Are you prepared for your client's #MeToo Story?

Your Client’s #MeToo Story – Are You Prepared?

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With the rise and empowerment of women’s voices comes a shadow: the emergence of pain, anger, fear, confusion and numbness.

Our clients trust us. Implicitly. Therefore it’s natural that we may be the first place where their voice comes forward. How prepared are we for this vulnerable and edgy conversation?

As a professional who is dedicated to the full transformation of our clients, we are in an incredible position to assist women through this powerful time, yet few feel equipped and/or comfortable at having these important, yet intensely edgy conversations.

How we handle these stories will keep a woman in her trauma cycle or will create a pattern interruption that will support her to find her own way through her reclamation journey.

No Psycho-Sexual Training

Although many ​are not qualified to take ​a woman ​on this reclamation journey, we can still be their first responders. How we handle those first few moments are crucial to the success of this reclamation journey; so we want to keep in mind that at the heart of this issue is trust: broken trust, that is.

When trauma of this nature has occurred, ​a ​woman no longer trusts her own relationship with
​her body, never mind other people. This is why it’s so crucial ​she begin​s​ with ​her own body.

Few have methodologies that assist this specifically, however, we can gently inspire a woman to contemplate this idea: her fastest path to wholeness is through returning to herself and her body.

That said, there are a few things we are all capable of offering. Here are three simple, yet potent concepts can we take to impeccably show up for our clients without contributing to the trauma:

1. We transform through who we are, not what we say. This first concept is about doing our own inner work around our pain, grief, anger and confusion. Who we are impacts more than anything we could ever say, this is why our ‘felt-state’, who we are deep inside, has such profound impact on our clients.

The more we can allow ourselves to feel these states and choose to love ourselves no matter how ugly these states may be, the more powerful we demonstrate this possibility through our presence (this happens through a powerful process known as limbic re-imprinting).

2. We are powerful, they are powerful. The second concept is more of a definition that we take on as truth. In situations where there’s been victimization, it’s easy to collude with the pain and forget that there’s a powerful person going through a painful experience.

By taking on that you are powerful, and therefore, your clients are powerful, allows them to get a feel for this, perhaps even for the first time. They literally get a sense that ‘they have this’, even if it will be a challenging time – they have what it takes to experience full reclamation.

3. Our greatest wound is our greatest source of power. This third concept is a recognition, a deeper inner knowing. If, as a person, you have not yet come to this realization, it is a worthy contemplation. When this becomes TRUE for you, you’ll be able to hold this as an honest possibility for your clients. This is one of the most powerful ideas in shifting from trauma to thriving.

To be prepared, to be willing to go where few have gone, is the reason our clients trust us and open up to us. Although these conversations can be scary, we can relax in knowing that we’re listening with the knowledge that she’s powerful, that healing is possible, and that sometimes just having someone listen without trying to rescue or fix can be just as powerful, if not more so, than any fancy technique.
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To learn more about how to support your clients through these conversations, join my FREE TRAINING ​for Women Professionals… ​3 Life-Transforming Ways To Support Your Clients Post #MeToo

#NowWhat – The Crossroads of the #MeToo Movement

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Since the rise of the #MeToo movement, we find ourselves at a crossroads and what YOU choose will impact the outcome.

Find out why YOUR Sexual Sovereignty is crucial in changing the world.

Your Story Matters. Your Voice Matters. You Matter.

Join our growing movement: www.TheDaringProject.com

5 Steps to Redefining Beauty and Revolutionizing Resolutions

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Every single day we are barraged with intense programming from the media, from our families, even from our girlfriends, about what we should look like.

These external standards of beauty are ridiculous! Yet we do what we can to try to fit into them, to try to create the ideal body.

We diet. We do intense workouts. We starve ourselves or binge and purge. We pop pills. (What have you done to try to create the ideal body? Or perhaps the better question is, what haven’t you done to try to create the ideal body?)

We internalize those definitions of what beauty is supposed to be and never measure up.

And then what do we do?

We make ourselves wrong for falling short of these external definitions of beauty. We criticize ourselves. We judge ourselves. We set New Year’s Resolutions with a commitment to lose the extra weight or get back into the gym or other goals that are focused on fitting into someone else’s definition of beauty.

We buy into the lie that we are flawed. That we are imperfect. That there is something wrong with us.

Well, I’m here to tell you this is bullshit!

It’s time to stop the madness and throw out the old standards of beauty.

There is another way to be a woman in this world…

There is another way to recognize and embrace your unique beauty…

It involves redefining beauty on your terms and choosing new kinds of resolutions that are revolutionary in a world that wants to make you be something you’re not.

You ready for this?

Let’s do it…

STEP 1: Identify Your Limited Definition Of Yourself

When we allow external standards of beauty to define us, we ultimately don’t measure up. How can we ever achieve the ideal unrealistic body? As a result, we walk around with a limiting thought about ourselves.

Most women, when I ask them what is the biggest limiting thought they have of themselves, are quick to answer:

“I’m not beautiful enough.”

“I’m not perfect enough.”

“I’m not enough.”

“I’m too much.”

What is the limited definition you have of yourself? Write it down or say it out loud.

These definitions are very harmful! And they end up defining our reality. We invest our life force into a definition about ourselves that holds us back from seeing and being the beautiful wild creatures that we are. These judgments also stop us from creating the lives we really truly desire to have.

The first step to breaking free of these definitions is to identify and name them. You have started to reclaim your power with this step… but you must keep going…

STEP 2: Notice How This Limited Definition Feels In Your Body

Say the limited definition you have of yourself out loud (again).

  • What do you notice is happening in your body when you say these words?
  • What goes on in your body when you feel this negative definition to be true in your mind, body and heart?
  • See the connection between the limited definition and how you feel in your body?

Our definitions of ourselves literally define our reality. How can you feel lit up, alive, sexy and beautiful when you’re continually telling yourself you’re not enough and you’re not beautiful?

That’s why it’s time to take the next step…

STEP 3: Redefine Beauty On Your Terms

Now you get to create a new definition for yourself about beauty.

  • How do you wish to feel about yourself?
  • How do you desire to feel in your body?
  • How do you experience yourself when you’re out in nature or soaking in a luscious hot bath? (These experiences give you clues about your true self!)

Tune into your responses to these questions and, from a place of power, consider, what is true for you? How would you like to redefine beauty for yourself?

Here are some redefinitions of beauty that clients of mine created:

“I am radiant and deeply alive.”

“I am wildly alive.”

“I am connected and whole.”

“I am happy, embodied and loving my delicious curves.”

What is your redefinition of beauty? Write it down or say it out loud.

STEP 4: Notice How This Redefinition Of Beauty Feels In Your Body

We are flipping things around! Now say your redefinition of beauty out loud (again).

  • What do you notice is happening in your body when you say these words?
  • What goes on in your body when you feel claim this definition to be true in your mind, body and heart?
  • See the connection between the more expansive, truer definition and how you feel in your body?

As I said above, our definitions of ourselves literally define our reality. Imagine moving through your days in the New Year with your redefinition of beauty as your affirmation, your anchor, your reference point for what true beauty is for YOU. How might your life be different?

That’s why we’re going to take this exercise one more step to really support you in embodying your new definition of beauty…

STEP 5: Revolutionize Your Resolutions With Your Redefinition Of Beauty

I dare you to create a revolutionary intention for 2018. How?

Take your redefinition of beauty and turn it into a daily practice. This could look many different ways:

  • Say it out loud to yourself while looking in the mirror every morning.
  • Write it down on post-it notes and put them around your house (like on your mirror, computer, on a cupboard you regularly open, even in your car!).
  • Write it in lipstick on your bathroom mirror.
  • Turn it into a song that you sing to yourself.

Get creative with this! After spending decades buying into what others have to say about our bodies and our beauty, it’s time to make your voice and your definitions louder and more powerful than theirs.

That’s why I’m encouraging you to turn this into a daily practice as your new Revolutionary Intention! So you can embody and embrace your beauty more than ever in 2018.

In a world that wants you to feel powerless and at the mercy of external definitions of what you should look like, the act of redefining beauty on your terms is revolutionary.

Do you accept my dare?

If so, share your new definition of beauty with me below, so I can celebrate you with you!! (And if you like, you can also share with me how you’re going to make a revolutionary intention with your new definition of beauty!)

Redefining beauty on our terms is a key step in reclaiming body confidence. Would you like to embody more confidence in the New Year? If so, I invite you to check out my Body Confidence Immersion Training (part of my Sensual Wisdom Series). Click here for more information.

Want to challenge yourself daily?  Join The Daring Project – Click here.

3 Keys To Healing Your Relationship With The Inner Masculine

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The #MeToo posts that swept through social media recently have lifted the conversation of sexual abuse and harassment out of the shadows and into the spotlight.

Along the way, these posts, and the responses to them, revealed something big…

As men came forward and shared their own #metoo posts, acknowledging the abuse they’ve experienced, they got met with anger and criticism.

Some women reacted with, “This is about the women, not you!” and “Who are you to #metoo? You’re the cause of this problem in the first place!”

I’m sorry to say, but these women, while possibly well intentioned and part of the female empowerment movement, have gotten it wrong. Their reaction reflects a huge lack of understanding. We do NOT need to get angry and push away the masculine. That’s the cause of alienation in the first place.

This righteous anger keeps us small and limited. It also reveals our own wounding: We women don’t have a healthy relationship with our inner masculine.

We don’t honor our boundaries.

We don’t say NO when we mean NO.

We don’t speak up for ourselves.

How can we have the intimate, sexually exciting and satisfying relationships we desire when we’re struggling with our own inner masculine?

How can we invite men into our lives to be allies and collaborators for the changes we wish to see in the world when we’re disconnected from our own inner masculine?

The outer reflects the inner.

The best way to change what’s going on in our relationships is to do the inner work required to heal this wound.

It’s time to stop pointing fingers and start looking at – and actively engaging with – our own inner masculine wounding. Only when we heal our inner split can we begin to heal the schism in our relationships and the collective.

3 Keys To Healing Your Relationship With The Inner Masculine

Use these 3 keys to heal the split within so you can experience the wholeness and fulfillment that comes from the “inner marriage”: the dynamic unification of the inner masculine and the inner feminine. Only then can you experience it in your romantic partnership and beyond.

Key #1: Know & Honor Your Boundaries

Picture a river flowing peacefully through the countryside. The current can be strong in places, languid in others. It knows where it is heading. Yet the river requires a strong, firm riverbank to hold and contribute to its power and direction. The river shapes the bank just as the bank in turn shapes the path of the river.

This is the beautiful dance of the masculine and the feminine, especially when it comes to boundaries. We, the feminine flowing river, require the masculine river bank; the clear and firm boundaries to uphold our power and integrity.

Without boundaries, without the riverbank, we merge with others and lose all sense of self. Yet with rigid boundaries, we lose our own fluidity and flow, and aren’t able to receive support and contributions from other sources. With clear and firm boundaries, we’re able to be in more intimate and real relationship with ourselves and others.

Questions to consider:

  1. What are your boundaries when it comes to alone time? Do you allow yourself to have alone time every day or every week? Or do you instead always make yourself available to your partner, children, friends and other family?
  2. What are your boundaries when it comes to how you communicate with your partner? How you fight? How and what you share with each other? Do you even know? And if you know, do you honor them?
  3. What are your boundaries when it comes to flirting and dating? What kind of physical touch is okay on a first date? What kind of physical touch isn’t okay? Do you even know? And if you know, do you honor them?It is your responsibility to know and honor your boundaries. Don’t give away that responsibility to anyone else. Once you know your boundaries, you need to share them with the people close to you so they can then know and respect them. But it starts with YOU.

Key #2: Honor Your NO

As women we have been domesticated to be pleasant and accommodating. We become people-pleasers and avoid any form of conflict.

We’ve misinterpreted NO to mean something is wrong, something is bad, and our relationship with whomever we’re saying NO to is now in jeopardy. For how can someone still like, respect and even love us if we say NO to their request or demand?

But the reality is, your unspoken NO does more damage to you than anyone else. Your unspoken NO erodes trust and confidence in yourself; it dissolves your sense of self-worth; and it also leaves you high at risk for developing depression or heart disease or other physical-emotional-mental ailment that occurs with this kind of stress on your body.

So, my dear, I strongly encourage you to begin honoring your NO. When something doesn’t feel right, honor your own knowing. That’s where your NO begins.

Questions to consider:

  1. How many times in your life have you said YES when you really meant NO? Would you be willing to forgive yourself for that and make different choices going forward?
  2. What is one situation in your life where you’re currently saying YES or remaining silent when you know the truth is you want to say NO? What step can you take today to begin honoring your NO?
  3. When you honor your NO, you’re letting yourself and everyone around you know that you matter; that your choices matter; that you have a right to choosing what works for you and what doesn’t. You gain confidence, self-esteem and trust in yourself. You also become an even more positive role model for other women and your children; you send a loud and clear message that it is okay to have a YES and a NO.

Key #3: Honor Your Voice & Speak Up

In many of the #metoo posts I read, women shared how, as they were being violated, they couldn’t yell out. They could hear the words in their mind wanting to be screamed, “NO!” and “HELP!” and “What’s going on? This is NOT okay!” But their voices were on lockdown. They couldn’t speak out, even though they knew what was occurring was wrong.

If you have also had this experience, I really want you to know you’re not alone. I’ve also had this experience and know how painful it is. Not speaking up in a situation that we know is harmful to ourselves or another often leads to self-loathing and judgment… but that response will not change or heal anything.

As I already shared in Key #2, we as women have been trained to remain silent, to not speak up for ourselves or others. It’s daring for us to honor our voices and speak up! It’s revolutionary! And it’s essential to our evolution as individuals and the collective.

Questions to consider:

  1. How many times in your life have you not honored your voice and spoken up? Would you be willing to forgive yourself for that and make different choices going forward?
  2. What is one situation in your life where you’re currently not honoring your voice? What step can you take today to begin speaking up for yourself?
  3. Your voice is one of your most valuable instruments, and it can take practice using it powerfully and skillfully, just like with any other instrument.

As you put these 3 keys into practice, you’ll discover a whole new dynamically unified YOU. And when you’re experiencing the “inner marriage,” you will become more attractive to the kinds of relationships and partnerships you truly desire.

Before you go, let’s take this one step further…

Share with me below which key you’re struggling with the most, and the one step you’re going to take TODAY to put it into action.

~ If knowing and honoring your boundaries is your biggest challenge, what is one new healthy boundary you’re going to establish today?

~ If honoring your NO is your biggest challenge, what step can you take today to begin honoring your NO?

~ If honoring your voice is your biggest challenge, how might you speak up for yourself today? (Posting a comment below is a great way to begin honoring your voice! Although it’s written and not spoken, it’s you allowing your voice and your opinions to be heard.)

I love hearing from you and look forward to supporting you in being in action with healing the relationship with your inner masculine.

Want to challenge yourself daily?  Join The Daring Project, it’s free for 30-days! Click here to join.

The ABCs That Kill

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It’s become an epidemic…

As Western women, we have the power to choose. But so many women – too many women – are choosing not to choose.

They’re bored, overwhelmed or numbed out. They’re moving through life on auto-pilot, favoring safety over freedom. They’re behaving like they don’t matter; like their voices don’t matter; like their choices don’t have an impact.

That’s what cracked my heart open today: realizing the impact of free women who are NOT choosing their sovereignty every day.

There are women in other parts of the world who get stoned, shot at, ostracized or beaten for getting caught doing something as innocent as learning the ABC’s. Their hunger to learn how to read and write is never satiated. They’re made wrong for their desires. They don’t have the freedom to choose what they want.

As Western women, we have the privilege of choice. We have the freedom to learn how to read and write; to love who we love; to travel wherever we wish without a male escort; to wear what we desire; to start our own business or family when we want, if we want to; to do what we want when we want.

Yet there is another set of ABC’s that are killing us. These ABC’s aren’t the ones Malala got shot at by the Taliban for. But they carry their own dangers for us Western Women.

What are the ABC’s I’m referring to?

A = Apathy

B = Brokenness

C = Criticism

APATHY

If we’re not choosing, we’re choosing apathy.

Sure, apathy blocks out the poverty, inequality, abuse and tragedies of the world. But it also suppresses our deep caring and ability to heal. It builds a wall around our own genius so we can never fully access, let alone share, our gifts with the world.

Apathy deadens our senses, our capacity to feel pleasure and desire. We end up as empty shells, moving through life on auto-pilot, choosing safety and apathy over freedom and desire.

Apathy is a cop-out. It’s a way of avoiding the power and privilege that we Western Women have. The biggest danger of apathy is that it kills us before we’re even dead.

BROKENNESS

So many women – too many women – make the mistake of believing they are broken. They buy into the cultural training that they shouldn’t age, they shouldn’t gain weight, that they are too much or not enough, and that at their core, they are bad and wrong.

Women then spend their money on anti-aging products and practices; they invest their energy in diets, exercise regimes and trainings with authorities who supposedly know more than they do on how they should be and what they should do to be a “good” woman.

It is so sad to me that this culture of free women gives away our power to try and fix ourselves.

But the truth is, the more you think you’re anything less than perfect, the more you are wasting your life.

You are not broken. Quit trying to fix yourself.

CRITICISM

Take a moment to consider what your internal dialogue has sounded like over the last few hours.

Did you hear an inner voice saying things like, “I’m so beautiful!” And, “Oh, that croissant was so delicious. I’m so glad I chose to have it with extra butter.” And, “I did such a great job with that presentation. I showed up with confidence and handled their concerns brilliantly.”

Chances are, if you’re like the tens of thousands of women I’ve talked with over the years, your inner voice isn’t that kind. Instead, you may have heard an inner voice making comments like, “Oh my gosh! Is that another age spot?” And, “I can’t believe I ate that croissant. And with extra butter? I’m such a pig.” And, “What are they thinking of me now? I can’t believe I made that mistake with my presentation. I really messed that up.”

We as Western Women kill ourselves with criticism. With comparing ourselves to others and their expectations and judgments of us. We get so lost in the stories our inner unkind voice tells us that we lose sight of what is really important and what really matters to us.

How can you show up and be the greatness you truly are when you’re cutting yourself down with criticism?

‘Cause the truth is, you are great.

You are born to step into your greatness alongside all other great beings.

But if you keep letting Apathy, Brokenness and Criticism be your rulers, you will never know the power and possibilities of your sovereignty. You will never know the joy and pleasure of your freedom.

That’s why I invite you… I DARE you… to ditch those ABC’s and choose another, more empowering set of ABC’s that will change everything. These are the building blocks to a whole different way of living.

The ABCs that will set you free:

A = AWAKEN

B = (EM)BODY

C = CHOOSE

AWAKEN

The freedom that we have as Western Women comes with a responsibility: to awaken to our privilege and USE IT to create the kind of world we desire to live in.

Responsibility does NOT mean obligation, being a martyr, or getting hooked on some savior complex. What it DOES mean is taking responsibility for yourself and your gifts and using them to create more for yourself and for everyone.

Many women make the mistake, too, of thinking that when they awaken they will be overwhelmed with the pain of this world; they will feel all the needs and tugs for their attention; they will drown in the sea of sorrow and burn with rage. Dear one, I get it. Believe me, I really do.

It can be challenging to feel it all, to be with all the pain of this world. Yet you don’t have to remain in the pain or drown in it. Allow it all to crack your heart open to more of your caring, to the depths and beauty of our humanity, and ultimately, to the depth and breadth of your own extraordinariness.

Apathy is living in black and white. Awakening is living in technicolor. What do you really desire?

We can NOT afford to fall asleep. We can NOT afford the costs of apathy.

We also can NOT wait for someone – anyone – else to give us permission to awaken to our power and privileges.

Do not wait for your spouse, your partner, your father, your mother, your governor, or your president to give you permission to awaken from the domestication and trance that we’ve been trained to live by all our lives.

That day, and that permission, will never come. And even if it does, it is worthless until YOU give YOURSELF permission to awaken fully to your daring, desiring self.

No more waiting. It’s time to give yourself permission to AWAKEN.

(EM)BODY

When you embody, you come home to yourself. You stop believing you are broken and need fixing. You inhabit your sovereign ground and claim your right to be here.

How can you ever create what you desire if you’re not embodying your beautiful self and your life?

How can the world show up for you when you’re not showing up for yourself?

You’re either embodying or you’re abandoning yourself. Which will it be?

We need you in your body, loving your body and expressing all the truth and wisdom that lives inside. That is what will change the world.

When you are embodied, you are a force of nature. (Click to Tweet)

Your beauty and grace, your joy and pleasure, and everything else that is YOU is essential. The fullness of you is essential. So bring it on!

CHOOSE

You’re either exercising your freedom to choose – choose your partner, your business, your wardrobe, your lifestyle, your food, your desires – and claiming your power, or you’re not choosing and giving your power away. It’s really that simple and powerful.

Sovereignty is our birthright, but you must choose it.

So many women do not have the capacity to choose. They run the risk of getting killed or imprisoned if they choose to love someone of the same gender or get educated or leave the house without covering their head (let alone their entire body).

Now, I know there are parents out there who say to their children, “Eat what’s on your plate! There are children in Africa who are starving.” They use this truth as a manipulation, a bit of a guilt-trip to get their kids to finish their peas and carrots.

I’m coming from a different place with this; not as a manipulation or a guilt-trip, but rather, a call to action.

Your choices matter.

When you exercise your freedom and CHOOSE to awaken, to embody, and to choose, you take your power back. And when we all stand in our sovereignty, we stand in solidarity with all sisters (and brothers) who don’t have the same privileges we do.This has more impact and momentum than we may ever truly know.

Now is the time, more than ever, to choose what you desire. To stand up for the causes you care about. To show up for yourself and what matters most to you.

If you are with me…

If you’re ready to ditch the ABC’s that are killing you and choose the ABC’s that will set you free, engage with me. Let me hear your voice by posting a comment below. What are you daring to choose today? Join The Daring Project, it’s free for 30-days! Click here to join.

Explore Your Feminine Genius [Interview]

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If you’ve been following my work, you know how much I love and pay respect to our inborn Erotic Genius.

This is why, when my friend LiYana Silver released her book, Feminine Genius, I was excited to interview her and share with you some of her thoughts.

Watch the Video below as we explore the topics of ‘issues in our tissues’ and ‘speaking our truth’ in masculine dominant environments:

I’d love to know your takeaway from this interview, so please leave me a comment below.

Want to challenge yourself daily? Join The Daring Project, it’s free for 30-days! Click here to join.