Why Belonging Is Crucial & How To Belong Without Selling Out

Belonging.

It’s a biological imperative, designed to keep us alive.

Although Modern human’s now can survive without relying on a tribe, we still are programmed to seek out belonging.

So crucial is this imperative that we can do almost anything just to ensure that we belong.

But what do we really belong to? A person? A family? A community? A belief system?

In this month’s Del Tip, I explore an idea of mine about belonging that not only instills an incredible sense belonging, but also sustains it no matter what situation I find myself in.

I’m curious where you are at in your journey with “belonging” and “interdependence”? Please leave me your thoughts below so we can continue this discussion.

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26 replies
  1. Michelle
    Michelle says:

    Wow, belonging, where do I belong? This is my major issue, along with its sister “how can I be loved?”
    I wish I had an experience to share that meant I got it. But right now I’m feeling stuck in my fear of not belonging, of not being good enough. The fear that my truest self is broken or somehow inaccessible.
    In my brief moments of clarity these days I tap into exactly the belonging to life concept you are talking about, I feel alive and present. My challenge is being able to sustain my alignment with it. I so appreciate your videos and the way you move reminds me of the freedom I am capable of. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Saida Desilets
      Saida Desilets says:

      Awesome Michelle… yes, it is a huge journey to maintain our own authentic connection with life. The great things is… if we forget, life is there… waiting 🙂

      Reply
  2. Chantal
    Chantal says:

    Beautiful Saida,

    what I feel when I sink into this one sentence : « I belong to life itself»
    is a deep calm. The impulse to dash forward stops. What a peaceful place to be. Thank you for offering a one sentence doorway to that very profound fact.

    I also very much like how you word the facts of needs vs the neediness. I will meditate on that too.

    wishing you life itself.

    Reply
  3. Faith
    Faith says:

    Perfect!

    I found out this week that I was conceived into an atmosphere of fear and rejection. Simply realizing and acknowledging this lifted a burden off of me, realizing that I don’t have to continue on in the viewpoint of life that I took on at that point.

    Coupling that with the truth of belonging to Life, and being loved there, has made a difference already in my response to stressful conversations. Just this morning, I was able to access that belonging and Love, which then enabled me to pull through with humility to a full resolution.

    Thank you Saida!

    Faith

    Reply
  4. Patrishe
    Patrishe says:

    I love the truth of belonging to Life. It brings an inner knowing that I have a place, identity, and very large family that love and care for me. As well as having all the magical qualities of life and the amazing creative energy of the Feminine to play and be outrageously empowered by.
    Thank you for the great work you do.

    Patrishe

    Reply
  5. emily tepper
    emily tepper says:

    im so grateful for your ability to make it fun to opt back in to relationships! i had “independent woman-ed” myself out and am trying to get back in there without “selling out” it has been socially rocky and this video is both grounding and uplifting to me!

    Reply
  6. IIiana
    IIiana says:

    I loved saying ‘I belong to life’ out loud, it moved me deeply.
    I only realised a few months ago that I belong to MYSELF, I am my own warrior, lover, judge, jury and guide, and from that realization, I’ve gone on to learn that I also belong to nature, which is an extension of my self, and to all of humanity, because we are all connected, we’re united underneath the illusion of separation. But not in compromising way, in a hugely empowering way. way. I will be adding ‘I belong to life’ to my list of favourite personal mantras. Thank you!

    Reply
  7. Leah Sage Alexander
    Leah Sage Alexander says:

    I’m loving this topic of Belonging!!! For a long time (all my life really) I have noticed my sense of belonging being prominently a surface experience. Yet every cell of my being still craves deeply “sustaining” and nourishing belonging. After sitting with your beautiful concept of “belonging to life it’s itself”, I’m noticing that I have resistance(s) to belonging and am familiar with the sensation of pushing away life, family and friends. My monkey mind would probably make up a story about having “trust” and “worthiness” issues but I know myself enough to not buy into these stories. So I ask my Heart and Yoni; “Why do I resist deep belonging when Saida says it’s available to me at all the time”? My heart says because I am so tender and fear getting hurt. My Yoni says because I’m impatient and please slow down. Hmm how interesting!!! Thank-you body wisdom!!!

    As for Interdependence, I started consciously exploring this last year. My wild spirit would have you believe that I’m Independent and yet when I’m really real with myself I notice that my action and lifestyle are probably more aligned with Dependance. I’m actually ok with this because slowly but surely I’m moving towards greater Interdependence. One thing I like to do to connect with the sensation of interdependence is breathing in-tune with Mother Earth. I breath in her life-force and support, integrate her gifts into my being-ness and then breathing out my unique life force, heart, gifts and full rainbow of emotions back to her. We seem to have a great thing going on 🙂 Thank-you, Saida for being Divinely Delicious as always xx

    Reply
    • Saida Desilets
      Saida Desilets says:

      This is gorgeous Leah. What’s amazing about belonging to life is that you don’t need to DO ANYTHING about it. You can never NOT belong to life. There’s NO-THING that is required, except your existence.

      Reply
  8. Adriana
    Adriana says:

    “I belong to life” – All my life I’ve felt like a chameleon, changing (and not even consciously) to belong. Finally I’m believing my sense of self-worth – of who I am.

    Reply
  9. Cynthia
    Cynthia says:

    Hi Saida, can you articulate what you mean by ‘Life’? I belong to…your definition of Life. Recovering from CSA has been challenging in the area of belonging & compromise. So this concept of belonging to life could be life changing for me as I have compromised to feel safe in belonging. I’m excited to see your answer!

    Reply
    • Saida Desilets
      Saida Desilets says:

      Beautiful Cynthia, you are powerful and an amazing woman. And yes, it’s time to see where you made choices in order to keep yourself safe, and now that you are safe, how those choices no longer are useful (in fact, they are keeping you from fully living in the moment). Life is Life. That’s it, there’s no definition. LIFE. All that is. You belong to it.

      Reply
  10. Janice
    Janice says:

    So powerful a delicious tip Saida! When we can embody and live the alchemy of being through belonging to life, our radiance is very healing for others and quite simply an open invitation to come home to the awareness of interdependence, for those we may cross paths with whom are still living a dependent life – still striving to ‘find” a sense of belonging to something outside themselves! How delicious is that!!!

    Reply
  11. Cindy Hively
    Cindy Hively says:

    Oh my Saida! This is beautiful and resonates with my yearning for the new year. Belonging to life itself feels so spacious and uninhibited. What a luxurious way to be seen. I say that because I want to belong to no boundaries. ❤️

    Reply
  12. Shasta Guinn
    Shasta Guinn says:

    I adopted this viewpoint without being able to articulate it as beautifully as you have here. I still feel lonely but hope to begin attracting healthy female friendships as I get healthier. Thank you for posting this. It came at a good time.

    Reply
    • Saida Desilets
      Saida Desilets says:

      Ah Shasta! One beautiful learning I received from spending time in deep communion with Life and nature is that it’s available to me, at any moment, if I tune in. This includes heart connections with those I love. I have many friends who live in other countries, yet knowing that we are all connect through this ‘life essence’ (the real WEB), I instantly feel their presence. AND yes… I hear you. I know you will attract AMAZING women into your life. Hey, you attracted me!! 😉

      Reply

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