Why Focus On Pleasure…

When The World Is Hurting?!

How could I possibly focus on pleasure when there is so much pain and suffering in the World? That feels completely juvenile! 

Everyday I hear of another disaster or another hardship that people in the world are suffering from, I honestly can’t make time for such petty things as personal pleasure.

My children and my husband need me! I don’t have time for myself, especially not my erotic self, are you crazy?!

All the sexual abuse and sexual disease in the world makes me feel like I would rather never be sexual again, just to be safe.

Why we have no time for pleasure.

Pleasure is connected to leisure. Two words foreign to most women.

Face it, we have much work to do and a mountain of responsibilities! Who has time for pleasure?!

Who doesn’t?!

Pleasure is part of our human experience. We are designed to actually move towards pleasure and away from pain.

Our body functions more optimally when we are running a current of pleasure versus the current of stress.

In fact, stress wears us out.

Stress ages us rapidly and makes us short-tempered. It also increases our chances of housing a disease with each moment we spend stressed out.

So if we really were sincere about caring for others, we first would care for ourselves.

Why offer them anything but the best?

When we give from a place of resentment, others feel this. Even if you try to hide it, it is obvious as a pink elephant in the room.

And if our system were to get sick, those who we care for would suddenly be forced to care for us. There are many stories of young children having to age beyond their years and care for sick parents.

When we do this, we rob children of the carefree joys of childhood, burdening them too quickly with the hard truths of life. Therefore, keeping ourselves functioning at our best is vital if we are to genuinely have a positive and impactful presence in the lives of those we love.

The disease of stress.

Stress is contagious.

Have you ever been in a room with a stressed out person? It’s impossible not to feel it! Your own stomach tightens, your own breath gets more shallow, and your expanded spirit starts to contract.

Why?

We are mammals. We have a mammalian brain. This part of us connects us to every other living mammal in our proximity.

In fact, it is through this silent language that we communicate the most powerfully.

Dr. Thomas Lewis, Author of a General Theory of Love, states:

“Because our minds seek one another through limbic resonance, because our physiologic rhythms answer to the call of limbic regulation, because we change one another’s brains through limbic revision—what we do inside relationships matters more than any other aspect of human life.”

Simply put: who we are has tremendous impact on others.

Wouldn’t you want to offer another inspiration, beauty, comfort, delight, and love?

It is within all of us to give the real gift of love: our whole, radiant self.

But we have nothing honest to offer if we are suffering on any level of our being, albeit physical, emotional, psychological or spiritual.

What is the single most value offering we can give?

The best of who we are.

What does this mean? It means to be healthy and radiant on every level of our being.

By having good physical health, we can enjoy others and we have more energy to give to others! In fact, it is impossible to very efficient when our own energy is low or non-existent.

With good emotional and psychological health, we are able to see the gifts in others and in all of our situations. We have healthy boundaries and we empower others to empower themselves.

We also become people that others love being around and are inspired by.

With our pleasure, others experience pleasure. This means that their hormonal system shifts out of its detrimental stress circuit and starts to synchronize itself with cascades of living enhancing hormones.

So does this mean we cannot have bad days or get sick?

Not at all. It does means that when we do we love ourselves as human.

We allow others to see that we are vulnerable, just as they are, and we are willing to receive as much as we are willing to give.

When we live from a more pleasureful and balanced place, we literally teach our children, family members, and friends how to live that way too.

When more people are in a healthy state, we then have more energy and more intelligence to resolve our local and global issues.

Nothing can be more valuable then taking a few minutes per day to fill our pleasure tank and live from a more aligned, inspired, and radiant place.

Does caring for yourself AND having both energy and time to contribute to your family and community turn you on? Click here to get my book  and jump into the Art of Succulent Living Today.

The Bad Boy Syndrome:

Why All Women Need To Go Through It.

You have wonderful guy friends, but when it comes to sexual attraction, its the bad boy that you want.

But the bad boy doesn’t know what the sweet ones do, and unavoidably, he breaks your heart though treating you like a doormat.

You notice that you are not the only one that pines over the tough guy, almost every woman you know is falling for him.

Desperate to be chosen, you give up your body before you want to and put up with his disrespectful antics.

Frustrated, you cry on your nice guy-friend’s shoulder. He’s always there for you, listening, supporting, and caring for you. But you are not at all attracted to him.

The Bad Boy Syndrome

You know exactly what this is.

We all do.

We all, at one point or another, fall for the “bad” boy.

He makes us feel wild, sexy, and free.

It’s hot, delicious, and enlivening. And we love it!

But he treats us like we don’t mean anything.

Plus he has the emotional intelligence of a toad and could care less if we feel heart-broken because he already has moved on to the next half-crazed female.

All in all, he’s a complete ***hole.

And if he were to smile at us, we’d do it all over again.

A woman’s ‘bad’ boy initiation.

So why do ‘bad’ boys play an important role in the sexual initiation of women?

At first glance, this has to do with simply biological urges and signals. It’s a proven fact that bad boys have a tendency to have more testosterone then the good ones.

High testosterone makes women feel more feminine. It’s simple science.

Their very smell drives us wild with desire.

Once there, we can’t think straight and the rest is history!

Yet there is an important role that these ‘bad’ boys play. They give us a new paradigm for the masculine, outside of the known Father & Brother roles.

They invite us into the erotic world of desire and delight. It is when we discover we are more than just a sweet girl.

We are naturally wild women that have been conditioned to forget this fact.

The ‘bad’ boy is a reminder of who we are, an awakening to our crazy desires and our deep yearning for pleasure.

The gift of bad boys…

The first gift is the initiation into the erotic through the primal activation of our hormones.

Responding to our hormones is, at best, what we can handle when we are teens and young adults.

We literally are insane with reproductive urges that are beyond our logical mind.

Yet there is more to this picture then the dance of our hormones.

Learning from direct experience.

Experiencing an asshole boyfriend or lover, at least once, is a fantastic way to learn about what we don’t want (and what we want too!).

The key here is to only do it once.

But there’s a problem.

These bully’s and their ways imprint us in profound ways and if we do not bring our attention to this, it can set us on a path of seeking men who are ‘bad’ (at relationship) for a very long time!

Thankfully, as much as we can stay stuck or addicted to men who treat us like trash, we also can recover our wits and self-respect.

It is important to honor our ‘bad’ boy experiences with a sense of humor.

In fact, most of these types of men have often kick-started our own erotic wildness, which is something to be grateful for!

Breaking free from the spell of erotic wildness, we have an opportunity to blossom, not just sexually, but emotionally.

As women, we must be initiated into our self-love.

Most often we learn more from hardship then from sweetness, hence the commonality of the asshole syndrome!

By learning to give ourselves the things we did not receive from our unconscious lovers, we literally become more of who we are.

This is really the deeper gift of this life experience.

Good is boring, Bad is fun, or is it?

There is a point in our lives where we start to step out of the polarity of good-bad and entering a realm far more creative.

Here we start to see that every person has both good and bad, boring and fun, etc within them.

As we learn to harmonize our own internal good girl-bad girl, we free up our erotic to be much more wholistic.

In fact, we start to attract a partner who has deep respect and reverence for us while also being wild and playful.

That is the best and most juicy combination. One that we all, men and women alike, must consciously embrace and embody.

Then we no longer have any limitations on our erotic. We no longer bargain our sex to be loved. We no longer compromise our tender parts in order to feed our wildness.

Would you love to embrace your wildness, your erotic along with your heart? My book is a great place to start! Click here to get it now!


 

 

 

Menopause: 5 Biggest Lies Exposed

If you believe sex and sensuality are over and a thing of youth, think again!

Menopause is not the end, but the beginning.

It is the beginning of the most sexual, sensual, expressed, and powerful time in a woman’s life. 

What was that?!

Isn’t it a time when our ovaries retire and our world recedes into loving grand-children and baking cookies for Bingo?

Thankfully, that is not the truth!

Menopause is our initiation into the power stage of our life. This doesn’t mean we suddenly gain power and rule over the world, but it does mean we are invited to claim our full sovereignty, and yes, sensuality!

What is in your way of being the most alive, juicy, pleasure-full woman now?

For the most part, it’s you.

You would believe yourself insane if the way in which you regard yourself and what you believe to be true didn’t fully realize itself.

So, how do you regard yourself? Do you see yourself as old? Drying up? Unsexy? Undesirable? Because if you do, this will be what you ‘act as true’ in your life.

What would happen to your reality if you suddenly chose to regard yourself as beautiful? Juicy and vibrant? Full of pleasure yet to be explored and experienced? Notice how those statements feel in your body.

If you don’t have the best self-image and deepest self-love, its not your fault!!! There is a multi-billion dollar industry which shameless publishes ‘studies’ that ‘prove’ that menopause is a ‘disease’, causing us to age and become sexless, thus, convincing us we need their drugs in order to be healthy.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

In order to more fully comprehend this radical shift of perspective, we must first be willing to die to a few ideas we believe to be truths:

Lie #1: Ovaries stop working after menopause.

Fact: Ovaries of healthy women continue to function for the duration of their life!

Lie #2: Estrogen levels go down with menopause, thus, we must take hormones to supplement our body.

Fact: With all the toxins and poisons we are exposed to on a regular basis (as well as the ones we consciously ingest) contribute to over-loading our Liver. When our Liver no longer properly regulates our estrogen levels, we can actually end up with too much estrogen!

Lie #3: Our ovaries are our only source of estrogen & progesterone.

Fact: Actually, along with our ovaries, our adrenal glands and body fat also produce these hormones.

Lie #4: Hot flashes are due to estrogen deficiency and are relieved by hormone therapy.

Fact: Hot flashes are more closely related to life-style choices than to estrogen levels. They actually occur at any age and funnily, do not exist in women who live away from pollution, who eat a diet of whole foods, and who exercise regularly.

Lie #5: Vaginal Dryness is due to insufficient estrogen and caused by menopause.

Fact: Dryness can occur at any time in a woman’s life and is not directly related to an estrogen problem. The more active women are sexually, the less prone to dryness they are. “If you don’t use it, you lose it” 

So does that all mean? It means GREAT NEWS!!!

Menopause is a time when ‘enough is enough.’

For one, if we have spent most of our life abusing our body and not providing her with the best food, rest, and exercise, then now is not too late to start! What could you do today towards delighting in your body?

If we have ignored or dishonored our emotions for the majority of our life, they will definitely make their presence known, if not consciously, then unconsciously through the creation of a ‘dis-ease’ or injury or ‘dis-function’.

Menopause offers us the chance to review our lives and make new, powerful, juicy choices that will not only honor our deepest truth, but fully express them shamelessly.

If we have never claimed our passion, we will be invited to do so lest we start to dry up and die to the Mystery of Life itself.

What makes you purr from the inside out? 

What have you always longed for and have’t yet said yes to? 

The more we activate our passion, the more pleasure we will feel, and the more pleasure we feel, the more healthy and gorgeous we become.

Having taught thousands of women world-wide, I have been honored to witness those in their 50s, 60s, 70s, and yes, even 80s reclaim their body and their succulence. It is never too late to transform our body into its true potential of unlimited pleasure and beauty and health. A great way to begin reclaiming your sensuality and aliveness is starting with my book: Emergence of the Sensual Woman, Click to buy now.

Betrayal:

The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me.

How can it be the best thing when it is so utterly painful that you feel your heart will be forever broken into a million pieces.

And the ghosts of a past betrayal haunt your current relationship, making it very painful and difficult to trust again.

Just when you finally can open your heart, you experience yet another betrayal, this time you feel broken beyond repair.

Because of your poorly mended heart, you can never fully surrender to the love that is present and instead you keep creating suspicious reasons to reinforce your pain-story.

Perhaps, to gain some power back, you have become the “other woman” and have seduced a ‘taken’ partner from their relationship.

Whatever the scenario, betrayal hurts.

And the pain can last a lifetime, if we don’t know how to turn it around. If we forget that betrayal is actually an invitation.

Yes, betrayal is an invitation.

As overwhelming the pain of betrayal can be, it actually holds no power over us, except the one we assign to it.

Most of us would love to move on, to be able to have an innocent heart again, and to be able to love fearlessly.

Yet we can’t.

No matter who is with us, we see the past edging in.

In fact, some of us are so good at keeping betrayal alive that our current partner has no choice but to play this out and betray us as well.

But what does it mean: Betrayal?

In the dictionary, it refers to betrayal to be either treacherously giving information to an enemy or to be disloyal to someone.

Just for a moment, let’s step back from our pain and use an eagle’s eye to view the situation.

Scenario:

You are dying inside. You need something new.

Something to wake you out of your slumber.

You discover a passion and it possesses your every waking thought. If you do not pursue it and live it, it means death.

Will you betray yourself for the sake of keeping everyone happy or will you risk the venom of being a betrayer only to be loyal to the deep calling in your heart?

Because this is what is alive in every betrayer, whether or not they are conscious of it.

And the betrayed?

As long as we remain convinced of our victimhood, we will forever wallow in the agony of loneliness and heartache.

It takes deep courage to see a situation for what it is.

I was betrayed.

Not once, but many times.

Each time came as a painful surprise. Each time it hit me like an angry Mack truck, smashing my reality and dreams simultaneously.

Yet the last time it happened, I did something different.

Which is why I chose to write this.

Yes, I was in profound agony and confusion, but a part of me grew curious. She wanted to know if I could forgive and love anyway.

And I did.

I loved deeply. So much so that I was moved by my capacity for love.

This was the first step to healing.

The second was to realize that the dream was over. There was no going back. He loved another.

We divorced without a fight, my only request is that he never contact me again.

I needed the space to feel myself, all by myself. With no one pulling on my heart strings.

This was the second step to healing.

The third was quite stunning. And I don’t expect it to be the same for every woman reading this.

But I became the ‘other woman’. Not by vengeance, but by recognizing love.

It was important for me to do things as consciously as possible. To speak with and meet with the girlfriend.

The truth is: they were already split up, but not fully.

So the fourth step to healing was to claim myself for myself and to respect myself fully along with everyone else involved.

I told her she could hate me, curse at me, or do whatever one does when one has a broken heart.

I held her when I said these things.

But everyone knew that what had come to pass had to.

It always does.

That was the fifth part of my understanding: nothing ever happens that isn’t already perfect.

My husband cheating on me the night of my birthday led to a divorce which freed me up to be with the man I am with now.

He leaving his girlfriend freed her up to meet her now fiance to start a new life more aligned with her dreams.

The sixth part of the healing process was to give up looking for signs of betrayal.

And to start looking for evidence of devotion. Because we will always find what we are looking for, reality is strange that way.

Loving myself deeply, trusting myself again, and being willing to come back to an erotically innocent space has shown me the gift of betrayal.

Are you ready to heal your heart and transform the pain of betrayal into your own empowerment? Then Click here to get your own copy of my book, The Emergence of the Sensual Woman.