Delicious Tip: Reclaiming Your Space

May is the month to celebrate our Mother and motherhood in general.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Our relationship with our mother is profound, and as you know, deeply impactful on how you live your life as a woman and how you interact with women in general.

If you find that you have a less than amazing past, perhaps it is now the time to recognize that you are not living there and that it’s time to glean wisdom from it and move on.

This month’s delicious tip looks at how overly focusing on our past can prevent us from really enjoying the beauty of what is happening now. It also encourages you, through a simple invitation, to use your sensuality to receive the gift of this moment.

This video is all about reclaiming your space so you can feel more free, more alive, more YOU!

If this video was helpful, please like it, share it and leave me your thoughts in the comment section about what you are willing to let go of in order to take advantage of being fully alive right now.

Delicious Tip: Awakening Your Secret Gateway

Being the avid Jade Egg user that I am, I always have a giggle around Easter when the topic of ‘Easter Egg Hunting’ comes about… throws a whole new meaning to the event!

And as a passionate Jade Egg user, I am fascinated with all of the incredible ways in which it supports us to entrain our mind-body connection.

In this month’s delicious tip, I introduce to you a very precious and important part of your Feminine anatomy: your temple gates and why we need awaken them!

Even if you have never used a Jade Egg, this information can transform your pleasure in ways that you may have not yet dreamed of:

In the comments section below, I’d love to hear from you. What are your concerns or ah-ha’s about awakening your gateway?

If you got something delightful from this video, please like it and share it!

 

Pleasure As Your Birthright:

When Knowing Isn’t Enough & 5 Steps To Making It Real.

Very recently, I held a live webinar called ’63 Ways To Orgasm’ and one of the questions I received stayed with me.

Let me paraphrase it here:

“What happens when knowing that pleasure is my birthright isn’t enough? I mean, I know this, and yet, my situation remains the same.”

I loved this question!

I loved it because it was honest and it pointed to something important when it comes to making pleasure real for us.

How do we translate our ideas or mental constructs into real, visceral sensations that fill our life with renewed delight and meaning?

Huge question.

First of all, we must understand that for the majority of us living in modern times, we are mostly walking heads.

Few of us actually embody our body.

Secondly, most of our learning and ideas about sensuality and sexuality are learned through observing (through mediums such as film, etc), reading, or discussing the topic.

Few of us actually trust and delight in our natural sensuality, being willing to explore from a place of erotic innocence.

And thirdly, due insidious messages and imprinting we receive from pre-birth onwards, most of us believe that sensuality and sexuality is something that we DO, not something that we naturally ARE.

Few of us have had the blessing to be brought up in an environment where sexuality and sensuality is a natural and normal as breathing.

Yet we all know, deep in our bones, there is more to sensuality and sex than what we currently know.

This encourages us to get curious, to seek information, to learn, to explore.

The confusing bit is when we come across conflicting information, or worse, misleading information.

Then, we attempt to translate this information into what we know to be true for us, only to end up disappointed and frustrated.

This is why clearly pointing out the pleasure is indeed your birthright—that it’s something that you have within you since you were just a baby in your mama’s belly—can, at first, seem quite inspiring, yet quite discouraging when it doesn’t translate.

How can we make something we understand mentally, real?

5 Steps To Making It Real:

Step 1: To make something real is to make sure that the very thing we wish to actualize is actually founded on truth.

For that, you will need to trust yourself and to question everything you think you know about the topic, especially when it comes to sex.

Step 2:  Sit with the offered definition and reword it, so it becomes yours.

This small step is incredibly necessary to making something real—it must be stated in YOUR WORDS.

Step 3: Forget about how everyone else translates this truth and return your attention to yourself.

Sometimes making it real for ourselves means forgetting about how everyone else is experiencing and describing it and being willing to have a genuine, personal, and self-defined experience.

How would you make this real? What small action would genuinely begin to bring this home (into your body) for you?

Step 4:  Be open to ‘not knowing’ and entering the mystery.

Are you willing to claim that you don’t know? Sometimes stating we ‘don’t know’ can open up the space for the mystery of life to come in.

When it comes to pleasure and accessing our erotic genius, we must get out of our own way.

Our mental ideals and assumptions serve only to numb out the potent signals that our innate erotic intelligence is attempting to communicate to us.

Step 5: Gnosis = Knowing through direct experience.

It is thought that we do not truly know something until we have a direct experience of it, yet how many of us claim to ‘know’ something just because we heard or read about it?

Here you are being invited to get curious and to start to open the possibility to that pleasure is something that you are.

Are you willing to discover this within yourself?

What would that look like? Get creative! Step outside of what you ‘know’ in your mind and get curious about ‘knowing’ something through your whole being.

Reclaiming pleasure as our birthright is one of life’s initiations and when we do embark on this journey, we will be facing age-old ideals and beliefs which are deeply ingrained into our psyche.

Being willing to be confused along with being open to “the new” re-calibrates your nervous system to re-pattern itself, not only to notice pleasure, but also to enhance your capacity to live as an erotically intelligent and expressed human being.

If you would love to live more fully attuned with your innate erotic intelligence, I recommend starting with my book: The Emergence of the Sensual Woman. Click here to get it now.

Now, let’s hear from you! How do you make something real for yourself? Leave me your comments below. If you loved this article, please LIKE IT and share the love!

Sexual Sovereignty?

Is It The Next Step In Our Sexual Evolution?

Deep inside yourself, you can feel it.

It can be the softest whisper or as powerful as newly unleashed lava.

However you sense it, your sexual evolution is happening right now. 

Even if you don’t believe in it or you feel trapped, lost, or simply bored out of your mind, within you is a force that will not be stopped.

It wakes you at night, it titillates you in random moments, and it catches you when you least expect it.

This is the fragrance of your sexual sovereignty.

These very words, when uttered aloud, can evoke curiosity, relief, and at times, confusion.

What is sexual sovereignty and could it possibly be part of our sexual evolution?

Whether or not we want to admit it, we are evolving sexually.

It may not look that way when we see how extensively we have converted sexuality into a commodity and how far away we have come from truly understanding this powerful human force.

Furthermore, the prevalence of world-wide sexual trauma and abuse hardly inspires us to grasp our own transformation.

Yet beneath all the turmoil and multi-trillion dollar pirating of our sexuality, there is a quiet evolution blossoming.

The root of the word evolution contains within it the idea of unfolding or development.

Therefore, sexual evolution is the natural unfolding or development of sexuality.

If we take this to heart and apply it to an individual, we can see that that each one of us has the potential for a deep unfolding or unveiling of our erotic nature.

It is equally important to note that today’s version of evolutionary sexuality has less to do with cryptic rituals, initiations, or highly specialized sexual postures and techniques and has more to do with accessing something deep within each of us.

This is where sexual sovereignty comes in.

It is the forgotten element of our nature that is often over-shadowed by our fixation on our pain, disappointment, regret, or what is commonly known as our sexual ‘wound-ology’—the focus on our sexual pain and trauma to the point of identifying ourselves with it.

Sexual sovereignty is the natural unfolding of our own erotic wisdom, including the concept of being a fully emotionally and sexually expressed adult.

What it’s not:

Sexual sovereignty isn’t an pre-determined idea or a posture we can assume.

Nor is it something we can bargain for, get from someone, lose to someone, or even purchase.

What it is:

Sexual sovereignty is what occurs when we begin to excavate the riches of our being, the gifts that have yet to be birthed, what has yet to be touched or even acknowledged, without the interference or influence of the external world while being in harmony with our deep erotic wisdom.

By fully claiming our sexuality and commanding an embodied authority of this aspect of our life, our sexuality frees itself from being ruled or formed by external opinions or behaviors, and instead, becomes self-validated, self-reflective and self-actualizing.

Key questions to reveal your sexual sovereignty:

1. Are you identified with your sexual trauma or abuse? If yes, are you willing to begin to explore that who you are is greater than the sum of that experience?

2. Have you spent time concentrating on what your ‘un-born’ or ‘un-expressed’ gifts may be? If not, why not?

3. Are you willing to explore, understand, and transform your past sexual imprints and begin to explore the possibility of self-defining your sensuality and sexuality?

It’s important to note that sexual sovereignty is a natural state of being which is inclusive of both our emotional/psychological self and our erotic intelligence.

It is our inherent sensuality that possess sexual clarity, integrity, and full expression along with emotional depth and responsibility.

As we face some of our biggest evolutionary choices—choices that will determine whether our species continues to thrive and prosper—affirming our own sexual sovereignty becomes an essential part to our contribution to planetary change.

If the concept of sexual sovereignty is something you would like to make into reality, I recommend starting with my book: Emergence of the Sensual Woman.

If you enjoyed this article, please likeshare it, join the Succulence Revolution (sign up on that page), & leave your thoughts below in the comment section.

Exhausting Periods?

Challenging 5 Common Myths About Your Cycle.

Have you ever contemplated why you feel so tired during your period?

Perhaps you don’t feel tired, but the women around you always remark about how tired they feel around their menstrual cycle?

Maybe you read about how women can learn to actually stop their menses through specific practices and you wondered about whether or not that was a good idea?

It could be that you also wondered if somehow your period was a time for detoxing?

Or, you heard that if you don’t bleed on the new moon, there is something out of whack with your Femininity?

Myths about our menstrual cycle are so prevalent these days that it is hard to decipher fact from fiction.

In fact, their very existence can create a variety of neuroses that can evolve into female health challenges.

Five Unchallenged & Common Myths:

1. Women lose energy during their menses.

This is an interesting myth because it is a learned idea. Unless you are the rare woman that actually is exhausted during her period, this myth simply isn’t true.

Yet because we ‘believe it to be true’, we behave accordingly, blaming our period for our exhaustion versus our own lifestyle choices.

On the level of our body and psyche, the menstrual phase of our cycle is a natural ‘reset and rest’ time. It is a time for us to enjoy going inward, to attune ourselves to what is working and not working in our lives, and to part-take in nourishing activities.

As for blood loss, unless we are excessively bleeding, the amount of blood loss is not enough to equate fatigue. We lose, on average, 35ml of blood with our menses, yet donating blood, on average, we give more than 10x the amount of blood (450ml)!

Furthermore, in the West, we often attribute slowing down and being still with being tired or sleepy.

But these are unrelated states.

What is important here is to note that we have a strong ‘meme’ (a mental virus propagated as truth) interplaying with poor life-style habits.

Reset: Our menses is a time to go inward, to contemplate, to slow down, to reset and realign ourselves to what is most important in our lives.

When we slow down, if we are tired, we let ourselves enjoy relaxing and rejuvenating ourselves with plenty of rest.

2. Our kidneys are adversely affected by the menses.

What is actually meant here is a statement on our adrenal health, not so much our kidney health. This confusion comes from attempting to translate an Eastern concept (kidney health) into a Western paradigm (adrenal health).

Furthermore, this meme is backwards—It is the exhaustion or depletion of our adrenals that adversely affects our menstrual cycle, not the reverse.

However, it is common that in the natural ‘rest and reset’ time of the actual menses, we experience greater awareness of our adrenals and their imbalances.

What fatigues our adrenals? Stress, of all kinds.

When the adrenals are in stress cycle, they no longer can support producing our healthy hormones in a balanced way.

This can lead to issues such as estrogen dominance which is linked to the experience of PMS, fibroids, endometriosis and irregular menstrual cycles, just to name a few.

Reset:

By having a good look at our life-style, we can begin to make some positive changes towards enjoying more down time and practicing being quiet more regularly.

Many women report a positive change in their cycles simply by regaining their adrenal health.

3. The Taoist premise that encourages early menopause (cessation of the menses).

This premise is widely propagated through different texts that state that a woman loses her JING when she menstruates, therefore leading to the assumption that in order to stay young and healthy, we must prevent the loss of our JING as much as possible.

Again, here we have the difficulty of translating an ancient concept with modern medicine. In a very simplistic way, the concept of JING can be loosely related to adrenal health.

As we already noted, life-style is the main culprit to eroding adrenal health and I have found this to be true in regards to women’s health issues.

What is more draining than our actual menses is our lack of introspection and emotional responsibility.

PMS, in my experience, can be diminished or eliminated by having the willingness to examine ourselves more deeply and to take ownership of our choices and of our shaping our lives into one that is supportive of our natural, rhythmic, womanly cycle.

Reset:

Menstruation is natural.

Our environment, our life-style and our psychological well-being all play a big part in how we experience our cycle.

When we begin to live more in harmony with our own cycles, we return to our optimum state of vibrant womanly health.

4. Our menses is a natural detox program.

Here is another interesting meme that implies that we are somehow ‘dirty’ and must be ‘cleansed’ once per month.

Yet, menstruation is one of the four natural expressions of fertility cycle.

For this one, I want to jump immediately into the reset.

Reset:

As mentioned in #3, we could do well by owning ourselves emotionally.

Often we do use our uterus as a sort of psychic garbage can.

However, I have noticed that women who honestly begin to use the PMS/menstrual time of their cycle as a time to blossom in their emotional maturity, their menstrual pain diminished or ceases all together.

Of course, there are ways to exercise, eat, and supplement our lives that equally support the transformation of living in harmony with our feminine rhythm.

5. If we don’t bleed on the new moon, we are out of sync with our Femininity.

This meme is very harmful because not all women menstruate on the dark moon and this does not, by default, prove that they are out of sync with their Femininity.

In fact, women who follow the recommended protocol to bleed on the new moon may be doing everything right and still not bleed at the ‘right time of the month’.

Reset:

If your cycle is healthy and you feel attuned with yourself, then whenever you bleed is perfect.

We must let go of forcing ourselves to live according to external constructs and instead start to live according to what is true for our own unique self.

When it comes to our own deep Feminine wisdom, nothing replaces attuning ourselves with ourselves and being willing to challenge and question everything that we believe to  be true about what it means to be a woman in modern times.

This is a true and courageous act of claiming and living according to our embodied wisdom.

If you would love to understand your own inner wisdom, check out my book.

If you enjoyed this article, please like it, share it, and leave your comments below so we can continue to unveil our own truths about what it means to be a healthy woman.

Relaxed Arousal?

Uncovering The Deeper Meaning Of Pleasure.

Is sexual pleasure something haphazard or is it something you intentionally cultivate?

When you do have sex, is orgasm the essential ingredient to ‘good sex’?

Perhaps sex no longer fascinates you and has become a get-it-over-and-done-with chore?

Even if sex is still important, maybe you sense something is amiss and wonder where all of your techni-color orgasms went?

Or, is sex something done quickly, in order to relieve the tension that has been building up inside of you?

Whatever the case, our sexuality is unavoidably influenced by the wham-bang-thank-you-ma’am attitude that is so prevalent in modern media.

We are inundated day in and day out with messages that imply that not only should we be turned on all of the time, but as soon as we are turned on, we must do something about it as quickly as possible.

Then, adding to the mix, when we do enjoy sex, we tend to focus on the end result and miss the pleasure and connection that comes with sexual play.

The ‘tension-release’ method of building ourselves up to the ultimate peak moment in order to be momentarily set-free has become the norm.

Yet this way of having sex, although fun and possibly fulfilling, can leave us wondering if there is more to sex than what we currently know.

This is where “relaxed” arousal comes in.

Relaxed arousal represents the dynamic paradox of feeling the intensity of arousal while being fully relaxed in both mind and body.

On a psychological level, the more clear and relaxed we are, the more access we have to our innate erotic intelligence.

Accepting pleasure as our birthright, enjoying sex and orgasm as a natural, healthy part of being human, and understanding that we are biologically designed with a full neural network of unlimited pleasure potential, we begin to give ourselves permission to fully open up to our body’s amazing capacity to generate limitless pleasure.

On the physical level, relaxation is key to inducing a pleasure-hormone response cycle and enabling us to access the more subtle sensations of the erotogenic zones of our body.

Relaxing our psyche directly affects the relaxation of our body, in fact, most issues with libido and pleasure are of a psychological nature.

3 Quick tips to Relaxed Arousal:

1. Take time to explore your beliefs and definitions about sex and pleasure and see if some of them could be updated.

2. When engaging in any sensual or sexual activity, be willing to forget about the end result and indulge in all of your senses while deepening your awareness of your body.

3. Practice relaxing both your mind and body outside of an erotic context. The more you practice, the more you will have the power to drop into a relaxed, yet aroused state when you do engage your erotic self.

By allowing our front brain to release its agendas, to-do lists, and out-dated perceptions, we allow our hypothalamus to bathe us in a rush of pleasure-based hormones.

This process includes letting go of having to ‘make pleasure happen’, of  wishing for pleasure to ‘feel or look a certain way’ as well as letting go of the mechanical version of sexuality.

This relaxed, open, non-goal-oriented spirit shifts us from a purely localized genital experience and enables us to enjoy the deeper purpose of pleasure, whether it is found through profound sensuality, an orgasm or many orgasms.

Relaxed arousal is something we can have alone or with a partner and is essential to supporting us to reclaiming our natural vitality, inspiration, and capacity to contribute something worthy in the the world.

Through living in reverence with our own pleasure, we literally switch ourselves on and live a life rich with beauty, deep peace, and satiation.

If embodying relaxed arousal is something you would love more of, I would recommend starting with my book: Emergence of the Sensual Woman. If you enjoyed this article, please like it, share it, and subscribe (sign up on page) to access more tips to living a sensually alive life.

Remember to leave your comment below so we can continue to deepen this discussion.