what-is-the-embodied-psycho-sexual-method

Embodied PsychoSexuality: What is it, why is it important, and how does it impact our clients?

Today I’d like to talk about what embodied psychosexuality is, why it’s important and how it impacts our clients or patients as well as ourselves. So, first of all, let’s just look at “Embodied Psycho Sexuality”. Psycho sexuality has been around as an idea, and also as a theory since the time of Freud.

There’s this concept that the psyche, our consciousness, our mind, our feelings, our beliefs, all of that aspect of having a human awareness, isn’t disconnected from our sexuality. In fact, there’s a strong connection between the psyche and the body and sexuality. The importance of this is that if there’s things happening in the psyche, it can impact the function of the body, especially sexual function, pleasure, orgasm, et cetera. The converse is also true… if there’s something happening in the genitals, perhaps pain or a blockage or an experience of some kind that can also impact the psyche.

Therefore, there’s a bi-directional communication between our “awareness self”, our “feeling self”, and what’s happening in the physiology of the genitals. That is to say that the most common method of resolving issues of the technology of psycho sexuality is talk therapy. If you’re a medical doctor how do you bridge the gap with your patient?  You want to provide better care and just knowing what’s going on in the body, isn’t enough.

Learning to ask the right kinds of questions will reveal more information. For example, are they enjoying their sexual relations with their partner? How do they feel about their relationship? How do they feel about sexuality? These types of questions are very important because they can reveal what’s underneath the issue, Psychotherapists, counselors, et cetera, are also learning to use it because they’re noticing that they need to be able to bridge the gap into the topic of sexuality. And so they’re being trained in how to properly form our questions, how to listen better, et cetera.

So what is the embodied part?

The embodied part is my own work because I couldn’t just take talk therapy. When I first started to teach and counsel others, I had several doctors: MDs, PhDs, sexologists and sex therapists who worked with clients in that way, combining talk therapy with psycho-sexual methods. One of the things that I noticed with these student-professionals was there was little embodiment. I believe that embodiment is crucial if we are going to transform someone’s life. The underlying reason for this is “limbic resonance”. When you’re in a position of holding space of caring for, of having influence, and you’re going to talk about sexuality, but you have hang-ups around sexuality, or you have your own wounds around sexuality, or you’re not very expressed in your sexuality, there is an inauthenticity and a disconnect that happens subconsciously for the patient.

When you’re speaking to someone, what you embody around sexuality gets transmitted, whether you’re aware of that or not. This is very confronting as a practitioner because it’s really important to feel at home in this topic, in your own version, in your own way. There’s no way that you must be, but just that you’re at home in it so that you can hold a state of acceptance. Curiosity and professionalism around this topic is very, very important.

The embodied portion of this methodology is two-fold: there’s the embodiment piece for the practitioner themselves, how to really embody their own comfort with the topic. And then there’s the embodiment in the client, to have them process something that’s deeply physical, deeply emotional, with more than thinking and talking.

For the therapist, doctor, leader, or workshop facilitator who is holding in themselves when they’re speaking as well as what the client or patient experiences. It’s about sharing a skillset so that the concepts become a real for them as they experience it in their body. The most crucial underlying factor is that talk therapy is not enough when it comes to trauma in the body. Therefore, we need to touch the body. We need to breathe into the body, and we need to open the body in order to actually transform or repattern the cellular memory of the body. There are very specific embodied somatic practices that are given at the same time as some very important psychological premises, that frame reality in a new way so that the client can feel a sense of their own empowerment, feel a sense of their own sovereignty, particularly in terms of sexual sovereignty.

How does this then apply to specific groups of people?

I’m not going to talk about gender or sex right now, because I feel that every person is a sexual being. Therefore, no matter who your client is, no matter how they identify, no matter how they orient, there is a grounded understanding that if we can get the psyche and the body to work together, we can get a person to feel comfortable and confident with what the sensations are. We can get them comfortable with what the experiences are and they can start crafting more of what they love and transform and heal past experiences.

Because we live in a world that doesn’t understand that sexuality has a natural place, healers who are embodied psychosexually are imperative. If we view sexuality as important to our survival as breathing ourselves, this gives our clients an opportunity to define for themselves what’s important in the realm of sensuality and sexuality. Allowing them to process this without imposing our own values and ethics on their choices will allow you to be far more effective in treating them.

I have not come across any other modality that creates lasting positive transformation.

Personally, I would prefer to have a client come through and have their experience and be empowered and transformed enough that they no longer need me. Having them become a functional sexual being in the world is what I would love. There is ample opportunity because I’ve rarely met a single person that feels wholly at home and relaxed in their sensuality and sexuality. It’s just that kind of world we live in.

Today you have the opportunity through learning embodied psychosexuality, practicing this method, bringing it into your business, to be on the leading edge of humanity’s evolution. It is time that humanity starts to mature their relationship with sexuality, start to heal the wounds around sexuality, start to bring more awareness and understanding to their bodies, to their pleasure, to all the sensations that come in this realm of sensuality and sexuality. To be on the forefront of that, to be on the leading edge of that is very exciting!

The last thing I want to say is that embodied psychosexuality has a direct physiological impact; a measurable, direct, physiological impact on the function of the sexual organs. Now that we’ve demonstrated that it’s becoming more important that people understand the embodied psycho-sexual piece and that we bring this into every single modality that is dealing with sensuality or sexuality on any level.

I’m excited to be presenting this work to encourage practitioners, to continue to grow in their own personal development and professional development, and to bring a new methodology that can truly be effective that can truly allow for a person to become sexually sovereign and thoroughly functional and thriving in the realm of sensuality and sexuality.

I hope that you I’ve answered the questions that you have about embodied psychosexuality. I invite you to visit www.EmbodiedPsychoSexualMethod.com and take a look at what the program looks like. If you want to be part of the program, the window’s kind of small (we begin November 12th!) so jump in!  After you complete the application, we’ll speak, you and I directly one-on-one. Let’s get you embodied and feeling confident in how you lead these conversations in your personal life, as well as for the women you serve in your business.

4 replies
  1. Els
    Els says:

    Hi Saida! Great article!
    I especially loved this: “If we view sexuality as important to our survival as breathing ourselves, this gives our clients an opportunity to define for themselves what’s important in the realm of sensuality and sexuality. Allowing them to process this without imposing our own values and ethics on their choices will allow you to be far more effective in treating them.” So true!!
    And “When you’re in a position of holding space of caring for, of having influence, and you’re going to talk about sexuality, but you have hang-ups around sexuality, or you have your own wounds around sexuality, or you’re not very expressed in your sexuality, there is an inauthenticity and a disconnect that happens subconsciously for the patient.”
    I have personally experienced this being true. I’m a GP, so I’m not specifically treating sexual problems perse, but I do see lots of men and women with genital issues, psychological problems and other chronic diseases that affect their sexuality. Before I was totally disconnected from my own sexuality and talking about sexual issues was very uncomfortable. I even felt I couldn’t help people with it, because I just didn’t understand it’s importance. Because of the JEM course I am more open and connected to my own sexuality now and this has helped me tremendously in addressing any sexual issue with an open curiosity and space of acceptance. I’ve noticed I’m able to hold that space now for my patients and I’ve had some beautiful open conversations with some of them; conversations I’ve never had before! It is not something I intended or was even conscious of before, but it is an amazing ‘side effect’ of the JEM course. Healing for me AND for my patients.
    So, I thought I’d share this here! Even if it’s not a main goal for me, your work ripples out beyond personal growth!
    Love, Els.

    Reply
    • Saida Desilets
      Saida Desilets says:

      Thank you so much Els. This is brilliant feedback! I deeply appreciate it and how wonderful for you and your patients. 🙂

      Reply
  2. Beth Cooper
    Beth Cooper says:

    Hi Saida,
    I love this because being a body worker therapy has always worked better for me when the body was included. For example dance therapy has been powerful. The hard part about the article is that we are all human and at different stages of being open or expressed. So it is not fair to say ( and you are probably not saying this) I just took it that way but that you have to be perfect or completely healed to do good in the world of sex. I feel that the intention to meet yourself and your embodiment is key and of course holding space for people to be seen and held will be transforming for people despite the level of mastery. I may be wrong. Lots of love.

    Reply
    • Saida Desilets
      Saida Desilets says:

      Hi Beth! Such great feedback! Thank you! I hope that’s not what I was saying, in terms of being perfect. However, there is a degree of healing that must happen before one can facilitate this delicate space. If one gets triggered with a client’s sharing, one should not be facilitating until there’s been transformation in that area 😉 The reason for this is that if a facilitator is triggered, especially in this type of delicate space, there is possibly of deepening trauma, rather than transforming it. However, through proper training, there is a depth of self-awareness, self-healing, self-empowerment that does happen while also deepening facilitation skills. Not everyone has this standard, of course. I hold this standard because I’ve had to deal with clients who were re-traumatized by their therapists. For this reason, I believe this training to be a crucial part of being more effective as a person who wishes to facilitate transformation in the arena of sexuality.

      Reply

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