Relaxed Arousal?

Uncovering The Deeper Meaning Of Pleasure.

Is sexual pleasure something haphazard or is it something you intentionally cultivate?

When you do have sex, is orgasm the essential ingredient to ‘good sex’?

Perhaps sex no longer fascinates you and has become a get-it-over-and-done-with chore?

Even if sex is still important, maybe you sense something is amiss and wonder where all of your techni-color orgasms went?

Or, is sex something done quickly, in order to relieve the tension that has been building up inside of you?

Whatever the case, our sexuality is unavoidably influenced by the wham-bang-thank-you-ma’am attitude that is so prevalent in modern media.

We are inundated day in and day out with messages that imply that not only should we be turned on all of the time, but as soon as we are turned on, we must do something about it as quickly as possible.

Then, adding to the mix, when we do enjoy sex, we tend to focus on the end result and miss the pleasure and connection that comes with sexual play.

The ‘tension-release’ method of building ourselves up to the ultimate peak moment in order to be momentarily set-free has become the norm.

Yet this way of having sex, although fun and possibly fulfilling, can leave us wondering if there is more to sex than what we currently know.

This is where “relaxed” arousal comes in.

Relaxed arousal represents the dynamic paradox of feeling the intensity of arousal while being fully relaxed in both mind and body.

On a psychological level, the more clear and relaxed we are, the more access we have to our innate erotic intelligence.

Accepting pleasure as our birthright, enjoying sex and orgasm as a natural, healthy part of being human, and understanding that we are biologically designed with a full neural network of unlimited pleasure potential, we begin to give ourselves permission to fully open up to our body’s amazing capacity to generate limitless pleasure.

On the physical level, relaxation is key to inducing a pleasure-hormone response cycle and enabling us to access the more subtle sensations of the erotogenic zones of our body.

Relaxing our psyche directly affects the relaxation of our body, in fact, most issues with libido and pleasure are of a psychological nature.

3 Quick tips to Relaxed Arousal:

1. Take time to explore your beliefs and definitions about sex and pleasure and see if some of them could be updated.

2. When engaging in any sensual or sexual activity, be willing to forget about the end result and indulge in all of your senses while deepening your awareness of your body.

3. Practice relaxing both your mind and body outside of an erotic context. The more you practice, the more you will have the power to drop into a relaxed, yet aroused state when you do engage your erotic self.

By allowing our front brain to release its agendas, to-do lists, and out-dated perceptions, we allow our hypothalamus to bathe us in a rush of pleasure-based hormones.

This process includes letting go of having to ‘make pleasure happen’, of  wishing for pleasure to ‘feel or look a certain way’ as well as letting go of the mechanical version of sexuality.

This relaxed, open, non-goal-oriented spirit shifts us from a purely localized genital experience and enables us to enjoy the deeper purpose of pleasure, whether it is found through profound sensuality, an orgasm or many orgasms.

Relaxed arousal is something we can have alone or with a partner and is essential to supporting us to reclaiming our natural vitality, inspiration, and capacity to contribute something worthy in the the world.

Through living in reverence with our own pleasure, we literally switch ourselves on and live a life rich with beauty, deep peace, and satiation.

If embodying relaxed arousal is something you would love more of, I would recommend starting with my book: Emergence of the Sensual Woman. If you enjoyed this article, please like it, share it, and subscribe (sign up on page) to access more tips to living a sensually alive life.

Remember to leave your comment below so we can continue to deepen this discussion.

Your Heart’s Yearning:

The Secret To Fulfilling The Longing In Your Heart.

Deep inside, you ache. Something is missing in your life and it hurts, yet you dare not utter its presence aloud.

You have moments of utter clarity of how your life could really be and just as quickly, you are filled with thoughts of impossibility and doom.

You have done everything you felt was “right” yet in quiet moments you cannot shake the feeling of deep dissatisfaction.

Laying awake at night, tossing and turning, you wonder why your life doesn’t feel complete even though you have made the best of it.

You are not crazy.

You are deeply alive.

And you are hearing one of the most important message of your life.

Your heart’s calling.

Our hearts yearning play a crucial role in the full realization of our own unique journey.

In this world where the illusions of happiness infuse our concrete, proof-seeking reality, there seems to be no room to acknowledge the tight ache that clutches at our heart.

Yet acknowledge it we must.

It hurts, yet this is not a random ache.

It is not silly and unworthy.

Quite contrary, this ache speaks to the whisper of our own soul-compass.

It is calling to us to pay attention through creating persistent, uncomfortable squeezes which are impossible to ignore.

3 Steps To Actualizing Our Yearning

Let’s for a moment put aside what we believe is right or wrong or even within our own realm of possibility and just feel our heart’s yearning fully.

Breathe into the ache.

What lives there?

What vision, taste, sensation lives there?

Can you hold it for a moment and simply acknowledge its raw beauty without poo-pooing it?

Can you let the ocean of emotion wash through you as you do?

This is the first step to actualizing this yearning.

It’s important to note that this isn’t a fleeting yearning, something inspired by mass media hypnosis, but rather it exists for itself, separate of our current reality.

It is the part of us that knows what we deserve to experience for the pure sake of being thoroughly human on a glorious journey of becoming who we already are.

The next step is to sit with the yearning.

Sit with it, give it your breath and hold it as precious and true.

See it clearly in your heart as fully existing.

Keep going, until you literally experience your yearning as fully realized.

This can take time, but its worth it.

Once you arrive at the moment where your yearning is realized, you will taste it as though it is real.

This is the magic moment we’ve all been waiting for: the moment of fulfillment.

Fulfillment isn’t external, it happens within the fires of our hearts.

The last step is to recognize that once we feel it has fully actualized itself in every fiber of our being, is to realize that you no longer need it to show up externally.

You are fulfilled. Complete.

And if it does show up in your life, you will recognize it, welcome it, and throw a party!

Living a worthy life begins by recognizing our habituated or pre-conditioned response of “believing” that we risk annihilation if we were to consider our hearts yearning and then saying yes to it anyways.

To cultivate the beauty of your heart’s yearning, I recommend starting with my book. Please like this article, share it, join the Succulence Revolution (sign up on page), & leave your thoughts on how you listen to your own heart’s calling below in the comment section.