Embodied PsychoSexuality: What is it, why is it important, and how does it impact our clients?

Today I’d like to talk about what embodied psychosexuality is, why it’s important and how it impacts our clients or patients as well as ourselves. So, first of all, let’s just look at “Embodied Psycho Sexuality”. Psycho sexuality has been around as an idea, and also as a theory since the time of Freud.

There’s this concept that the psyche, our consciousness, our mind, our feelings, our beliefs, all of that aspect of having a human awareness, isn’t disconnected from our sexuality. In fact, there’s a strong connection between the psyche and the body and sexuality. The importance of this is that if there’s things happening in the psyche, it can impact the function of the body, especially sexual function, pleasure, orgasm, et cetera. The converse is also true… if there’s something happening in the genitals, perhaps pain or a blockage or an experience of some kind that can also impact the psyche.

Therefore, there’s a bi-directional communication between our “awareness self”, our “feeling self”, and what’s happening in the physiology of the genitals. That is to say that the most common method of resolving issues of the technology of psycho sexuality is talk therapy. If you’re a medical doctor how do you bridge the gap with your patient?  You want to provide better care and just knowing what’s going on in the body, isn’t enough.

Learning to ask the right kinds of questions will reveal more information. For example, are they enjoying their sexual relations with their partner? How do they feel about their relationship? How do they feel about sexuality? These types of questions are very important because they can reveal what’s underneath the issue, Psychotherapists, counselors, et cetera, are also learning to use it because they’re noticing that they need to be able to bridge the gap into the topic of sexuality. And so they’re being trained in how to properly form our questions, how to listen better, et cetera.

So what is the embodied part?

The embodied part is my own work because I couldn’t just take talk therapy. When I first started to teach and counsel others, I had several doctors: MDs, PhDs, sexologists and sex therapists who worked with clients in that way, combining talk therapy with psycho-sexual methods. One of the things that I noticed with these student-professionals was there was little embodiment. I believe that embodiment is crucial if we are going to transform someone’s life. The underlying reason for this is “limbic resonance”. When you’re in a position of holding space of caring for, of having influence, and you’re going to talk about sexuality, but you have hang-ups around sexuality, or you have your own wounds around sexuality, or you’re not very expressed in your sexuality, there is an inauthenticity and a disconnect that happens subconsciously for the patient.

When you’re speaking to someone, what you embody around sexuality gets transmitted, whether you’re aware of that or not. This is very confronting as a practitioner because it’s really important to feel at home in this topic, in your own version, in your own way. There’s no way that you must be, but just that you’re at home in it so that you can hold a state of acceptance. Curiosity and professionalism around this topic is very, very important.

The embodied portion of this methodology is two-fold: there’s the embodiment piece for the practitioner themselves, how to really embody their own comfort with the topic. And then there’s the embodiment in the client, to have them process something that’s deeply physical, deeply emotional, with more than thinking and talking.

For the therapist, doctor, leader, or workshop facilitator who is holding in themselves when they’re speaking as well as what the client or patient experiences. It’s about sharing a skillset so that the concepts become a real for them as they experience it in their body. The most crucial underlying factor is that talk therapy is not enough when it comes to trauma in the body. Therefore, we need to touch the body. We need to breathe into the body, and we need to open the body in order to actually transform or repattern the cellular memory of the body. There are very specific embodied somatic practices that are given at the same time as some very important psychological premises, that frame reality in a new way so that the client can feel a sense of their own empowerment, feel a sense of their own sovereignty, particularly in terms of sexual sovereignty.

How does this then apply to specific groups of people?

I’m not going to talk about gender or sex right now, because I feel that every person is a sexual being. Therefore, no matter who your client is, no matter how they identify, no matter how they orient, there is a grounded understanding that if we can get the psyche and the body to work together, we can get a person to feel comfortable and confident with what the sensations are. We can get them comfortable with what the experiences are and they can start crafting more of what they love and transform and heal past experiences.

Because we live in a world that doesn’t understand that sexuality has a natural place, healers who are embodied psychosexually are imperative. If we view sexuality as important to our survival as breathing ourselves, this gives our clients an opportunity to define for themselves what’s important in the realm of sensuality and sexuality. Allowing them to process this without imposing our own values and ethics on their choices will allow you to be far more effective in treating them.

I have not come across any other modality that creates lasting positive transformation.

Personally, I would prefer to have a client come through and have their experience and be empowered and transformed enough that they no longer need me. Having them become a functional sexual being in the world is what I would love. There is ample opportunity because I’ve rarely met a single person that feels wholly at home and relaxed in their sensuality and sexuality. It’s just that kind of world we live in.

Today you have the opportunity through learning embodied psychosexuality, practicing this method, bringing it into your business, to be on the leading edge of humanity’s evolution. It is time that humanity starts to mature their relationship with sexuality, start to heal the wounds around sexuality, start to bring more awareness and understanding to their bodies, to their pleasure, to all the sensations that come in this realm of sensuality and sexuality. To be on the forefront of that, to be on the leading edge of that is very exciting!

The last thing I want to say is that embodied psychosexuality has a direct physiological impact; a measurable, direct, physiological impact on the function of the sexual organs. Now that we’ve demonstrated that it’s becoming more important that people understand the embodied psycho-sexual piece and that we bring this into every single modality that is dealing with sensuality or sexuality on any level.

I’m excited to be presenting this work to encourage practitioners, to continue to grow in their own personal development and professional development, and to bring a new methodology that can truly be effective that can truly allow for a person to become sexually sovereign and thoroughly functional and thriving in the realm of sensuality and sexuality.

I hope that you I’ve answered the questions that you have about embodied psychosexuality. I invite you to visit and take a look at what the program looks like. If you want to be part of the program, the window’s kind of small (we begin November 12th!) so jump in!  After you complete the application, we’ll speak, you and I directly one-on-one. Let’s get you embodied and feeling confident in how you lead these conversations in your personal life, as well as for the women you serve in your business.

What is your pain or discomfort trying to tell you?

“He will leave me if we can’t have sex, but I’m in so much pain, I really can’t”.

“I’m confused by my recurring issues with my vagina, it seems like there’s always something wrong and I really just want to relax and feel good.”

“I feel ashamed by the changes in my body. I just want to be orgasmic, why is it so hard?”

No matter what the complaint is, the truth behind all of them is that when our body isn’t well, we feel betrayed and frustrated.

Yet when our body is in a state of imbalance, it’s attempting to speak to us. the problem is two-fold: we don’t know how to listen nor do we understand what is being said.

Recently, in interviewing a leading Ob-Gyn about women and sexual health, she stated that there is always a psychological connection with every issue.

This affirmed what I already discovered over 10 years ago when writing up my PhD: we are psycho-sexual beings.

This means that what we think and believe is not separate from our body.

Now although this can be an intriguing idea, how is it useful when we are suffering from on-going sexual imbalances?

Personally, I healed my vagina of an ‘incurable’ imbalance. The truth was that I was in pain, I couldn’t have sex, I thought my partner would leave me, and I couldn’t find the answer through alternative and traditional medicine alike!

I was left with only one option—go within and listen.

So I did. But that was not enough. I needed to trust what I was hearing and act accordingly. And what was afflicting me for 1.5 years healed overnight, never to reoccur again.

Since that moment, I became well aware of the immense power we each have to heal ourselves and to bring imbalances back into vibrant wellbeing.

3 Keys To Getting To Know Our Psycho-Sexual Self:

1. Contemplate that it’s possible. I have witnessed incredible transformation for women who were willing to consider the idea that their body was just simply misbehaving and that there may indeed be a deeper learning available through the imbalance.

2. Admit what is obvious. This can be as simple as “I’m in pain” or “I’m angry” or “I’m scared”. Through being able to ‘get real’ with ourselves, we are able to orient ourselves to the actual current reality we are experiencing. For example: I’m feeling like I’m getting a bladder infection. I must be pissed off. Oh! I am pissed off. 

3. Take action. Using the above example: I drink a few liters of water, own my anger, and apply tea tree diluted in coconut oil to the opening of my urethra. These are steps that I know work for interrupting a bladder infection. Action is normally pretty clear, the problem is that most of us don’t really want to face what we need to face to actually heal. 

By being willing to fully embody our sovereign space (our physical body) and to meet what is emerging for us with as much courage as we can muster is an act of deep self-respect and self-love.

There’s no need to suffer unnecessarily or for prolonged periods of time. It may require of us to put on our ‘big girl’ panties and face reality. Good. It’s time we take our own power back into our own hands. We may have to have temporary discomfort, but it will be worth it in the long run.

The impact of shifting our perception from victim (things that happen to us) to sexually sovereign (states of being that we move through) cannot be underestimated.

If learning to hear and heed the messages from your body is important to you, I’d love to invite you to consider exploring my Your Yoni Never Lies Deep Dive video training.  

I always love to hear directly from my readers, so feel free to leave me a comment or question in the comments section below.