Considering A Surgical “Face-lift” For Your Lady-Parts? Think Again…
Do you ever feel uncomfortable about your own labia?
Perhaps you’ve had an embarrassing ‘camel-toe’ moment?
Or maybe you’ve compared yourself to pictures of other women from the internet or porn?
This is completely normal!
It’s true to say that learning to love and accept our body is definitely a modern Feminine challenge.
AND… there are moments when ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
When it comes to Labiaplasty (surgery to alter the look of your vulva), I draw the line.
Find out in this month’s Delicious Tip why I believe this surgery to be part of our Modern-Day madness and how coming home to our beautiful body is the counter-balance for healing the rift between our feminine psyche & our body:
This is a very POWERFUL subject so make sure to contribute your thoughts in the comments section!
With our silence we give away our power. All opinions are welcome here, including if you already have had a Labiaplasty surgery or you are thinking of it.
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This is wonderful Saida! It’s really important to acknowledge the big corporations who are invested in our lack of self esteem, multi-billion dollar campaigns! Taking back our power is truly a healing process, it may take time, but it’s worth every step 🙂
Thanks for speaking out 🙂
Thank you Gaianna, for your support and your own claiming of your beautiful body.
Hey Saida ? So glad you told me watch this. This is non-sense that women are doing this. I believe as a man with a lot of experience with women… a natural, embodied, radiant women beats societal expectations completely. Seeing, tasting, ravashing, and making love to a women’s God given “lady part” will steal the heart of any quality man on earth. Women please respect your mind, heart, and spirit by owning every part of you. Beauty primarily springs from your depths, not your surface. And Saida… You go girl!!
Thank you Anthony, for sharing your thoughts. So beautifully said.
Saida, I must say I am disappointed with your review on the LABIA SURGERY options. I wanted to share with you a story about a good friend of mine…who was having some issues with Friction!!! Sexual intimacy, Exercise, and sometimes just in hot weather/ – she had issues medically down there…and needed to have the excess removed. Linda was much happier and more healthy…. after this was done. Labia surgery is not always done to ” look pretty ” down there or ” to look sleek” in yoga pants like you said. LOL – I too was very enlightened when she explained to me why she was having the surgery. I supported her whole heartedly, after many years …. I too am considering this surgery to ” simply tighten things up down there”. I am now 52. Probably not my thing.. but I learned alot from my close friend and realized …there really are medical reasons to have this done. More people are aware of this now. # Stay Safe during the CV nightmare. 🙂
Elizabeth
Hi Elizabeth, I hear you. And agree with you! I wrote this 6 years ago, more information has emerged since then! However, I still stand by my invitation for us all to really question our motives for removing highly important, FUNCTIONAL EROTIC TISSUE. In some cultures, women pull on their labia to make them longer and bigger because their priority is to increase their pleasure. And asking many who love women and have sex with women, they enjoy full, abundant labia. My concerns are from having heard horror after horror story from my colleague, an Ob-Gyn who’s a renowned surgeon, on how a lot of these surgeries go wrong (she’s the surgeon women go to after one or several ‘gone-wrong’ procedures). I agree that everyone is sovereign to choose what to do to/with their body, in fact, I’m an advocate for that! What I’m questioning is doing the surgeries that remove erotic tissue (meaning useful in arousal) in order into ‘fit’ a certain ‘beauty’ standard. Unfortunately, many who choose these surgeries suffer a long, painful recovery (not everyone) and many often do not end up feeling any more beautiful (again, not everyone). My desire is for people, especially young teenagers, to first question WHY they want what they want. As for ‘tightening up down there’, there are non-surgical ways to do this (which is what the JEM training is all about), however, they do require the willingness to invest time with ones own body. Through many years of teaching women of all ages (yes, even into their 90s!), I’ve come to see the remarkable rejuvenative powers of the vulva and vagina (in fact, we’ll be publishing a medical paper on this research very soon). I appreciate your opinion. Perhaps it’s time for me to update this article (and video) to better support women who are facing making this decision.
Thank you for a great vlog Saida! I love that you are calling this subject out. I agree wholeheartedly that there is great beauty in diversity!!! I personally know someone who had a labiaplasty for cosmetic reasons, and a stubborn itching rash on her labia (lichen sclerosis, psoriasis or eczema, I can’t remember) ….never reappeared after her surgery. Any thoughts on this?
WOW Jess! It’s wonderful to hear that she had a ‘healing’ of an imbalance. This is the crux of the query… when our mind/beliefs/emotions create our experiences. For some women, it’s so completely distressing to have ‘whatever the issue is’ that when they feel they handled it ‘in whatever way that is’, their mind/beliefs/emotions calm down and healing occurs. I would love women to know that they can actually affect change WITHOUT drastic measures. My YONI NEVER LIES program with Dr. Wickman delves more deeply into the effects of being a psycho-sexual being.
Saida, seeing your video — and these moving messages in the comments from other women — is a beautiful introduction for me to the work that you do. thank you for pointing me to your video.
it isn’t often that labiaplasty comes up for me in conversation, but when it does I refer to it by its other term, labial reduction, which I think calls it for what it really is: a reduction in the ability to experience sensation and pleasure, and the literal removal of one’s physical uniqueness in order to fit into yet another one of society’s manufactured images of beauty.
not to mention that any removal of anyone’s tissue affects everyone involved in a sexual experience! as a man, I often talk with other men about this in the context of male circumcision. sadly, many men — and women — still see circumcision as a cosmetic surgery, yet the removal of physical tissue makes the man dramatically less sensitive during sex, and that massively affects the sexual experience for everyone involved.
I emphatically believe our nature-given gifts are to be enjoyed and revered. I hope to see more women and men speak up and against all cosmetic surgeries like these.
Hi Christo, I’m delighted to have your male view-point here. It’s so vital we women hear from you and feel your presence, especially in regards to issues with our body, liberation, and sensual/sexual nature.
No, no, no. If you have to go through surgery it should be to save life. To recover it or heal it. Not to take life away from your body.
I think there are many nuances to this issue.
I’m wondering if there isn’t also deep down an urge to reclaim a sense of innocence and virginity for some of these women. To go tabula rasa with themselves. Restoring the look of the innocent body. The child? To put on a mask of being untouched, because they in reality feel hurt by the way they’ve been touched. By themselves and others.
A desperate attempt to reclaim externally, what need to be worked out internally.
I hurt for the women, who take such radical and self destructive means.
Powerful that you bring up this issue! And even more powerful that you are here to guide women into true self love and acceptance.
Beautiful Karin, Yes… there are many nuances beneath most of the things we do as women… that is in part why I’m encouraging women to come home to themselves, to self-source and to claim their sexual sovereignty. This way we can be part of a new generation of women who are whole, expressed, free, and integrated in our sensuality and sexuality along with all the other exquisite facets of our being.
Hi Saida
Like you, I think this is insanity. I wonder two things: what is it that is missing from our culture and broader perspective that means women (and men) actually give any energy to body adjustment? This is adjusting the surface, fixation with the surface of things, the appearance. That is lack of depth. Indicating lack of meaning, perhaps? Until we can find the solution to lack of deeper meaning, I’m not sure any of this craziness will change.
Secondly, as a woman whose mother hated her body, I have wrestled with body stuff. As a 44 year old woman, I have learned to be kind to my body and stop criticising, listen etc. I have also learned to love my body as Nature. I love everything in Nature. I am Nature. My body is as beautiful as any tree, flower, butterfly, raging storm, heaving ocean, shimmering expanse of sand. Perhaps it is our lost connection to Nature, and therefore our deeper feminine nature that has caused this willingness to restructure the body, to adjust and brutalise. Surely that is a masculine tendency?
Anyway, those are my thoughts. And thank you for opening the conversation …
Hi PJ, you speak to my heart. Yes… we have moved so far away from our genuine connection with life and our own wildness that we, like all caged animals, can only behave in ODD ways. I wouldn’t it call it a “masculine tendency” to ‘adjust & brutalize’, as the true expression of the masculine is to PROTECT and PROVIDE… I’d say it’s more the response of profound disconnection. And I also agree with you, our culture is fixated on the ‘functional’ aspect of our sexuality, very few understand that the ‘deeper meaning’ of our sexuality has equal value… Love your thoughts. Thank you for sharing so truthfully.
Un GROS merci Saida for bringing this to my attention. My 7 year old grandaughter has recently had some growth in length of her labia, and my daughter is concerned if this is normal, especially because it is becoming quite a discomfort. I’m hoping the discomfort is temporary. I’m definitely forwarding this to my daughter so we can all benefit from your wisdom and empowerment.
Bonjour Joanne! Yes! It’s not only normal, it’s natural, essential, and gorgeous!! Have her look at the GREAT WALL OF VAGINA, and yes, watch my video too. Is it a physical discomfort or a psychological one that leads to feel uncomfortable physically? Tell her she’s LUCKY! She’s “well-endowed”… If she were a man, she’s be encouraged to be proud of her fullness.
When I’m in a room with let’s say 30 other woman I’m always the only woman which inner lips are bigger then the outer. That makes me feel wrong and I wish I had my inner lips hidden like most of women have. That’s why I’m often considering a surgery. I feel ashamed of my big pussy.
Beautiful Coco, first of all, thank you. Thank you for your courage and for your vulnerability. As I read your words I cried… not just for a moment, but a good, long cry. You are so NOT wrong! You are amazingly unique, like a rare orchid amongst a patch of tulips… You are luscious and trust me, this is an incredible ASSET to experiencing amazing pleasure! I trust you’ve looked at the GREAT WALL OF VAGINA and the book Femalia. You are certainly NOT alone… Maybe it’s time to find other orchid women in your world. I have so much compassion for you… I hope you stay connected to this community of amazing women, I know we welcome you here.
Dear Coco, I wish I could be in the room with you because then we would be two with inner lips bigger than the outer ones 🙂 ! I’m lucky though, I never questioned the look of my yoni. I always believed it to be perfectly normal until I read that there were different shapes of female genitalia and that maybe I was not in the average ! I have been a bit uncomfortable with it at first but as my partners loved my sex the way it was it stopped being a “problem”. I wish you to reach a place where you can embrace all of your body, especially your powerful yoni !
Saida Desilets you rock, I give plenty plenty plenty thanks everyday for you being in my life. Sending you an ocean of love bombs, I have forwarded this to every female I know.
WOW Vicky! Thank you! Feeling the love. 🙂
Thank you Saida for raising this. I love your comparison to the same with a man….’pardon me, you’re looking a little untidy there, let’s just remove some of your manliness and pleasure pack”………sure, that would fly wouldn’t it???? !!!
brilliant analysis, thank you.
My pleasure. Another woman, on FB, said that we were never meant to look like a Barbie doll, huge boobs, tiny-tiny waist and NO VULVA.
As usual, Saida, you are so relevant. Labiaplasty is now the third most common cosmetic procedure – right behind breast augmentation and tummy tucks. A study published in the British Journal of OB-Gyn in 2011 showed that 100% of the women seeking labiaplasty had “normal” genitalia. Women need to realize that “normal” in this case means “varied”. Our labia is as unique as our face! I often see women who have issues with scarring and pain as a result, and many regret doing it. Women need to connect with their beautiful genital structures and the pleasure they can derive. We cannot continue to allow society to define what is normal and desirable. Social norms are fickle and inconsistent- as beauty trends change drastically over short spans of time, and surgical alteration is permanent. I want to help women appreciate their diversity. We are not barbie dolls with exactly the same features. Love your anatomy… Connect with her form and function… Appreciate the bliss that comes from that connection. Much love and sisterhood to you my gorgeous friend and colleague.
Dr. Debra!!! Thank you for sharing your deep wisdom and experience as an Ob-Gyn with massive experience in this field. Your wisdom is soooooo needed!!!!
Thank you for speaking about this, Saida. I couldn’t agree more that the best thing we can do (ultimately even more powerful than speaking about the insanity of this) is to live and transmit body acceptance, erotic innocence and integration, etc.
It’s interesting to me that many among us are horrified to hear about female genital mutilation as still practiced in some other cultures, yet seem to accept this kind of “cosmetic” procedure in our culture….
Yes. It is easier to judge others than to look at ourselves 🙂 To be human is to have that schism. Meanwhile, each one of us that claims our sexual sovereignty is massively contributing to the much needed Succulence Revolution that is transforming the world one yoni at a time.
Wow…! What a topic. Thank you Saida for being so totally there for deep aliveness.
One of the most beautiful artworks I have ever seen in my life, was an 8 by 10 foot wall hanging in Greenwich Village, NYC… of plaster casts of various womens’ labia. I was stunned and shocked at how gorgeous they all were…and how each was totally unique, expressing the woman’s soul of loving. I had no idea what other women looked like…and am so glad to hear the connection of the fact that these amazing lips enhance the pleasure.
I will tell you my sad story…being incested as an infant in the crib…my sexual organs developed very slowly and quite modestly… including a limited capacity to engorge and experience deep and Divine pleasure. Please ladies…treasure what nature has given you as your connection to passion and love…power and authenticity. Every part of you is sacred and holy…exactly reflecting your precious soul. Be bravely yourself, give thanks and treasure your authenticity. Love, Roma
Sweet Roma, thank you for your RAW sharing. And you too… are divine perfection.
Thank you as always Saida, for being the rebel that you are and wonderful spokeswoman and educator xx
This is such an important topic and interestingly enough I just loaned a book to my 20 year old son last night on this topic! ‘Heart of the Flower – a book of yoni’s’ by Andrew Barnes and Yvonne Lumsden, who created this book for the purpose of healing and education; to help women learn to love their unique ‘lady parts’ and to educate their lovers/partners.
Yes you nailed it … women who feel disempowered and insecure due to conditioning from the moment we arrive on the planet, sadly often within our very own families (as one lovely woman mentioned in this thread about sisters teasing). The media/commercial world then have their way of conditioning us with the very limited image of what a woman is supposed to be, making women easy prey to the multibillion $ industries that profit massively in order to change ourselves to fit the mould. It saddens me to think about the loss of erectile tissue and pleasure just because we haven’t understood the consequences and so desperately want to be accepted as ‘normal’ or more ‘beautiful’. Would we declare an orchid is ugly because it is not a rose?
I’m an advocate for Self Love, Self Pleasure and Self Respect …. these are not just high ideals, I know I need to ‘practice’ this daily. It’s a choice moment to moment. I too have been caught in the crazy illusions of what beauty is … it’s a mind game. As soon as I connect my heart and my genitals with Presence, I feel deep acceptance and loving kindness …. and often the pulsing life force bursting forth in all kinds of delicious ways : )
And thank you Saida for all the encouragement, tools, wisdom and great passion you share with us … you have been instrumental in many shifts that have taken place within me over the years – I love being a succulent saging woman!
Succulent Saging indeed! Your words of wisdom are much needed here and everywhere.
Saida, thank you for taking this important public stand against something so barbaric. Why are ‘modern’ women afraid to be proud of our differences and celebrate our uniqueness?
Apparently I have ‘long’ labia and I agree with you that they produce some juicey moments. When I am engorged I can experience an orgasm ( or 2) when my husband gently rolls my labia between his fingers! It would be insane to remove those beautiful inches of pleasure.
Right?! My goodness!!!!! And to think that some cultures actually understand this to the point of teaching young women how to stretch their labia in preparation for love-making.
Thank you Saida. Our health of what is going on INSIDE our bodies is so important to our longevity , the enjoyment of our longevity, and our expression to others throughout our life. This detour of false vanity among the health community of yoga is mind boggling. There are so many other healthy things to focus on that have more lasting benefits. I wonder if this is a testimony to how low the self esteem has dropped among our young women, and how desperate they have become. Thanks for all you do to help women recognize their true beauty and question who “sets the standard”.
Thank you June for sharing. Let’s, together, EXUDE self-esteem. Let’s be what we’d love other women to know (self-love, self-confident, and intensely alive). Let’s celebrate women of ALL ages and have more genuine sisterhood so that we can have an internal buoyancy and resilience that transforms the negative influences that infiltrate our lives.
Thank you Saida, I am so happy you bring this up!
Though I already knew all the facts you talk about in your video, it can really not be said enough.
Even with all the knowledge and being fully aware that my lips are happy and how they should be, there’s been enough times that I wished for them to be just a little less ‘out there’. I know it is a crazy thought. I mostly had these thoughts when I was a teenager, but even in my 30s now, I shift between feeling proud to show the diversity of a women’s body, when I visit a sauna, and feeling insecure and afraid of weird looks.
When showering in the gym I notice that you hardly see (specially young) women with lips that show. And I wonder… did some of them cut these tingling, glowing little parts?
I know of one of my close friends who did in her early twenties, because her older sisters (!) used to tease her about it. We only spoke about it long afterwards and every time I think of that I want to cry. For her, for myself for sometimes still letting in this insecurity, and for all other women that deal with this messed up image the outside world gives us of women.
Because if I have this, while being raised to fully except how I am and part of a generation that was still rather innocent when it came to these surgeries, what about girls that grow up now?
So here it is: I am proud to say that my lips are still peaking. Also that their swelling has made my lover as proud, as when my breast and mouth swell as he touches me, they are all signs that he’s loving me well.
Nina, such a touching share!!! Yay for your fullness! We live in a funny culture where we don’t mind putting fillers in our face ‘lips’ and adding silicone to our breasts (the bigger the better), yet when it comes to where it really matters, our vulva, we want them trim and tucked in.
It’s not easy to adore ourselves in the pervasiveness of the “consensual mind” that permeates our culture. That’s why a counter-culture must be created. When we stand up for ourselves, love ourselves, accept ourselves, celebrate ourselves, we are considered RADICAL.
‘In a society that benefits from your self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.’ – Hamash Alidina
Together, we can embody what an empowered, expressed, integrated and sexually sovereign woman looks like. This ALONE is huge in helping young women adore their gorgeous selves.
And Nina, when you are feeling critical and down about your lady-parts, remember this conversation… reach down and touch your yoni gently and reassure her that you do indeed adore her… and stay connected to this sisterhood and other women who love and celebrate “the garden of beauty also known as women.”
Wow thank you for bringing this out. It is madness and you are so right on!
Yes Iris! And it’s important for us all NOT to shame those women who have gone forward with this procedure, but to encourage them to continue to deepen their acceptance and love of their body.
Thanks for this enlightening video. Too many women have fallen prey to the blandishments of the cosmetic industry and have lost self-esteem.
Thank you Dr. Viv! I know in your practice you must see every type of vulva there is, all beautiful and unique! Most of the Ob-Gyn’s I know are against this type of surgery. Here’s a link to the Great Wall of Vagina: CLICK TO VIEW
What? I had no idea women are into a fad like this! Seriously, Saida, I am so glad you are here, as a younger woman, willing to speak to this, to teach women about accepting their beauty and diversity. We have gotten so far away from our succulence (many of us never had a clue we were succulent in the first place)!! Thank you for being a spokesperson for our erotic genius, for acknowledging our beauty and succulence in all of Her forms. You are making a difference. I am now thinking of my 30 yr. old son and am going to ask him about this…he lives in LA, part of the workout, yoga community. This will be an enlightening conversation at Thanksgiving. I was just part of a community grief ritual with Sobonfu Some and ‘held space’ for many young women as they grieved their bodies and how they were treated sexually. It broke my heart. We have to choose differently. Thank you for bringing this into our consciousness.
Thank you Valerie for taking the time to share and to also open the conversation up with your son. Both men and women need to know what’s going on and take a stance for being healthy, liberated, sexually sovereign people.
Thank you Saida! I so agree that our men need to know what’s going on. There’s a part of me that is a little concerned my son might actually tell me he thinks this is ok, and he ‘likes’ it. I don’t think so, but what if? We have to start having honest conversations like this with our men.
Yes. What ‘if’ indeed. An open conversation is healthy. We don’t all have to agree, but we can all be more knowledgable about such things.