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Are You Magnetically Attractive?

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5 Ways To Be Irresistibly Desirable (& It’s Not What You Think…)

You dress to kill, hair perfect, outfit hip & hot, yet as you step out into the world, you notice that you go unnoticed.

You’ve heard all the savvy tips on how to attract your mate and diligently practice them only to find that even if you do get a date, they don’t call you back for a second one.

You observe a ‘plain looking’ woman surrounded by attentive men and wonder what the heck they see in her and why they are not bothering to give you any attention.

Secretly you would love to have more attention from your partner, never mind other people, but you can’t stand the idea of having to wear ‘sexy’ clothes’ or behave in ways that feel ‘degrading’ in order to elicit desire.

Deep inside, you want to be the one who turns heads, who clearly has enough interest from others that you are the one who picks and chooses, not the other way around.

Being magnetic is natural, yet something that begs to be claimed.

One of the most primal impulses that we have as human beings is the desire to connect with another human being.

This isn’t just a silly teenage behavior or a revelation of a lonely adult, it is a real and powerful mechanism of being a mammal.

And one of the most powerful impulses of mammals is to mate.

It is an instinctual response to nature itself.

Yet we humans (and our cousins the bonobos) understand that there is also something more to coming together than the impulse to propagate the species.

Interesting studies have revealed that all mammals (yes, you included) have what is called an open-circuit nervous system.

This means that we are not islands, but inter-dependent: We are completed by the presence of another mammal, especially one that had bonded with us.

In fact, we are not able to function properly when we are isolated.

So then it makes sense, if connection is so intrinsic to our survival, that we would develop the ability to attract another person.

Only now, attraction has been made into a commodity.

It is what you wear, or how you do your make-up, or what hair-style you have, or what behaviors make you ‘part of the tribe’ that determines your level of attractiveness.

Yet it doesn’t work.

It is false attraction.

What we are doing is projecting the image of what we think is attractive versus actually being attractive!

Remember the scenario above where the ‘plain woman’ is surrounded by men who barely notice your presence?

You wondered what she had that you didn’t as you deemed yourself clearly more attractive than she was?

What she has is MAGNETIC attractiveness.

The kind of attractiveness that isn’t a result of behaviors, postures, or hip outfits.

The kind of attractiveness that is embodied.

It is confident, relaxed, and extremely irresistible.

Whereas false attraction draws to itself unwanted attention and undesirable people, magnetism pulls in what is its match through its powerful magnetic field.

Being and feeling attractive are not a postured behavior, it is a reflection of how we relate to ourselves.

How do we go about generating and maintaining magnetism?

1. Recognize that it is something you are naturally born with, all mammals have the ability to attract.

2. Let go of false ideas about attraction and turn your attention towards what really matters: the quality of who you are.

3. Begin to have a deeper relationship with your own magnetic current. Your current is your aliveness. It is the vibrant pulse that animates every cell in your being, shaped by the condition of your psyche. Therefore, examining your beliefs & definitions is essential to letting go of your false attractiveness & igniting your true magnetic capacity.

4. Explore if there is any part of you that is polarized: on one hand you desire to be irresistibly desirable and on the other, you fear what will happen if you do attract attention.

5. Discover and cultivate more of what ignites you.

No one is attracted to a person who is self-loathing, postured (or false), and needy, yet a turned-on, vibrant, self-adoring and fulfilled woman is hard to ignore.

Magnetism is fascinating.

It adds color to our world and invites us to truly live from the truth that we do not have to DO anything to attract anyone.

When we live a magnetic life, we relax and trust our natural ability to bring into our life everything we desire.

By being relaxed and fulfilled, we become a fascinating mystery, because so few of us actually live like this.

It is the type of attractiveness has longevity.

We do not want to be like a cheap toy, bright & alluring initially, but unable to sustain interest for very long.

We are magnetic and remarkably fascinating creatures who deserve to play in the abundance of beautiful company that reflects back to us the deep worth we hold for ourselves.

To learn more about what it takes to live a magnetic life, I recommend starting with my book. Be sure to like this article, share it, join the Succulence Revolution (sign up on page), & leave your thoughts below in the comment section.

Is Your Lover Indifferent?

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5 Revealing Questions That Can Transform Your Sex Life.

Have you found yourself craving touch and intimacy, yet your partner barely responds to your advances?

Perhaps, during sex, he is not very sensual: no kissing, no touching, no eye contact, no foreplay whatsoever?

Maybe he complains after sex, saying he can’t understand why you don’t orgasm when all his past lovers did?

Or post sex, he just turns over and falls asleep or worse, lights a cigarette and refuses to touch you or hold you for a snuggle?

Having an indifferent lover hurts.

It leaves us feeling unmet, raw, and wondering what in the world is wrong with us.

We berate ourselves for not being sexy or skilled enough in bed.

Feeling sexually broken or handicapped, we constantly feel angry while experiencing insane jealousy and suspicion of all other women.

To make matters worse, we are convinced that our inadequate and somehow immature sexuality will never be able to fulfill the needs of a true intimate relationship.

Ultimately, we struggle to fight the rising panic inside us that we will never be sexually met and happy with a partner.

First off, you are not broken and there is nothing wrong with you!

“If there is nothing wrong with me, why do I feel so bad?”

We are raised in a world that has completely misunderstood the vital importance of sexual intimacy.

In this world, sexuality and pleasure are commodities, they are things we ‘do’ to someone or ourselves in order to ‘get’ a certain result.

The porn industry and Disney fairytales of love have sold us the ideal scenario for intimacy.

Therefore, when we are experiencing an indifferent lover, it shatters our illusions of what love/desire needs to look like.

And our default is to blame ourselves for destroying our ‘happily ever after’ fantasy.

The first step in recovering from the death of our romantic ideals is to recognize this as an incredible opportunity to get real.

Getting real is sexy and is a profound relief to our psyche.

What does it mean to get real?

It means recognizing our own insecurities and false ideals along with our projections—the image of love/desire we project onto another person believing it to be real.

It also means having a good look at our current reality and being willing to ask ourself some tough questions.

Here are 5 question that can help you change your sex life:

  • What is really going on here? (Be very specific about your observations)
  • What needs do I have that are not being met in this relationship?
  • What am I honestly bringing as erotic inspiration to this relationship?
  • Am I afraid to be masterful with my pleasure and express myself shamelessly?
  • Why am I choosing to stay in a relationship that feels so unfulfilling and unloving?

Remember, when someone says they are bored sexually, it may have nothing to do with you.

If they claim that all their other lovers were happy while we are not, this could also have nothing to do with us.

Sometimes this just points to the person being overly identified with certain techniques while lacking the skill or desire to attune themselves to our body.

Perhaps it just reveals their sexual insecurity and lack of creativity when it comes to discovering what makes us purr.

Not everyone is willing to take responsibility for creating delicious sexual connections.

Beyond good/bad, right/wrong lives a world of exquisite experiences.

The gift of this experience is to learn about ourselves: what we love and don’t love, what we deeply desire, where we can stand to learn a thing or two, and what is not acceptable without making up stories about ourself!

When we are able to step back from obsessively analyzing our relationship in attempts to make it better, we give ourselves the space to notice what is actually happening.

For some of us, indifferent lovers are a symbol of how we relate to ourselves! They are mirroring where we have forgotten to love ourselves.

For others, indifferent lovers are an opportunity to discover what is truly meaningful and important to us and to hold that as worthy.

It is a chance to champion ourselves as gourmet and to deepen our own self-love and turn-on.

We are precious. Our pleasure is precious.

And anyone who cannot see and uphold that isn’t worth the gift of our sensual self.

Indifferent lovers gift us the amazing opportunity to learn about ourselves and to discover what really matters to us in intimacy.

Courageously let them go with gratitude and bravely continue on your path of unveiling your erotic intelligence.

If you would love to strengthen your capacity for making conscious choices and for attuning yourself to your erotic intelligence, I recommend you start with my book: The Emergence of the Sensual Woman.

Be sure to leave a comment below, so we can continue the discussion together.

Shameless Pleasure?

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What It Is & Why You Need It.

There is no one around and deep inside, you feel a powerful urge to express the depth of your ache.

You ache for deep, fulfilling pleasure and you want it now!

Scenario One: You reach for your hidden stash of chocolate and with trembling fingers, rip open the wrapper to reveal the silky, forbidden darkness. As you bring it to your lips, your mouth is flooded with a gush of saliva. One bite and your eyes roll back into your head, you are filled with pulsing delight.

Scenario Two: You start to move your body in ways that allows your pleasure to amplify and express itself more fully. Slowly, in the most luscious ways, you touch your body and moans of delight escape your throat.

Finale: Both scenes end abruptly when you realize WHAT you have indulged in and quickly you are flushed with berating thoughts and you swear you will never do it again.

In our liberated world, it is astonishing to see that the words shame and pleasure are almost synonymous. How did this happen? Why is it so prevalent?

Let’s first look at shame.

In some definitions, it has a positive light of providing us with a sense of humility (albeit at times false) and thus, hopefully leading us to behave respectfully.

On the same breath, those of us who have no shame are regarded to have a lack of humility and thus, believed to behave in disrespectful ways.

This biased definition assumes that we do not have a conscience and that we are not capable of actually behaving according to society’s rules and guidelines.

Do we honestly need shame in order to guide our behaviors? Can we actually become more aware of ourselves without the need to take on shame as our chaperone?

And What About Pleasure?

Let’s consider the ancient myth of Eros (the God of Love) and Psyche (the Goddess of the Human Soul). When they finally marry, they give birth to Hedone (the spirit of Pleasure) which is the root word of Hedonism.

The modern interpretation of hedonism is often linked with negative aspects of sexuality. However, the original definition of a hedonist is a “Follower of any ethical system in which some sort of pleasure ranks as the highest good. The Epicurian identifies this pleasure with the practice of virtue.” — Online Etymology Dictionary.

Reframed in this way, pleasure can be seen as a virtuous and ethical act, not just limited to sex, but also inclusive of other experiences such as enjoying a deep conversation, a delicious piece of chocolate, the scent of spring blossoms, or a gorgeous sunset.

In fact, pleasure is so essential to our well-being that without it we get distressed and eventually may fall ill, psychologically, physically, or both.

When we awaken our Erotic energy (eros) and marry it with our evolving emotional/psychological self (Psyche), we literally birth more Pleasure which in turn sustains our aliveness, keeping us youthful and vibrantly healthy!

So What Does This Have To Do With Being Shameless?

Shame is useless.

Shame is actually not needed in order to make life-enhancing choices.

Shame also does’t feel yummy in our body. Shame actually shuts us down, raises our levels of stress hormones and contributes to our ill health and yes, rapid aging!

Shame is also a choice.

It exists because of our definition.

We think we need it in order to be good women. If we were to be shameless about our pleasure, then we must be bad.

Yet nothing is further from the truth.

When we can learn to trust ourselves and the wisdom of our body, all of our neurosis around pleasure will surface and have a chance to be loved into wholeness.

And if we are willing to embrace ourselves in our totality, free of judgement, we can begin to live from a truly shameless and pleasureful place.

In Fact, Shameless Pleasure Is Our Birthright. 

Remember, we are designed for pleasure.

Having over 8000 clitoral nerve endings dedicated solely to the function of activating our pleasure is not only living proof, it is a daily reminder of this truth.

Many medical researchers are still perplexed as to why clitoris even exists, surely pleasure cannot be the sole reason for its existence?

Personally, I haven’t found another use for it.

If accessing your deep, erotic intelligence while exploring and loving yourself into wholeness resonates with you, get started with my book: Emergence of the Sensual Woman. Click here to get it now. If you’d love to dive into a dynamic training that helps make Shameless Surrender an embodied experience, then you’ll love my 6 hour immersion training: Click For More Details.