest pet peeve, however, is with the overtly intellectual and functional approach to female sexuality.

Singular focus on excessively toning one group of muscles (like the PC muscle) can result in the too much pelvic tension which can lead to forming scar tissue or pinching vital ‘pleasure nerves’.

As much as I’d love to celebrate kGoal & the Skea video game as a way to inspire women to take more care of their sensual selves, I fear that it is yet another burden and incomplete program that will leave women frustrated and possibly even anorgasmic!

The inventors of these modern ‘feminine’ devices obviously have great intention, but unfortunately reveal their limited understanding of the complex and profound nature of female sexuality.

As women, the journey to claiming our full sensual/sexual self is precarious and loaded with dogma, memes, and commercialized propaganda.

And although it is essential that we care for our beautiful bodies and sexual organs, doing so at the cost of losing our own intimate connection with ourselves is too high a price to pay.

It’s my desire that we step out of this insipid and limited viewpoint on female sexuality and enter a more profound and inspired relationship with ourselves.

Through regarding our body as an erotically intelligent creature who loves to exercise as well as to deeply melt open and surrender to the beauty of life, we recognize that our sexual self isn’t just another currency to trade with, but a profoundly alive ‘sexual being’.

If reconnecting with your own erotic intelligence is inspiring, I recommend starting with reading by book, The Emergence Of The Sensual Woman.

I value your insights on the evolution of our sensual/sexual selves, so please do leave me your thoughts in the comment section so we can deepen this conversation.

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Delicious Tip: Sensual Pelvis

Would you like to unlock more of your libido?

For this month’s delicious tip, I will share with you a fun way of unleashing more aliveness in your body!

In fact, when this exercise was given to seniors, it was found that after only 1 week of practice, the seniors reported a renewed vigor and turn-on!!

Plus, it’s super fun to do! In fact, I encourage you to really get creative with this one!

Unleash the delicious energy of your pelvis.

This will awaken your digestion, pelvis, genitals, lower back and give you more pleasure during sex, childbirth, and life in general.

If this video was fun for you, please like it, share it and let me know what happened as you explored this month’s tip on your sensual pelvis.

Note: All comments left below are hosted on my site, not on YouTube.

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Live Interview: Our Innate Erotic Genius & Its Evolutionary Impact

On a rare occasion, one of the interviews I do for a summit is released publicly.

Lisa Schraeder from the Shakti Summit has agreed to let our interview be public.

In this interview I reveal my thoughts about our inborn Erotic Genius and how attuning ourselves to it can have a strong evolutionary impact on our lives.

Listen to Our Innate Erotic Genius and Its Evolutionary Impact Interview:

I’d love to know what you found most compelling and what resonated the most with you.

Please leave me your comments about it in the comments section below…

This interview is part of the Shakti Summit 2014 an online event that featured world-renowned experts sharing insights and deep wisdom to help you ignite a passionate life overflowing with joy, vitality, sensuality and love. For more information, please visit http://theshaktisummit.com