Spiritual Sex: Why Women Search For It & Don’t Find It

You know, deep down, there has got to be ‘more’ to sex than what you are currently living.

In fact, you no longer want to have sex unless it’s spiritual, yet the men you meet all seem clueless to this superior sexual state.

Intrigued by the possibility of experiencing an exquisite and refined sexual state, you realize that you have no idea how to get there.

Investigating both Tantric and Taoist sexual teachings, you find yourself wondering when the promised “Spiritual orgasm” will propel you out of boredom.

What is Spiritual Sex?

For some of us, it means a connection between Spirituality and Sexuality.

For others, it is slowing things down and meditating together.

And still for others, it is an aloof state whose promises sound intriguing, yet the practice to get there is unattractive.

Yet what if it had nothing to do with praying, ritual, or exotic sexual positions?

What if spiritual sex was a misnomer for a state of being that is natural to all people?

Perhaps our yearning to experience an union between spirituality and sexuality is the same yearning we have for experiencing ‘oneness’.

By taking our fragmented parts and reuniting them we experience the deep pleasure of wholeness.

Wholeness. Holiness.

Consider what we are really saying when we want to have a Spiritual Lover.

When we examine Spirituality, the end result of most Spiritual paths is the loss of desire and the permanent state of celibacy.

A spiritual lover—a person tuned into subtle sensations that move in their body—may or may not always be aware that we are there with them.

This seems to me that such a lover would be preoccupied with themselves and not as attentive as we may desire.

In truth, I sense we are looking for consciousness.

For a lover that is present and awake, and who has the ability to be attentive and sensitive to our body.

We yearn for things to slow down and we yearn for orgasms that reach beyond our pelvis into the realms of supernatural ecstasy.

But the greatest motivator for seeking spiritual sex is not what we think.

Somewhere, deep down, we believe sex is bad, dirty, or even harmful.

And the only way to consolidate our desire is to make it okay by saying it is spiritual. We want to make sex pristine, pure, and beautiful.

But no amount of ritual can transform sexuality from its primal impulses into an ‘out-of-body-connected-to-spirit’ experience.

This is why, time and time again, we are seduced by the ‘spiritual lingo’ used to get us into bed.

The worse part is not that someone pulled one over. It’s that we chose to believe their poetic words and blindly jumped into a sexual encounter.

Result: Dissatisfaction.

Feeling used. And confirmation that sex is bad and where are all the spiritual men anyway?

If spiritual sex doesn’t exist, then what?!

The experience of ‘transcendent sex’—sex that is beyond just the normal realm of the physical—is more common than we think.

In fact, every human being has within them the door to accessing their own deep consciousness. Many of us can actually access this without any formal practice.

Here is the kicker: Our unconsciousness makes sex profane or fragmented.

It is our consciousness, our ability to be deeply aware, that makes sex sacred.

Sexuality and spirituality are natural parts of who we are. Through awakening our awareness and bringing it into our erotic play, we make all erotic expressions sacred.

We are simultaneously sexual and spiritual. How can we not be?

Do we leave our genitals on the bedside table when leaving for work? They come with us no matter where we go and what we are doing!

The same goes for our consciousness, whether or not we recognize it, it is always with us, being witness to our life.

Before we throw up our hands and give up, consider the following:

  • We are innately hard-wired for transcendent sex.
  • The pressure to create a ‘spiritual’ sexual experience makes it more difficult if not impossible to experience.
  • By choosing to be with what is real and in the moment, we invite our erotic nature to be imbued with deep consciousness.
  • Awakened sexual experiences can happen whether or not our partner is experiencing the same state. In other words, experiencing sacred or spiritual sex doesn’t require both people to have the same experience.

Spiritual sex is our birthright.

By simply learning to be more present, more connected with ourselves, and more willing to let go of knowing what is suppose to happen, we can relax and enjoy what is actually happening, whether or not the angels are singing!

To be deep, conscious sex requires us to live a deep, conscious life. There is no separation between what happens in the bedroom and what happens on a daily basis.

Does the idea of waking up and enjoying the amazing subtle nuances of your erotic energy feel like something worthy of your time? A great place to start is with my book.

Secrets To Our Turn-on:

How Our Female Cycle & Brain Rhythms Affect Our Libido.

One moment you are so horny that even the furniture looks exciting and you start doing a lap-dance for your couch.

In the next days, you are bursting with irritability and wish the world would go away and stop demanding of your time and energy.

Yet at times, nothing could be more delicious than silky PJs and a snuggle while watching a great movie.

And at its worse, you are depressed and feel horribly fat and unattractive, wondering why your partner is still interested in you.

Are you psychotic?! No, you are female.

And as women, we are ever-changing, unpredictable, and exquisitely linked to the ebb and flow of our hormones.

Those who love us, revel in these shifts, while other runs for the hills.

Discovering Our Pleasure Gears

As much as we do not enjoy our body being referred to as cars, our hormones actually behave a little like a gear shift.

We have a high and low gear, as well as neutral and reverse.

High gear is our testosterone. This is when we are more aggressive, outgoing and go for what we want.

Low gear is estrogen combined with oxytocin and represents our proceptive  or seductive nature. Here we are more alluring and coy, the ‘come hither and claim me’ version of ourselves.

Neutral is estrogen on its own and it is, well, neutral. We can ‘take it or leave’ albeit sex, affection, socializing, etc.

Reverse is a mix of progesterone, prolactin, vasopressin, and serotonin. This literally can make us go in reverse and shut-down any of our desire and our ability to seduce and attract. It is our ‘leave me be or suffer the consequences’ gear.

Through understanding and navigating our hormonal peaks and valleys, we create more ease both for ourselves and those around us.

Girl Brain – Boy Brain?!?

But it doesn’t end there (if that was not already enough!).

Our cycles are not only fluctuate between hormones, but also the two hemispheres of our brain!

The ‘Blooming Phase’ is a time of the month where we are more in our left brain and more rational and focused.

While, in the ‘Cocooning Phase’ time of the month, we are in our right brain and emotional and intuitive.

Forcing ourselves to stay in our left brain for the entire month, we literally expect ourselves to be constantly focused and rational.

When we refuse to explore our right brain and constantly ignore our deeper emotional and intuitive signals, we disrupt Natures way of creating an exquisitely balanced and expressed life!

Only looking at the bright side of life, we cut ourselves off from invitations to develop our insight and consciousness.

Our ‘Cocooning Phase’—when we move away from outside stressors and retreat inwardly—is not something we often value or are comfortable with.

While most of us are pros at our ‘Blooming Phase’. As this is when we have the most beauty, aliveness, and enthusiasm for things outside of us.

Yet it is vital to our well-being.

When we forget to respect our natural rhythms or cycles, we start to directly compromise our system.

Continuing to do so, day in and day out, our body will eventually rebel and gift us with an imbalance such as obesity, chronic fatigue, and other issues.

We need to go in.

To take the time to be honest with ourselves and to discern what is no longer working in our life.

It is also a time to acknowledge and birth our deeper calling.

Do you know your deeper calling? 

Turn-on, believe it or not, is not just hormonal or part of our brain-waves. It is also living a life of deeper meaning.

If our sole meaning is our relationship or our kids or our job, we may feel like our passion, our umph for life has kicked of its dance shoes and retired.

Yet inside each of us is a deeper passion.

Something, if acknowledged, would reignite us and flush our cheeks with rosy enthusiasm.

Our deeper calling.

No matter what age we are, it is never too early or too late to tune into the source of our own passion.

The beauty is that it is calling us, day in and day out. Whispering to us through silent yearnings and screaming fits of emotion.

We would find not only a renewed sense of purpose, we would also notice that our hormones jig to the tune of succulence.

If we would only listen… and then act.

Discovering our cyclical nature and living with deep alignment to our own inner truth and inspiration is part of my core message.

Start to uncover your own cyclical wisdom and living a passionately inspired and juicy life!

The time is now.

If it feels delicious to explore this concept of your cyclical nature, you may enjoy my book: The Emergence of The Sensual WomanBe sure to put your name and email address below and join thousands of like-minded women in revolutionizing your sensual self today.