To Kegel or Not to Kegel:

How Too Much Of A Good Thing Is Bad For You.

We’ve all heard of doing at least 300 Kegels* per day to increase our pleasure and pelvic health.

In the 1940s, *Dr. Kegal created pelvic floor exercises (focusing on the PuboCoccygeus muscle aka PC muscle) which he prescribed along with using a Perineometer (biofeedback device) for incontinent women.

Now the problem is that we rarely see biofeedback devices being used with these exercises nor do we understand the implications of 300+ PC contractions/day.

In fact, doing so many contractions can actually lead to deteriorating our pelvic floor.

Squeezing For Pleasure

“In popular literature, Kegel’s exercises are most frequently described as those which have to do with the “stopping and starting the flow of urine”.  As a simple means of pubococcygeus muscle identification, this test is educational—but only for those who already have strong muscles.  It was never intended to be the “instructional tool” that it has become in women’s magazines. Indeed, Elizabeth Noble even warns against this practice, which often leads only to “anxiety, stress and loss of control”3.” – John D. Perry, PhD & Leslie Talcott Hullett, MS, RN

The popularity of ‘squeezing for pleasure’ and pelvic health has reached its peak, having been taken on by doctors, nurses, women’s magazines, and women’s health practitioners around the world.

There are literally hundreds of programs on how to ‘work-out’ the pelvic floor for the goal of a toned and tight vagina.

The problem is that these programs are creating both physical & psychological tension that result in a reduction in pleasure.

On a psychological level, it affirms that here is something insufficient or not-good-enough about our own sexual anatomy.

This thought alone can spiral us into anxiety and depression, which contributes to worsening our pelvic health as well as possibly reducing or killing our libido entirely.

On a physical level, the problem isn’t exercising the pelvis. In fact, our pelvic needs to be exercised regularly, daily preferably.

But as with any healthy exercise program, there needs to be:

1. a gentle warm-up

2. attuning the mind/consciousness with the area being exercised

3. the exercise itself being done with joy (joy has been found to exponentially increase positive results exercise)

4. a cool down of gentle stretches and relaxation

In fact, if a vagina is too strong and too tight, it can impede relaxation necessary for orgasm along with actually squeezing the penis so hard that a man can lose his erection!

The 2 Missing Ingredients to Exquisite Pelvic Health & Pleasure

When it comes to pleasure, tightness and tone are only 1/3 of the picture.

The other 2/3’s is covered by the principles of suppleness and dexterity.

Suppleness is our ability to relax and melt open our vagina and pelvic floor.

Suppleness leads to greater and deeper orgasms. 

Too much tension in our pelvic muscles can inhibit healthy blood flow needed to engorge our genitals as well as possibly inhibiting sensation.

So contracting and relaxing are absolutely essential to our ability to cultivate our deeper pleasure potential.

Most of us find it fairly easy to squeeze and contract, whereas few of us really understand how to deeply melt open and soften our pelvic floor.

Then there is dexterity—our ability to skillfully use our pelvic muscles.

Dexterity of the vagina is hardly known or spoken of, yet it is the KEY secret to profound pleasure for women!

Our vagina is surrounded by layers of different pelvic floor muscles and when we learn how to access, squeeze and contract them, we literally awaken our vagina in ways we never dreamed of.

The more skill we have in ‘playing the flute’ (squeezing and relaxing different sections of our vagina), the more we awaken our vagina and the more we claim our deep, pelvic pleasure for ourselves!

Here’s the thing, vagina’s barely wake up by strong contractions and/or thrusting alone.

Spiral movements of a skilled finger, toy, or penis starts to increase sensation in our vagina.

But the true awakening happens when there is no external movement, but rather with a range of exquisite internal movements (equally resulting in gorgeous pleasure for our partner as well).

This means that we literally pleasures ourself through rippling, milking, pulsing movements of our vagina.

These movements ennervate our vagina and send exquisite signals of orgasmic pleasure throughout our pelvis and whole body, igniting our brains so we literally experience a transcendent connection with life.

Best of all, its never too late to learn, refine, and enjoy our very own awakened and dextrous yoni.

If it feels delicious for you to explore and deepen your pleasure potential, check out my unique, in-depth Jade Egg practice. Click to get your own copy of my book and enjoy exploring the Jade Egg.

16 replies
  1. Jerry Smith
    Jerry Smith says:

    To do or not to do is a big debatable question,Actually Kegel exercises imparts strength to our PC muscles.It is important along with other exercises.It should not be ignored but at the same time should be done under guidance and with great safety.And it is true that excess of anything is harmful.

  2. Shu-Shu
    Shu-Shu says:

    Hello: I am ready to get started. I imagine I need the egg, string, and your book, correct? I am 47 and I’d like to master the movement of my pelvic floor and tighten up my entire area and hold my bladder.

  3. Olive
    Olive says:

    I second the vote for your bravery! Thank you for hosting your very special corner of the interwebs. Your book and the practices in there have centered me in my being and becoming like no others. They are accessible, unlike so much of the taoist writings, and you write so inspiringly about the real-life issues that surround the practices. It’s like having my own personal mentor through the process of rediscovering my vitality … thank you so much.

  4. Penny
    Penny says:

    I love noticing the responses in my body with the jade egg practice, even during meditation. It’s beautiful learning, I treasure it and I’m wondering when to introduce a second egg and which exercises to do with them? I regularly do the healing sounds. The exercises I do with the egg vary and are a little sporadic right now, but as I learn I can see the foundation they set up helps. This is making such a difference for me. Very Grateful Saida.

    • Saida
      Saida says:

      Aloha Penny, I do not teach how to use a 2nd egg because I have never been able to do it myself. I can’t seem to fit 2 properly to move them! ha! So, I don’t teach what I haven’t mastered myself. 🙂

      As for knowing when to add a practice, trust your inner guidance… that is the key to this practice!

      • Penny
        Penny says:

        Thank you for the reply Saida, there’s so much to learn without a second egg, it’s such a wonderful process, I was never focused on or had an vagina agenda, but it is very special learning, very grateful for your teachings, and now so curious….may have to try it at some point. Lots of love, truly.

  5. Laura
    Laura says:

    I am 59. I recently had the flu for over 3-weeks. the virus entered my muscles and I could barely hold my urnine in. I want to heal my yoni and bladder muscles. What can I do to ensure pleasure health?

  6. Q
    Q says:

    Thank you for the inspiring article! I was starting to feel “lazy” in a sense that I don’t have my egg in every single day of every hour. But I realize that I don’t need to… I’ve been experiencing that when I go a few days without using my egg and then come back to it, I’m more sensitive and have better control during my exercises than when I try to go on marathons of wearing it every day. Thanks Saida! BTW, just shared your article with a group of women on FB who practice with the yoni egg. Men are included in the group, and asked the men to share their thoughts on being with a woman with a yoni too tight/strong. I can’t wait to see what they respond with 🙂

  7. Fonda
    Fonda says:

    this is a wonderful, necessary article honoring the suppleness and fullness of the vagina. Thank you for your continued bravery and enlightening conversation.

  8. April
    April says:

    I love this wisdom about our yoni. We always speak so much about tightness, but what about the pleasure. My question is how often should you wear your egg inside? I hear many women say everyday for hours. But I’m wondering that be too excessive?

  9. KAtrina
    KAtrina says:

    Yes Saida…this is the point I’m at as well. The movement to ‘lift’ the most weights and have the tightest yoni is very unappealing to me. For me, it’s dexterity that creates teh most pleasure. Making her ‘belly dance’ is awesome entertainment too! *giggle*


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