When Knowing Isn’t Enough & 5 Steps To Making It Real.
Very recently, I held a live webinar called ’63 Ways To Orgasm’ and one of the questions I received stayed with me.
Let me paraphrase it here:
“What happens when knowing that pleasure is my birthright isn’t enough? I mean, I know this, and yet, my situation remains the same.”
I loved this question!
I loved it because it was honest and it pointed to something important when it comes to making pleasure real for us.
How do we translate our ideas or mental constructs into real, visceral sensations that fill our life with renewed delight and meaning?
First of all, we must understand that for the majority of us living in modern times, we are mostly walking heads.
Few of us actually embody our body.
Secondly, most of our learning and ideas about sensuality and sexuality are learned through observing (through mediums such as film, etc), reading, or discussing the topic.
Few of us actually trust and delight in our natural sensuality, being willing to explore from a place of erotic innocence.
And thirdly, due insidious messages and imprinting we receive from pre-birth onwards, most of us believe that sensuality and sexuality is something that we DO, not something that we naturally ARE.
Few of us have had the blessing to be brought up in an environment where sexuality and sensuality is a natural and normal as breathing.
Yet we all know, deep in our bones, there is more to sensuality and sex than what we currently know.
This encourages us to get curious, to seek information, to learn, to explore.
The confusing bit is when we come across conflicting information, or worse, misleading information.
Then, we attempt to translate this information into what we know to be true for us, only to end up disappointed and frustrated.
This is why clearly pointing out the pleasure is indeed your birthright—that it’s something that you have within you since you were just a baby in your mama’s belly—can, at first, seem quite inspiring, yet quite discouraging when it doesn’t translate.
How can we make something we understand mentally, real?
5 Steps To Making It Real:
Step 1: To make something real is to make sure that the very thing we wish to actualize is actually founded on truth.
For that, you will need to trust yourself and to question everything you think you know about the topic, especially when it comes to sex.
Step 2: Sit with the offered definition and reword it, so it becomes yours.
This small step is incredibly necessary to making something real—it must be stated in YOUR WORDS.
Step 3: Forget about how everyone else translates this truth and return your attention to yourself.
Sometimes making it real for ourselves means forgetting about how everyone else is experiencing and describing it and being willing to have a genuine, personal, and self-defined experience.
How would you make this real? What small action would genuinely begin to bring this home (into your body) for you?
Step 4: Be open to ‘not knowing’ and entering the mystery.
Are you willing to claim that you don’t know? Sometimes stating we ‘don’t know’ can open up the space for the mystery of life to come in.
When it comes to pleasure and accessing our erotic genius, we must get out of our own way.
Our mental ideals and assumptions serve only to numb out the potent signals that our innate erotic intelligence is attempting to communicate to us.
Step 5: Gnosis = Knowing through direct experience.
It is thought that we do not truly know something until we have a direct experience of it, yet how many of us claim to ‘know’ something just because we heard or read about it?
Here you are being invited to get curious and to start to open the possibility to that pleasure is something that you are.
Are you willing to discover this within yourself?
What would that look like? Get creative! Step outside of what you ‘know’ in your mind and get curious about ‘knowing’ something through your whole being.
Reclaiming pleasure as our birthright is one of life’s initiations and when we do embark on this journey, we will be facing age-old ideals and beliefs which are deeply ingrained into our psyche.
Being willing to be confused along with being open to “the new” re-calibrates your nervous system to re-pattern itself, not only to notice pleasure, but also to enhance your capacity to live as an erotically intelligent and expressed human being.
If you would love to live more fully attuned with your innate erotic intelligence, I recommend starting with my book: The Emergence of the Sensual Woman. Click here to get it now.
Now, let’s hear from you! How do you make something real for yourself? Leave me your comments below. If you loved this article, please LIKE IT and share the love!