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4 Questions To Stop You From Saying Yes When You Really Mean No

“Will you stay late to get that project done?”

How often have you said “Yes” to this kind of request even though you were looking forward to a special night with your partner/kids/dog/yourself?

“We really need another volunteer for this. Can we expect you there?”

How often have you said “Yes” to this kind of request even though your schedule is already maxed out with other obligations and responsibilities?

“Honey, can you drop this off at the dry cleaners today?”

“Mom, can you help me with my science project? It’s due tomorrow.”

“Darling, it will just take a moment, will you take care of that for me?”

How often have you said, “Yes, yes, yes,” when what you really wanted to say was, “NO! NO! NO!”?

If you’re like most women, you’ve said YES when you really meant NO too many times to count. Possibly a gazillion times. I know. I get it. This is truly an epidemic.

Why is it so hard to say NO to others?

Women have been socialized to be sweet, pleasant and accommodating. We are taught that saying NO is rude, impolite and unacceptable. We’ve been raised to say YES so that we avoid conflict, please others and don’t rock the boat.

But here’s a hard truth to swallow:

Everytime we say YES to others when what we really want to say is NO, we are saying NO to ourselves, over and over and over again.

So while our YES might keep the peace with others, our internal NO erodes trust in ourselves and our integrity, every single time we say YES when we mean NO.

Take this in for a moment… it’s a difficult truth, isn’t it?

You can continue to be out of alignment with yourself if you choose. You can continue to say YES when you really mean NO. But be aware of the cost of this. As you erode trust in yourself you create inner dis-harmony. This leads to dis-ease, dissatisfaction and resentment.

Or you can choose right now, in this moment, to honor your truth going forward. The more you honor your truth, the more you are in contact with your core and the essence of who you are. The more in harmony you are with yourself, the more ease and vitality you experience.

Integrity means speaking your truth with love and power. Integrity is also living by your own truth while remaining in alignment with the greatest good of humanity.

When you say NO when you mean NO you actually contribute to the greater good of humanity. I know this may challenge everything you’ve learned about life and relationships and what is acceptable. Yet it’s very true.

Because what this allows you to do is to say YES to what you really desire to say YES to.

When you say YES to your true desires, you have greater self-trust and integrity. Which leads to greater vitality. Which leads to you contributing more of your unique, passionate, creative expression and gifts to the world.

So my dear one, I invite you to consider four very powerful questions:

  1. What do you really desire?It can be anything! Perhaps you desire to get a massage, go to Maui for a vacation, or get a new sexy dress. Or perhaps you desire to get pregnant, find a lover, rekindle the spark in your relationship… Or enjoy pain-free sex, release shame, experience mind-blowing sex, love your body, have more confidence… Or get a latte on your way to work… Or pick up some strawberries and go play hooky in the park…Whatever it is, get clear and honest with yourself. Your desires are a beautiful thing. They are a compass directing you to what is important, true and nourishing for you.
  2. What (and who) have you been saying YES to that supports your desires?Great! Congratulations. This is important to acknowledge. Keep choosing more of this so you continue forward in alignment with what is most important to you.
  3. What (and who) have you been saying YES to that does not support your desires?Again, be honest with yourself. Are you saying yes to your boss’ or business partner’s requests? Your partner’s? Your kid’s? Your mom’s? Requests to stay longer? Volunteer more? Take on more responsibilities?Acknowledging what is not supporting what you truly desire is the first step to changing this so you can get on track with being in harmony with yourself.
  4. What do you need to say NO to in order to say YES to what you desire?This is where you get to be really honest with yourself. Identifying this is essential for getting out of this self-imposed trap. Then choosing to say YES to yourself and NO to others is the next step for you to take to come into greater alignment with yourself and your desires.

Together, let’s put an end to this epidemic of saying YES when you mean NO. It’s time to get aligned and say NO when you mean NO and YES when you mean YES.

I love hearing from you! Share your answers to these four powerful questions in the comments below. And most importantly, let me know, are you willing to choose right now in this moment to honor your truth going forward?

(Psst… If you desire having more pleasure and vitality in your life and relationships, experiencing pain-free and enjoyable sex and even mind-blowing orgasms, check out my Jade Egg Mastery Program here. This is your chance to say YES to what you really desire!)

Jade Egg Mastery – It’s Not Just About How Much Weight You Can Lift

Are you curious about the Jade Egg practice?

Have you wondered what it’s all about or how to actually, step-by-step learn how to masterfully use a Jade Egg?

Maybe you’ve heard that the Jade Egg can transform all of your emotional wounds and sexual inhibitions, leaving you with lasting sexual confidence?

Or perhaps you’ve been seduced into believing that having a ‘super-pussy’ through lifting weights with your vagina will ensure better orgasms and keep your lover loyal?

Or believe that through the power of your vagina alone you’ll able to control your man’s ejaculation?

If any of these apply to you, then you are part of the emerging mass interest in the Jade Egg practice.

This means you’ve also been absorbing the wide-spread, inappropriate instruction about the jade Egg along with many other false promises and potentially harmful practices.

But don’t worry, this isn’t your fault.

In fact, it’s rather a common phenomena when a deep ancient practice is introduced to our give-me-a-quick-solution modern society: there will always be a loss of integrity and depth.

Over the past 20 years of personal and professional practice, I’ve experienced a profound evolution in my own understanding of the Jade Egg practice and it’s impact on women.

In fact, not only did I learn what worked and didn’t work through receiving direct feedback of from tens of thousands of women world-wide, but I also did a pilot study examining and measuring the effects of the Jade Egg practice on the psycho-sexual health of women for my PhD dissertation.

The results of my study in combination with considering the latest, cutting-edge scientific research on sexuality resulted in a major overhaul of the original teachings so that they could better suit the true needs of modern women and lead to lasting, life-long results.

A key insight that emerged, one that lies at the foundation of my method, is that we are psycho-sexual beings and deserve to ignite the totality of our sensual/sexual nature, not just be obsessed with ‘vagina power’ alone.

We are not just our genitals, our sexuality and sensuality includes the totality of who we are.

Your sexuality and sensuality not a currency or commodity meant to be used in exchange of whatever it is you desire more of in your life.

It is your birthright. A natural, powerful, life-giving part of who you innately are as woman.

To attempt to squeeze the vastness of your femininity into the tiny box of ‘goal-oriented’ techniques and ideals is to impoverish your experience of your own pleasure.

To limit your sexuality to how much weight you can lift with your vagina or how many vaginal tricks you can do is like saying that to drive a car all you need to do is push or turn all the buttons and dials on your dashboard.

It’s sensationalist and immature.

The good news is, more and more of women are waking up and coming back home to themselves, discerning the gold from the hype, and claiming for themselves the living wisdom of their beautiful body.

If you’d love to learn more about how to master the Jade Egg practice, ignite your own unique erotic intelligence and to cultivate wholeness and profound sexual vitality and pleasure, you may want to check out my current invitation to do a LIVE intensive with me: CLICK TO DISCOVER MORE ABOUT JADE EGG MASTERY

 

 

Conscious Hedonism

What is your relationship with pleasure as a daily practice?

Do you hold your pleasure in a great state of reverence?

Or is it something you are still sometimes feeling guilty or shame about?

Hedonism tends to have a bad rap, but it’s roots are quite astonishing!

In this new delicious tip video, I explore what Conscious Hedonism really is, where it comes from and what the true meaning behind enjoying pleasure.

Your opinion matters to me. Be sure to leave me your thoughts below so we can continue to explore the true meaning of hedonism in our lives.

In reverence to your pleasure,

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The Phenomenon Of The Jade Egg – Part 2

A Tiny Tool Of Transformation – Part 2

“I’m addicted to food, I have been most of my life, and I want to share that after using the Jade Egg, I no longer have an addictive relationship with food.”

“I’m 73 years old and I’ve lived without much libido, however, since introducing the Jade Egg into my life, I appreciate the necessity of living a turned-on life.”

“I’m a compulsive buyer, but when I wear my Jade Egg shopping, I notice that I don’t buy as much or anything at all.”

“When I fight with my partner about money, my Jade Egg immediately falls out. I’ve learned where in my life I give away my power.”

“Using the Jade Egg helped me clear decades of suppressed sexual trauma, I never knew I could feel this safe and sexually alive.”

This is only a small sample of the profound feedback I receive from women​,​ reveal​ing​ that there’s much more to the Jade Egg practice than pelvic tone and delicious orgasms.

Psycho-Sexual Beings

We are fundamentally psycho-sexual beings—our psyche/mind/emotions is deeply intertwined with our sexuality—one cannot exist without the other, no matter how much we may try and keep them separate from one another.

Our sexuality is more than the act of ‘doing’ something about it, it’s essentially a deep part of ‘who’ we are—To be fully expressed in our own sensual/sexual nature, we must equally have access to and be expressed in our emotional nature and vice-versa.

Consider this an inborn relationship between our earthly body and our sweet, mammalian inheritance, one that has the potential to birth our own unique genius into the world.

The 3 Unspoken Gifts Of Using A Jade Egg

We predominantly focus on the functional aspect of sexuality, looking at how ‘this or that’ technique can create ‘such & such’ results.

Yet the real gifts of using the Jade Egg silently await our notice, reflecting the ‘deeper meaning’ of our sexuality:

​1. Reconnection to self
​2. Healing of the psycho-sexual
3. Emotional & sexual evolution

Reconnection To Self

My personal practice, academic research, and teaching tens of thousands of women world-wide, has shown me the inseparable nature of our sensual/sexual self with our deep hearts and intelligent minds.

Time and time again, I’ve witnessed how soft, alive, and glowing a woman becomes when she comes home to herself along with how much more effective and creative she is in the World.

Our womb is our inner sanctum, a place to access our wisdom, our power, our inborn genius.

We all come from this magical, profound place, yet we rarely treat her with the respect she deserves.

In fact, most of us use our wombs as psychic garbage cans, stuffing her with the emotions that we’re unwilling to feel or face.

It’s for this reason that it’s crucial to enter the Jade Egg practice with reverence, knowing that we are fundamentally engaging in both re-patterning our personal relationship with our sexual core and re-patterning the actual cellular memory of this area of our body.

This re-patterning cannot happen purely through talk therapy or visualizations, we must be willing to touch our beautiful body with love and openness.

It is through this quiet act of reconnection with our own inner guidance that we suddenly feel the love and acceptance we’ve always sought for externally and recognize that we belong to ourselves.

Through this shift in perception, we become part of a world-wide sisterhood that communicates not through words, but though the silent, pulsing aliveness that is transmitted & received by all wombs.

This is no small feat and it is the seed of birthing our greatness into the World.

Healing The Psycho-Sexual Self

Because sexual healing or the need for it is so prevalent in our modern world, it is clear that for most of us, it is a part of becoming an initiated woman.

Using the Jade Egg has profound impact on healing, both physically and psychologically, but it is not the actual Jade Egg that is doing the healing.

It is the symbolism that we assign to the Jade Egg (along with our conscious practice) that acts as an anchor for our choice to reconnect with ourselves, to honor ourselves, and to celebrate ourselves as sensual/sexual being.

Therefore, every time we think of the Jade Egg or consciously use it, we are activating this choice and giving ourselves the opportunity to unveil the true intelligence of our Erotic Genius™.

Our traumas hold within them a doorway into our most potent gifts. When we love ourselves back into wholeness and allow the slowest part of us to set the pace of our lives, true healing unfolds naturally.

I’ve witnessed women transform themselves over and over again through taking the time to engage in this conscious practice of activating their sensual/sexual self while softening open their heart and mind.

Emotional Sexual Evolution

Evolution is now in our hands, we cannot afford to wait another 100,000 years for humans to understand their intimate relationship with life, hence the necessity for the third hidden gift of using the Jade Egg: An acceleration of our maturity process.

We all are where we are meant to be on our journey of life, and as each of us wakes up to our own genius, we naturally become curious about harnessing this inborn resource.

The practice of the Jade Egg can be empty, deceptive, and lead to nowhere when it’s done purely as a physical practice and/or one that is meant to “awaken you spiritually” as an end result.

The key to using the Jade Egg for evolutionary acceleration is to come to it understanding that we are the ones creating the change within us. A change the demands our immediate attention, our willingness to die to how we believe things should be, as well as our willingness to reveal the depth of our own magnificence.

Our journey is not meant to be depicted by others, it is meant to be informed by the living, breathing Erotic Genius™ we all innately possess.

It is through the conscious and correct use of the Jade Egg that we are able to benefit not only physically with more radiant sexual health and pleasure, but equally psychologically with renewed emotional resilience and transparency ​, all of which are key to offering our genius to the World.​​​

If you’d love to deepen your journey through the Art of Succulent Living and using a Jade Egg, I recommend starting with my book: Emergence of the Sensual Woman.

If you enjoyed this article, please like, share it, join the Succulence Revolution, & leave me your thoughts below in the comment section.

If you missed part 1 of this series, Click here

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Delicious Tip: Sensual Pelvis

Would you like to unlock more of your libido?

For this month’s delicious tip, I will share with you a fun way of unleashing more aliveness in your body!

In fact, when this exercise was given to seniors, it was found that after only 1 week of practice, the seniors reported a renewed vigor and turn-on!!

Plus, it’s super fun to do! In fact, I encourage you to really get creative with this one!

Unleash the delicious energy of your pelvis.

This will awaken your digestion, pelvis, genitals, lower back and give you more pleasure during sex, childbirth, and life in general.

If this video was fun for you, please like it, share it and let me know what happened as you explored this month’s tip on your sensual pelvis.

Note: All comments left below are hosted on my site, not on YouTube.

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