4 Stages From Domesticated to Wild

You become blocked from your inherent genius when you are domesticated. But as the desire to go beyond the confines of your limited life urges you forward, you hesitate…

You’ve been sold lies that it’s not safe to be wild. Are those lies true?

You’ve been told it’s not okay to leave the land of the domesticated pack to find your own way to another, wilder terrain. What can you trust? Who can you trust?

These are big questions, key questions that will unlock you from the lies you’ve been living. As you begin to question all that you’ve known, it’s important to know the 4 stages women go through as they choose to rewild themselves.

When you know these stages you can recognize where you are in the journey from being domesticated to becoming your authentic, wild and free self. They become your “signposts” in a very non-linear journey.

Here they are…

The 4 Stages From Domesticated to Wild

Stage 1: DOMESTICATED – IT’S ALL YOU KNOW.

You’re domesticated and you don’t realize it. You don’t even realize how much the conditioning is controlling your choices. This blog (and the previous one in this series) might be waking you up to seeing the conditioning. Great. Awareness is the first key.

Stage 2: DOMESTICATED – SCARED TO CHANGE.

You might be aware of the conditioning and yet it’s still running your choices. You haven’t found a way to break free of it. It’s like being an animal in a cage – you can see the bars but don’t know how to release yourself from the cage. Or you’re afraid to because of all the conditioning you’ve received about what it means to be wild. You believe it might be safer in the cage so you stay.

The truth is, safety kills your erotic genius and your innate sexual intelligence. What’s the cost of staying in the cage? A lifetime of unfulfillment? Of doubting yourself? Of desiring so much more yet never allowing yourself to experience that?  Recognizing you have choice is the second key.

Stage 3: WILD – EXPLORING.

You’re breaking through the conditioning yet now are uncertain – what is possible beyond domestication? You are seeking support, guidance, ideas, examples, other women who have walked this path or who are walking this path. Making your sexuality, sensuality and wildness your first priority, you’ve chosen to leave the cage and explore. This requires courage. This is the 3rd key.

Stage 4: WILD – MASTERY.

You are confident in your sexuality. You have come home to yourself. You are audacious. You are embodying your inherent genius. You know you are whole and perfect just as you are. You trust yourself. You are your own authority. You have sexual sovereignty.

You are wise to know that mastery requires practice. It’s not something that occurs overnight. You choose desire and pleasure as your lifestyle. You claim it as your birthright. You have un-defined femininity and sexuality and are living a life that turns you on. Devotion to yourself and your pleasure are the 4th key.

Take a moment to reflect: where are you right now? What stage are you in?

As I have shared with you before, please don’t judge yourself no matter where you are in your journey right now. Acknowledging where you are with love inspires you to make new choices so you can come home to your wild, free self.

I invite you to join me for a free webinar on Saturday, April 29th where we will dive deeper into this conversation about coming home to ourselves as wild, free, audacious women.

Click here for more information and to claim your spot in this community of women committed to going beyond the conditioning and daring to be our true selves:

The Audacity of Pleasure: How Dare You Make Pleasure Your Lifestyle?
3 Big Pitfalls & Promises of Pleasure

I look forward to seeing your beautiful, powerful self there!

3 Signs You’re Domesticated (And How To Rewild Yourself)

Thousands of women around the world have told me again and again that for much of their lives they looked to outside “experts” for answers. They thought these people (most often men) must know more – and better – than they do.

But of course! Isn’t that the way it is for a reason? There is a multi-billion dollar industry dedicated to telling women they are wrong and need to be fixed and that the solutions lie outside of themselves.

How could a multi-billion dollar industry be wrong?

Let that sink in for a moment…

There is a multi-billion dollar industry profiting from your insecurity; from your doubt and distrust of yourself. The lies this industry spews about women: who you should be, who you shouldn’t be, what you should do, what you shouldn’t do, are so pervasive. They can feel like the water you swim in: just the way it is.

But I’m here to tell you THIS IS NOT JUST THE WAY IT IS.

These lies have domesticated women and disconnected us from our own inherent genius within.

I say NO MORE! No more buying these lies. No more allowing ourselves to be tamed and trained to be smaller, controllable versions of ourselves.

Beautiful you, is it time you say NO MORE to these lies? NO MORE to being domesticated? No more to suppressing your greatness?

If so, congratulations. I celebrate your choice! By saying NO MORE to the lies you are also saying YES to yourself.

As you move forward from here it’s important to know the 3 signs that you are domesticated. When you can spot these signs in your own life, you begin to see the “water” you’ve been swimming in. This is the first step to rewilding yourself.

3 Signs You’re Domesticated:

  1. You defer to outside authorities on issues related to your body, your finances, your worth, your pleasure, your sexuality.
  2. You believe you are not good enough, woman enough, sexy enough, feminine enough, complete enough, orgasmic enough.
  3. You think you need to be perfect: the perfect sexual partner, the perfect wife, the perfect mom, the perfect Board member, the perfect everything.

So, take a moment for an honest, loving, reality check with yourself.

How often do you defer to outside authorities? How much of your life have you spent obsessing with being good enough and being perfect?

Be kind with yourself. This is not the time for judging yourself. The domestication of women has rested on the power of being able to judge and shame you. So you get to be bigger than that, kinder than that. The only way to change this cycle of judgment is to stop the judgment.

How do you do this? Acknowledge that you’ve been domesticated and that you are choosing to change this. Don’t waste time or energy on judging what has been. Instead, set your sights to what is ahead…

There is so much inherent genius in your body, in your feminine psyche, in your pleasure. The only way to free yourself from domestication is to rewild yourself. And the only way to rewild yourself and free your greatness from suppression is to come home to yourself.

How?

~ Instead of looking outside yourself for answers, choose to be your own authority.

~ Instead of believing you are not enough, begin to love yourself into wholeness.

~ Instead of trying to be some perfect version of what others think you should be, begin to explore your authentic, true self within.

Coming home to yourself, to your true self, is the biggest gift you can give yourself. To support you in this journey, I invite you to join me on Saturday, April 29th for a free webinar as we dive deeper into this topic of rewilding ourselves.

Click the link below for more information and to claim your spot as a wild woman, a free woman, an audacious woman:

The Audacity of Pleasure: How Dare You Make Pleasure Your Lifestyle?
3 Big Pitfalls & Promises of Pleasure

Remember: You deserve to be free and wild. It is your birthright and the only way that your authentic self can know true pleasure and fulfillment.

Vaginal Glue Stick?!

“Natural compound of amino acids and oil in a lipstick that is applied to the labia minora which causes them to cling together in a manner strong enough to retain menstrual fluid in the vestibule above the labia minora where the vaginal opening and urethra exit.” 

“Think of it as potty training the period, cleaner, healthier, more secure, less risk of infections.” 

“You as a woman should have come up with a better solution than diapers and plugs, but you didn’t. Reason being women are focused on and distracted by your period 25 per cent of the time…” – Dr Daniel Dopps

You read correctly, Dr. Daniel Dopps thinks that glueing your inner lips is a genius solution to handling your menstrual flow.

Watch my short video on this matter:

He calls it ‘potty training’.

Dr. Dopps, women are not toddlers needing to be potty trained.

Our bodies are not designed incorrectly and we are not 25% less productive because we are distracted by our periods.

If anything, the industrial area has take men and women further away from being human beings to behaving as human machines.

The “distraction” we find these days has not to do with our periods, which have been around since the beginning of our species, but to do with how we are socially conditioned.

This simply amplifies the current need for each of us to claim our sovereign ground (our body) and to exercise our responsibility to make healthy choices that are uniquely true for each one of us.

Please leave me your comments below as I’m curious how you feel about the vagina-sealing glue stick idea and what it represents on the whole.

 

Your Body, Your Sexuality, Your Choice

Women’s issues are on the forefront of change around the globe, which is very exciting!

We are confronting establishments and ideals and taking a stand for our bodies.

Yet on a micro-level, in my field of work around the psycho-sexual nature of women, there’s evidence the same revolution is needed.

I’ve been witnessing doctors making uncontested, unsubstantiated claims and self-proclaimed “Jade Egg/Yoni Egg” teachers saying equally unsubstantiated new-age miracle cures.

Yet what this is about isn’t the Jade Egg, it’s how these women empowerment leaders are failing to lead.

Rather, they prefer to lie, slander and shame one another and any women in the line of fire, which degrades the profundity of this life-transforming practice.

What’s even more screamingly obvious, is that the unspoken issue here (and globally) is actually about you: Your power. Your freedom. Your sovereignty.

Social conditioning has made it so that we blindly defer our power to anyone of ‘authority’, so the sooner we realize that we project our own power and radiance onto leaders, the sooner we can reclaim ourselves and start behaving as sovereign women.

If we do not come forward and claim our own sacred ground – our body – someone else will predetermine how it is for us.

We are constantly shamed and bullied into surgeries, prescriptions, procedures, and so-called empowerment trainings.

We believe it when we are told we are not good enough, complete enough, woman enough, sexy enough, Feminine enough, orgasmic enough… in short, we are not okay as we are right now.

And the solution to fix our imperfect selves is that we must do ‘this’ and ‘that’ to finally be able to meet this imaginary standard of perfection that someone else has set.

Right?

I don’t think so.

The only way I know to transform the suppression of our greatness is to come home to ourselves.

Right now.

Right now, choose you.

DARE to be yourself, to love yourself, to listen to yourself, and to actually enjoy who you naturally are.

It’s not empowering to NEED someone (doctor, teacher, guru, etc).

It’s not empowerment if a practice or philosophy creates more self-doubt, depression, less-than, broken, wrong, etc

The madness must end and we’re the ones that can end it.

No one has the RIGHT to determine what happens to your sex. PERIOD.

Your sexuality, your genitals… it’s your sovereign space.

You don’t need surgeries, you don’t need special vagina tricks, you just need YOU.

So what will it be, what everyone else wants you to be or what you choose to live for yourself?

If any of this has rung true for you, please share this and leave me your comments below. You matter. Your story matters.

Toxic Shock Syndrome & The Jade Egg

Toxic Shock Syndrome is serious.

Having a medical doctor make false allegations wherein Jade Egg use is suppose to be life-threatening is also serious.

In this short video, I get to the point: Why Jade Eggs Are Safe.

And… I share a more important point: Women are not things, they are BE-ings.

We must start to treat ourselves as intelligent and start to truly claim our own power, using professionals for support, but not giving them God-like status.

Watch this short video on my insights for the TSS and the Jade Egg issue and what this recent controversy actually reveals about our society and our treatment of women:

If this video was helpful, please share it with as many women as possible.

Please be sure to leave my your thoughts, especially about how you are treated by those in positions of authority and the steps you take to claim your power in those situations.

Why Doctors & Research Say Jade Eggs Are Safe, Gwyneth Paltrow!

The word is out!

Jade Eggs are dangerous and can cause TSS (Toxic Shock Syndrome).

Basically, beware – using a jade egg could kill you!

Or at least that was the unsubstantiated allegations written by ONE gynecologist on her blog who writes, “Nothing here is…medical advice…or the practice of medicine.”

Dr. Jen Gunter made these outrageous statements with no research, evidence or first hand experience of the jade egg practice other than reading Gwyneth Paltrow’s blog last week.

Basically, it was her personal opinion founded in nothing but uneducated guesses.

But the way the global media carried it, you might have mistaken it for the gospel truth.

Isn’t proper journalism based on facts and not just sensationalism?

Well, obviously not.

The Danger Lies In False Allegations

Although I actually agree with many of Dr. Gunter’s points, attacking someone inappropriately and making false allegations isn’t professional behavior, and her condescending attitude clearly isn’t one of a woman who endorses women’s empowerment, despite her claims to do so.

False allegations are statements that are unproven and untrue in the spirit of deliberateness or deceit.

Dr. Gunter’s statement was unfounded since there is not one single case or study linking the use of Jade Eggs with TSS.

Jade eggs have been used in the United States for over 30 years by tens of thousands of women with no reported health issues.

But that doesn’t mean one couldn’t happen…so let’s dig deeper into the allegation that a Jade Egg could cause TSS with actual research and medical opinions.

How common is TSS – Toxic Shock Syndrome?

“TSS is rare, and more importantly, S. aureus has preferred conditions in which it is more likely to flourish, and this is with a synthetic, super absorbent tampon.” – Sharra L. Vostral, PhD, Published with the Yale Journal of Biology and Medicine, Dec/2011.

The research indicates that TSS appeared when tampons changed from cotton to synthetic fibers, providing the perfect atmosphere for the S. Aureus bacteria to grow.

This study shows us that even full cotton tampons have an exceptionally low risk of TSS, so how can the Jade Egg, unable to absorb a heavy menstrual flow and typically never worn during the menstrual cycle, be linked to this condition?

“In all of my years of practice, I have never seen any poor outcomes from women using a jade egg vaginally.  Given the inert quality of the stone, I think that the risk of TSS or other infection is negligible.”– Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD, MHS

I agree that women who are just sold a Jade or Yoni egg without proper hygienic and technical instruction are not well-informed and could be doing more harm than good.

Here’s what a leading Ob-Gyn has to say about Jade Eggs and TSS:

“Toxic shock syndrome is very rare, usually seen in menstruating women using high absorbency tampons, with prolonged use.  Although the jade is porous, it is not absorbent.  The association of TSS with hyper-absorbable tampons is thought to be due to accumulation of blood in the polyester foam cubes and chips of carboxymethylcellulose; the increased vaginal pH in menstruation from 4.5 to 7.4; and the presence of both oxygen and carbon dioxide in the vagina during menstruation.  These factors promote growth conditions for S aureus (the bacteria responsible) growth.  Jade eggs are not worn during menstruation, and do not accumulate blood.  They can be boiled regularly for hygiene. Based on these facts, the risk for TSS from proper jade egg use, i.e. The Desilets Method, is very low.” – Debra Wickman, MD, FACOG

Controversy Inspires Higher Standards

But there was a benefit to this whole episode because some of what Dr. Gunter pointed out is true.

Without proper guidance on hygiene and pelvic floor movements, the jade egg could be a dangerous practice.

Just like Yoga, without a properly trained teacher, a beautiful practice could cause harm.

And many many businesses have begun to sell jade eggs without proper safety standards in place.

If a jade egg is bleached, fake or manufactured improperly, it can become brittle and potentially dangerous.

My colleague, Layla Martin, shared that many crystals currently in use, such as rose quartz, that don’t have the internal toughness necessary for intimate use and contributed this piece of research:

Nephrite jade has an “extreme toughness” due to “microscopic features” in the “orientations of its crystallites, and the nature of its grain boundaries.”  – M. Dorling and J. Zussman, published in the Department of Geology at the University of Manchester, 1985.

Many businesses sell jade eggs without holes to tie disposable string to remove the egg, and for some women with prolapse or specific vaginal orientations, this can make the egg extremely difficult to remove.

So, yes, it’s appropriate to react and be wary of the woo-woo “McEgg” BS.

And, it’s inappropriate to attack and shame a woman, especially in the name of women’s empowerment.

It’s called a “false allegation” to make a claim that is not substantiated.

Clearly, we need higher standards in non-medical options for promoting psycho-sexual health in women.

In my dissertation, Investigation of the Désilets Method and It’s Effect on the Psycho-Sexual Health of Women, there is a very specific methodology to using the Jade Egg if one is to have lasting, positive results.

Simply pushing a Jade Egg into the vagina or inappropriately hanging weights off of it (without personalized training from a qualified instructor), won’t create the desired effect of psycho-sexual well-being, and, may even lend to further deepening any neurosis, trauma or pelvic pain or dysfunction.

“As an expert in the field of women’s pelvic therapy, I understand the complexities of training, strengthening and creating health in the pelvis. The Jade Egg teachings of Dr. Saida Désilets are based on sound principles of anatomy, physiology  and energy. She brings this mastery to her class and teachings. I have personal learned  from Dr. Desilets and have incorporated  her teachings into my patient’s exercise and pelvic health programs. Her jade egg teachings work where others have failed. Those who criticize should first learn from a true expert like Saida before formulating an opinion because not all jade teachings are created equal.”- Isa Herrera, MSPT, CSCS

What You Can Do Now

Jade Eggs, used hygienically and properly, have been shown to have incredible health results, both physiologically and psychologically.

This is a call to all women.

To take responsibility for your sexual sovereignty.

Do not believe everything you read on the internet; the best marketing isn’t always the best product.

Do not believe only in what your doctor says; they may be too busy to keep up with the latest studies.

Do your own research. Look into multiple sources and cross reference.

We’re talking about your body.

Your intimate self.

You deserve the truth and the best quality of education that not only tells you HOW to do it but also empowers you to define, for yourself, what it means to be sexually integrated and healthy.

No one has the right to tell you what that looks like, especially those in positions that benefit from your lack of confidence and knowledge.

If this article was useful, please share it. The more women understand the truth behind the hype, the more they can make wise choices.

Your thoughts are this matter are important, please leave your comments below.