You Are Gourmet, So Stop Acting Like Drive-Thru!

Are you feel tired of being alone?

Do you wonder where all the delicious, conscious partners have gone to?

When you see another woman madly in love and being adored by her partner, does your heart squeeze painfully as you hide your own desperate need to be met?

How many more unfulfilling and uninspiring dates will you need to go on before you finally ‘strike gold’?

May be you have found someone you really enjoy, but have no clue how to ‘keep them interested’?

Whatever your relationship issues are, there is one fundamental flaw in how most women approach partnership:

We behave like drive-thru.

The following is a story told by the Wintu Tribal Elders of California:

How The Female Eagle Chooses Her Mate

When it comes time for the female Eagle to choose her mate, she prepares herself for many suitors. And many come before her. 

She looks them over quite well and then picks one to fly with for awhile.

If she likes the way he flies she finds a small stick, picks it up and flies high with it. At some point she will drop the stick to see if the male can catch it. 

If he does, then she finds a larger stick and flies with it much higher this time. 

Each time the male catches the sticks, she continues to pick up larger and larger sticks. When she finds the largest, heaviest stick that she herself can carry, the stick is at this point almost the size of a small log! But she can still fly very high with this large stick. 

At any time in this process, if the male fails to catch the stick, she flies away from him as her signal that the test is now over. She begins her search all over again. 

And when she again finds a male she is interested in, she starts testing him in the exact same way. And she will continue this “testing” until she finds the male Eagle who can catch all the sticks. 

And when she does, she chooses him, and will mate with him for life. 

One of the reasons for this test is that at some point they will build a nest together high up and will then have their Eaglettes. When the babies begin to learn to fly, they sometimes fall instead. It is then that the male must catch his young. And he does! 

Women, how well do you “test” your suitors before you allow them into your life?   

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This story speaks to how we have forgotten that we are actually gourmet, worthy of respect, devotion, and adoration.

Instead, we behave like drive-thru, allowing ourselves to bargain for love.

We don’t bother to see if the person is actually worthy of receive our love, our beauty, and our deepest, most delicious delights.

Why do we do this?

In part, relationship has been cheapened. Initially, we consider our virginity a disease, attempting to get rid of it as quickly as possible.

Then, wanting to come across as the hottest sex goddess in town, we shush our yearning hearts and gift our bodies to unworthy recipients.

We know they are unworthy because we are left feeling empty and unmet.

To compound things, we have our biological clocks ticking and literally making us ‘mad’. Mad enough to get pregnant with someone with whom we really would rather NOT share the rest of our life with.

Finally, we are left in sexless and loveless marriages, where we feel ugly, unloved, and barren of any enthusiasm for beauty and adventure.

But there is a solution to this downward spiral.

Gourmet Relationship.

To attract a gourmet relationship, we must first be willing to be gourmet!

This means that we fill our own plates first! We do this by deepening and enriching our primary relationship with ourselves, becoming our own best friend, lover, and partner.

When we have a full gourmet plate and we are clear on what is non-negotiable for us, we can step confidently into the world of dating.

In fact, because we are so satisfied with our own connection with ourselves, we are no longer behaving like a woman in desperate need.

Neediness is unattractive.

It implies that we are empty and that someone else must do the filling. Any healthy person would shy away from this knowing that it is impossible to fill an empty hole.

When we are whole, we no longer look for our better half. We have already found it!

Instead, we become irresistible, magnetic, and someone worthy of wooing.

Gourmet relationship is one where two whole and sovereign people come together for the sake of delighting in each other, for the joy of sharing the adventure of life, and for the celebration of their uniqueness.

Want to put an end to lifeless and unfulfilling relationship? Click here to get my book: Emergence of the Sensual Woman.

The Art Of Flirting:

5 Surprising Secrets To Conscious Flirting.

Do you remember the feeling of your heart racing as a random stranger gives you a gorgeous smile and says something playful to you?

Or perhaps you are feeling particularly juicy and find yourself smiling and engaging in a fun banter with your local grocer?

Or maybe you have notice how your friend always seems to charm everyone while you feel a little unnoticed?

Flirting is more than just a smile and some quirky lines, flirting is how we celebrate the beauty of being alive.

Flirting is Natural & Necessary

Flirting is for all ages and is actually the lubricant of delight in our world.

I’m not speaking about the type of flirting that is locked into a goal of ‘getting something’ or just purely ‘sexual’ in its intent.

The true expression of flirting is a genuine desire to share in the beauty of life and ignite another person, even for a brief moment.

Flirting of this kind is never inappropriate and nor is it something we need to read a book on, it is something all of us naturally know.

It is our ability to see beauty in others along with the desire to see this beauty shine even brighter.

5 insights to Artful Flirting

1. Beauty Within and Without

Artful flirting is not possible if we do not acknowledge beauty, within ourselves and others.

This means we must seek to experience and express our own innate beauty regularly.

It also means defining for yourself what beauty is and allowing beauty to touch you profoundly, actually opening you up to the deep experience of aliveness within you.

2. Authentic Warmth

Another secret to successful flirting is to spend time opening your heart.

Discover what burdens your heart and do your best to transform that and make new choices.

You will find yourself falling in love with yourself which naturally translates into having a warm, authentic presence.

3. Marrying Our Heart and Erotic Nature

This inner marriage is yet another fundamental must in artful flirting and succulent living.

This is when your emotional nature is allowed to blossom, mature, and to become a lover with your erotic nature.

It is also when your own sexuality is honored for her wisdom, innocence and intelligence.

Your erotic nature yearns to be met by the radiant respect of your heart.

This union within you gives you access to delicious, new, subtle (but not so subtle) experiences of your pleasure as your birthright.

It also creates a gourmet relationship with yourself which allows you to go out into the world from an abundant place of true desire and creativity.

4. Igniting Delight Within

Igniting delight within yourself is the fourth insight to living a succulent and artfully flirtatious life.

Looking at your current definition of delight and possibly refining and expanding upon it can do wonders for opening up to new levels of delight.

Delight is a result of an open heart and alive sensuality. It is your capacity to perceive and sense beauty and pleasure in the world and to translate it internally as deliciousness.

5. Letting go of Goals

Flirting is often connected with sex being the end result.

But flirting with a specific goal can also lead to disappointment, or worse, manipulating others so we can have our needs satisfied.

Therefore, being able to let go of the need to ‘make someone’ react a certain way to our ‘flirtatious’ offering allows us to come from a place of generosity versus a place of lack.

This shift allows us to flirt as a way of sharing our aliveness with integrity and sensitivity.

It becomes something amazingly invigorating and fulfilling, in of itself!

The Dark Side of Flirting

Saying all of that, it is important to pay homage to the dark-side of flirting.

We live in a world that has a skewed view on sensuality and sexuality and for some, flirting can only be seen as manipulative or debasing.

Of course, they have missed the point (and the joy!).

But it is also wise to understand that not everyone will respond to flirting with delight.

Once we know this and once we are truly aligned to the Art of Flirting itself, we can then pick and choose our moments so that we only bring more positive connection into the world.

So the next time you are at a check-out counter and the clerk asks if you need anything else, you might answer, “Yes” and pause for a moment to see if they are listening. With eye contact say, “A smile would make my day.” 9 times out of 10, they will break into a brilliant smile.

If living more artfully with your playful sensuality is something that turns you on, you may delight in exploring my Art of Succulent Living philosophy. Click here to enjoy my book.

How To Take Advantage Of Your Man’s Wandering Eyes

You are out with your man and a gorgeous woman walks by, he almost breaks his neck from following her with his eyes.

You find your man flipping through picture after picture of beautiful women on the internet while he barely notices your presence.

On the beach, you are walking hand in hand with your lover when you notice his eyes lingering on a beautiful woman’s shapely tanned body.

Before you start to get angry or feel betrayed and hurt, you may want to step back for a moment and take a better look at your man.

As frustrating as his ‘wandering eyes’ can be, there is a gift to them!

The key is to understand this natural masculine response to beauty and to take full advantage of it.

Why do his eyes wander?

Before accusing him of being unfaithful or just a plain outright pervert, you may want to peek into the motivator behind the action.

Testosterone.

We love this guy, don’t we?

In fact, testosterone is responsible for that feeling of desire and is the instigator behind our libido.

Without testosterone, there would be no sexual play, no attraction, just cuddles and snuggles, but not hot, burning lust.

Testosterone also is behind the sexy, strong muscles we love so much.

What about confidence?

Testosterone again! Self-confidence and assertiveness are enhanced with its presence.

And don’t we just love a confident man who knows what he wants?

Absolutely.

Yet the very same hormone is initiates sexual thoughts and fantasies and increases our desire for one-night stands and affairs, as it is quite fond of novelty.

Which is where the ‘other woman’ comes in.

The unknown beauty ramps up your mans testosterone levels and before you know it, his eyes are eating her alive.

The same happens within us, albeit at levels a little less intense then an man’s.

Now, testosterone has a buddy.

LHRH. In fact, it is LHRH that kick starts our man’s testosterone when a gorgeous woman shows up.

It also regulates testosterone levels in his body making sure that he is always ‘ready and willing’ when a woman is available.

Now here’s the catch:

Stress and the threat of danger can short-circuit this cyclical two-part harmony and shut down your man. The same is true for you.

Here’s the deal.

When a man’s has been in a relationship for a long time, there is often a loss of novelty, of excitement, and therefore, the loss of testosterone. 

To make matters worse, the stress of life and feelings of being dominated or belittled dwindle a man’s testosterone levels.

In fact, one of the worst culprits of male castration has been the Feminist movement. Men no longer know how to be good men AND maintain their testosterone levels.

Have you castrated you man? Do you hang him ‘out by the balls’?

Men are remarkably sensitive creatures.

Testosterone, as potent and delicious as it can be, is also phenomenally delicate and easily disrupted by external causes.

As a man ages and perhaps gains a little weight, his testosterone levels go down. When he loses, at work or socially, his levels plummet.

The lower they are, the less drive he will have, both inside and outside of the bedroom

But there’s help.

By encouraging your man’s testosterone and LHRH levels.

How?

Before kicking his butt down to the local gym and getting him to pump iron, you may want to consider how powerful your influence actually is.

Rev his motor and ride his turn on!

Once you understand that you can play a part in creating a sexy, confident, and turned on man, you may find great joy in creating new ways to titillate your man.

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Point out hot women to him and let him know that his turn on is your turn on.

2. Send him texts or emails with images of gorgeous women (that you find beautiful too).

3. Write him an explicit fantasy of your own. Get wild in your story-telling and leave it on his desk-top for him to find.

4. If you are game, turn yourself on and record your own sounds of pleasure. Talk to him and let him know what you are doing. Send him the recording or leave it on his voice mail.

Men are both highly visual and auditory.

The more you surprise him this way, the more excited and delighted he will be. And the healthier his levels of testosterone will be.

Through gifting our man the freedom to respond to beauty, he will find a new sense of novelty within his relationship, finding us all the more attractive and desirable.

If it feels juicy to gain confidence and insight to delight in beauty and share its inspiration with your partner, click here to get started with my book: The Emergence of the Sensual Woman.

Yoni-Pulse: Do you have one?

7 Insights to Awaken Your Arousal Cues.

Have you felt your own yoni-pulse lately? The deep, persistent throbbing within you that reminds you life is not only about to-do lists and end results?

May be you have never felt your own molten heat filling your core and wonder what all the fuss is about?

Or worse, you used to feel this primal resonance, yet now it is elusive and random at best.

Whatever the case, most of us are actually conditioned out of noticing our own arousal cues from a very young age… it is literally socialized out of us!

Finding Your Yoni-Pulse

Within every woman lives a deep secret, a secret that is measurable by modern instruments, yet its true purpose is hardly understood.

This secret is not of your mind.

Or even your heart. Although both are involved in it.

It is of your Yoni. Your genitals.

More specifically, it is related to the health and expression of your pelvic nerve.

There has been a correlation between strong yoni-pulses, a literal pulsing or throbbing inside our yoni, and stronger, consistent communication with our brain via our pelvic nerve.

Erotically, this means we have greater ease in accessing our deep pleasure.

Yet if all women are born with this pulse, so why do most  women suffer from its disappearing act?

“Don’t touch yourself like that, it’s dirty! Bad girl!”

How can something that feels so good, be so wrong? Is our wiring all mixed up?

No.

It is the adults who are all mixed up and unfortunately, this trend of ‘socializing young girls to be proper’ is literally turning down or completing shutting down this primal and essential communication between our yoni and our brain.

Mixed messages of feeling something is delicious and being told that it is bad is very damaging to our delicate and intrinsic nature.

Our yoni’s were not just designed to be a birthing canal and place for sexual interaction, they were also perfectly designed to give us accurate ‘readings’ of the world around us.

Women who have not lost this connection or those who reconnect with it say the same: they constantly get clear messages from their yoni’s on a daily basis.

They know when something is delicious and enlivening because their yoni pulses with more certainty and vigor.

They equally know when something is off as their yoni’s pulse becomes almost still and indistinguishable.

So what are we doing when we program little girls away from listening to their own deep inner guidance?

We are creating a world where women feel lost, disconnected, lifeless, numb, and unsure of themselves.

I want to feel my yoni-pulse please!

If we have lost touch with our deep instinctual wisdom, how can we reclaim it and reap the benefits of rekindling a profound trust in our own self?

1. Being Honest: The first step is to acknowledge that you are not fully attuned to your yoni-pulse.

2. Pay Attention & Notice: Make a choice to pay attention to your yoni in different situations. Sometimes you may notice her pulsing at the oddest moments. Do not discount her! Simply acknowledge to yourself that you are indeed ‘turned on’ and breathe into it.

3. Let Go Of stories: Don’t worry about justifying your turn-on, instead focus on actually feeling your turn-on and perhaps even amplifying it.

4. Allow Yourself To BE: Know that you don’t actually have to do anything about your turn-on, sometimes the greatest gift is just to be turned on.

5. Explore Slowly: Spend time exploring your yoni in an un-rushed, non-goal oriented way. In fact, the more you can relax and enjoy yourself, even to the point of just simply holding your yoni or a point inside of her, you will start to feel an exquisite pulse and even perhaps, a delicious tingle that will rise up your finger into your hand and arm.

6, Relax Profoundly: I cannot stress enough the importance of your ability to melt, soften, and relax completely. If you are not sure how to do this, start simply with the idea of melting open your pelvic floor. Once you think you have it, melt even more.

7. Positive Affirmation: Affirm your turn-on and its wisdom as often as you can. The more you do, the more you will feel and the more you will learn to trust this deep compass within you.

By awakening our yoni-pulse and reclaiming its exquisite pleasure and wisdom, we activate the center in our brain responsible for our self-esteem and courage and enter a world of transcendent beauty and creativity.

If it feels delicious to explore the genius within your pelvis, you may want to explore the Jade Egg practice, revealed in my book.

Spiritual Sex: Why Women Search For It & Don’t Find It

You know, deep down, there has got to be ‘more’ to sex than what you are currently living.

In fact, you no longer want to have sex unless it’s spiritual, yet the men you meet all seem clueless to this superior sexual state.

Intrigued by the possibility of experiencing an exquisite and refined sexual state, you realize that you have no idea how to get there.

Investigating both Tantric and Taoist sexual teachings, you find yourself wondering when the promised “Spiritual orgasm” will propel you out of boredom.

What is Spiritual Sex?

For some of us, it means a connection between Spirituality and Sexuality.

For others, it is slowing things down and meditating together.

And still for others, it is an aloof state whose promises sound intriguing, yet the practice to get there is unattractive.

Yet what if it had nothing to do with praying, ritual, or exotic sexual positions?

What if spiritual sex was a misnomer for a state of being that is natural to all people?

Perhaps our yearning to experience an union between spirituality and sexuality is the same yearning we have for experiencing ‘oneness’.

By taking our fragmented parts and reuniting them we experience the deep pleasure of wholeness.

Wholeness. Holiness.

Consider what we are really saying when we want to have a Spiritual Lover.

When we examine Spirituality, the end result of most Spiritual paths is the loss of desire and the permanent state of celibacy.

A spiritual lover—a person tuned into subtle sensations that move in their body—may or may not always be aware that we are there with them.

This seems to me that such a lover would be preoccupied with themselves and not as attentive as we may desire.

In truth, I sense we are looking for consciousness.

For a lover that is present and awake, and who has the ability to be attentive and sensitive to our body.

We yearn for things to slow down and we yearn for orgasms that reach beyond our pelvis into the realms of supernatural ecstasy.

But the greatest motivator for seeking spiritual sex is not what we think.

Somewhere, deep down, we believe sex is bad, dirty, or even harmful.

And the only way to consolidate our desire is to make it okay by saying it is spiritual. We want to make sex pristine, pure, and beautiful.

But no amount of ritual can transform sexuality from its primal impulses into an ‘out-of-body-connected-to-spirit’ experience.

This is why, time and time again, we are seduced by the ‘spiritual lingo’ used to get us into bed.

The worse part is not that someone pulled one over. It’s that we chose to believe their poetic words and blindly jumped into a sexual encounter.

Result: Dissatisfaction.

Feeling used. And confirmation that sex is bad and where are all the spiritual men anyway?

If spiritual sex doesn’t exist, then what?!

The experience of ‘transcendent sex’—sex that is beyond just the normal realm of the physical—is more common than we think.

In fact, every human being has within them the door to accessing their own deep consciousness. Many of us can actually access this without any formal practice.

Here is the kicker: Our unconsciousness makes sex profane or fragmented.

It is our consciousness, our ability to be deeply aware, that makes sex sacred.

Sexuality and spirituality are natural parts of who we are. Through awakening our awareness and bringing it into our erotic play, we make all erotic expressions sacred.

We are simultaneously sexual and spiritual. How can we not be?

Do we leave our genitals on the bedside table when leaving for work? They come with us no matter where we go and what we are doing!

The same goes for our consciousness, whether or not we recognize it, it is always with us, being witness to our life.

Before we throw up our hands and give up, consider the following:

  • We are innately hard-wired for transcendent sex.
  • The pressure to create a ‘spiritual’ sexual experience makes it more difficult if not impossible to experience.
  • By choosing to be with what is real and in the moment, we invite our erotic nature to be imbued with deep consciousness.
  • Awakened sexual experiences can happen whether or not our partner is experiencing the same state. In other words, experiencing sacred or spiritual sex doesn’t require both people to have the same experience.

Spiritual sex is our birthright.

By simply learning to be more present, more connected with ourselves, and more willing to let go of knowing what is suppose to happen, we can relax and enjoy what is actually happening, whether or not the angels are singing!

To be deep, conscious sex requires us to live a deep, conscious life. There is no separation between what happens in the bedroom and what happens on a daily basis.

Does the idea of waking up and enjoying the amazing subtle nuances of your erotic energy feel like something worthy of your time? A great place to start is with my book.

Secrets To Our Turn-on:

How Our Female Cycle & Brain Rhythms Affect Our Libido.

One moment you are so horny that even the furniture looks exciting and you start doing a lap-dance for your couch.

In the next days, you are bursting with irritability and wish the world would go away and stop demanding of your time and energy.

Yet at times, nothing could be more delicious than silky PJs and a snuggle while watching a great movie.

And at its worse, you are depressed and feel horribly fat and unattractive, wondering why your partner is still interested in you.

Are you psychotic?! No, you are female.

And as women, we are ever-changing, unpredictable, and exquisitely linked to the ebb and flow of our hormones.

Those who love us, revel in these shifts, while other runs for the hills.

Discovering Our Pleasure Gears

As much as we do not enjoy our body being referred to as cars, our hormones actually behave a little like a gear shift.

We have a high and low gear, as well as neutral and reverse.

High gear is our testosterone. This is when we are more aggressive, outgoing and go for what we want.

Low gear is estrogen combined with oxytocin and represents our proceptive  or seductive nature. Here we are more alluring and coy, the ‘come hither and claim me’ version of ourselves.

Neutral is estrogen on its own and it is, well, neutral. We can ‘take it or leave’ albeit sex, affection, socializing, etc.

Reverse is a mix of progesterone, prolactin, vasopressin, and serotonin. This literally can make us go in reverse and shut-down any of our desire and our ability to seduce and attract. It is our ‘leave me be or suffer the consequences’ gear.

Through understanding and navigating our hormonal peaks and valleys, we create more ease both for ourselves and those around us.

Girl Brain – Boy Brain?!?

But it doesn’t end there (if that was not already enough!).

Our cycles are not only fluctuate between hormones, but also the two hemispheres of our brain!

The ‘Blooming Phase’ is a time of the month where we are more in our left brain and more rational and focused.

While, in the ‘Cocooning Phase’ time of the month, we are in our right brain and emotional and intuitive.

Forcing ourselves to stay in our left brain for the entire month, we literally expect ourselves to be constantly focused and rational.

When we refuse to explore our right brain and constantly ignore our deeper emotional and intuitive signals, we disrupt Natures way of creating an exquisitely balanced and expressed life!

Only looking at the bright side of life, we cut ourselves off from invitations to develop our insight and consciousness.

Our ‘Cocooning Phase’—when we move away from outside stressors and retreat inwardly—is not something we often value or are comfortable with.

While most of us are pros at our ‘Blooming Phase’. As this is when we have the most beauty, aliveness, and enthusiasm for things outside of us.

Yet it is vital to our well-being.

When we forget to respect our natural rhythms or cycles, we start to directly compromise our system.

Continuing to do so, day in and day out, our body will eventually rebel and gift us with an imbalance such as obesity, chronic fatigue, and other issues.

We need to go in.

To take the time to be honest with ourselves and to discern what is no longer working in our life.

It is also a time to acknowledge and birth our deeper calling.

Do you know your deeper calling? 

Turn-on, believe it or not, is not just hormonal or part of our brain-waves. It is also living a life of deeper meaning.

If our sole meaning is our relationship or our kids or our job, we may feel like our passion, our umph for life has kicked of its dance shoes and retired.

Yet inside each of us is a deeper passion.

Something, if acknowledged, would reignite us and flush our cheeks with rosy enthusiasm.

Our deeper calling.

No matter what age we are, it is never too early or too late to tune into the source of our own passion.

The beauty is that it is calling us, day in and day out. Whispering to us through silent yearnings and screaming fits of emotion.

We would find not only a renewed sense of purpose, we would also notice that our hormones jig to the tune of succulence.

If we would only listen… and then act.

Discovering our cyclical nature and living with deep alignment to our own inner truth and inspiration is part of my core message.

Start to uncover your own cyclical wisdom and living a passionately inspired and juicy life!

The time is now.

If it feels delicious to explore this concept of your cyclical nature, you may enjoy my book: The Emergence of The Sensual WomanBe sure to put your name and email address below and join thousands of like-minded women in revolutionizing your sensual self today.