The Art Of Flirting:

5 Surprising Secrets To Conscious Flirting.

Do you remember the feeling of your heart racing as a random stranger gives you a gorgeous smile and says something playful to you?

Or perhaps you are feeling particularly juicy and find yourself smiling and engaging in a fun banter with your local grocer?

Or maybe you have notice how your friend always seems to charm everyone while you feel a little unnoticed?

Flirting is more than just a smile and some quirky lines, flirting is how we celebrate the beauty of being alive.

Flirting is Natural & Necessary

Flirting is for all ages and is actually the lubricant of delight in our world.

I’m not speaking about the type of flirting that is locked into a goal of ‘getting something’ or just purely ‘sexual’ in its intent.

The true expression of flirting is a genuine desire to share in the beauty of life and ignite another person, even for a brief moment.

Flirting of this kind is never inappropriate and nor is it something we need to read a book on, it is something all of us naturally know.

It is our ability to see beauty in others along with the desire to see this beauty shine even brighter.

5 insights to Artful Flirting

1. Beauty Within and Without

Artful flirting is not possible if we do not acknowledge beauty, within ourselves and others.

This means we must seek to experience and express our own innate beauty regularly.

It also means defining for yourself what beauty is and allowing beauty to touch you profoundly, actually opening you up to the deep experience of aliveness within you.

2. Authentic Warmth

Another secret to successful flirting is to spend time opening your heart.

Discover what burdens your heart and do your best to transform that and make new choices.

You will find yourself falling in love with yourself which naturally translates into having a warm, authentic presence.

3. Marrying Our Heart and Erotic Nature

This inner marriage is yet another fundamental must in artful flirting and succulent living.

This is when your emotional nature is allowed to blossom, mature, and to become a lover with your erotic nature.

It is also when your own sexuality is honored for her wisdom, innocence and intelligence.

Your erotic nature yearns to be met by the radiant respect of your heart.

This union within you gives you access to delicious, new, subtle (but not so subtle) experiences of your pleasure as your birthright.

It also creates a gourmet relationship with yourself which allows you to go out into the world from an abundant place of true desire and creativity.

4. Igniting Delight Within

Igniting delight within yourself is the fourth insight to living a succulent and artfully flirtatious life.

Looking at your current definition of delight and possibly refining and expanding upon it can do wonders for opening up to new levels of delight.

Delight is a result of an open heart and alive sensuality. It is your capacity to perceive and sense beauty and pleasure in the world and to translate it internally as deliciousness.

5. Letting go of Goals

Flirting is often connected with sex being the end result.

But flirting with a specific goal can also lead to disappointment, or worse, manipulating others so we can have our needs satisfied.

Therefore, being able to let go of the need to ‘make someone’ react a certain way to our ‘flirtatious’ offering allows us to come from a place of generosity versus a place of lack.

This shift allows us to flirt as a way of sharing our aliveness with integrity and sensitivity.

It becomes something amazingly invigorating and fulfilling, in of itself!

The Dark Side of Flirting

Saying all of that, it is important to pay homage to the dark-side of flirting.

We live in a world that has a skewed view on sensuality and sexuality and for some, flirting can only be seen as manipulative or debasing.

Of course, they have missed the point (and the joy!).

But it is also wise to understand that not everyone will respond to flirting with delight.

Once we know this and once we are truly aligned to the Art of Flirting itself, we can then pick and choose our moments so that we only bring more positive connection into the world.

So the next time you are at a check-out counter and the clerk asks if you need anything else, you might answer, “Yes” and pause for a moment to see if they are listening. With eye contact say, “A smile would make my day.” 9 times out of 10, they will break into a brilliant smile.

If living more artfully with your playful sensuality is something that turns you on, you may delight in exploring my Art of Succulent Living philosophy. Click here to enjoy my book.

5 replies
  1. Rachael
    Rachael says:

    Saida! What exceptional writing and expression of these 5 insights! I can see this article in a beauty magazine that many women read, like Glamour (or the coolest version of a Beauty magazine one might imagine). Yes, yes yes! Falling in love with yourself, defining your own Beauty, igniting your delight, cultivating a juicy relationship with yourself… how much meaning and beauty you have brought to flirting! I love it! (Being a Libra, I am quite a fan of flirting – with little kids, with animals, with men and women, everyone.) I like to share and ignite playfulness wherever I go. Imagine this world being a playful place to be rather than a place where most of us feel we need to work most of the time. 😉 So much love to you!!

  2. April
    April says:

    Love this, Saida! Thanks for reminding me of the inner marriage between my emotional and erotic selves, and the need to continually, joyfully choose to open the heart. Thank you for your various and abundant gifts!

  3. Trish
    Trish says:

    I love this insight, Saida! Particularly where you point out that integrity and sensitivity are required — and NOT simply “using” someone to feed our ego. Beautifully stated.


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