We live in a culture that reveres our wounds, where we hand out victim badges as though these claims hold the key to our wholeness.
In fact, when it comes to women and transforming the challenges we face, there exists a full range of approaches, techniques, modalities and ideals with the intention of ‘female empowerment’.
Each one more powerful than the next.
Or are they?
Having been part of this industry for 2 decades, I’ve observed that for the most part, professionals are doing more harm than good.
While we argue amongst each other as to which modality is superior and more effective and work on our theories and ideals, we fail to bridge our wisdom to the living experience of real women who are facing a large variety of challenges.
I’ve come to see that all of our theories and techniques are fundamentally based in the principle called the ‘functional model’. This means that in order to get to “this” result, we must do “that”. We treat ourselves and others from a mechanical perspective, and yes, this also inclusive of philosophies and psychological methods.
And is especially true when it comes to inspiring women to heal, claim and live their sexual sovereignty.
Sexuality and sensuality are still very much discussed through the functional lens.
Recently, when I spoke with my colleague Dr. Wickman at AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Councilors, and Therapists), I was honored to sit in many presentations. As much as I loved the theories and methodologies, something became screamingly clear:
We’ve all forgotten that women (people) have an erotic intelligence.
This forgetfulness is harmful because it means that we are overriding this ErQ through the ideals and techniques we use in the spirit of empowerment.
Yet by forgetting this foundational principle, we do more harm than good.
We continue to propagate the idea that women are broken and need to be fixed.
That somehow if women only received X therapy or did Y technique, they would be cured forever.
But we could not be further from the truth.
Women are powerful and innately intelligent.
They are not broken, no matter what they have faced, and therefore, never need to be fixed.
As professionals, we don’t actually have all the answers, women do. Their bodies know.
Our sole job is to embody what we wish to impart to others and to remind women of their inborn intelligence.
It’s this embodied presence that has the most profound transformation—limbic reimprinting is a very real and powerful part of holding space for another’s journey into wholeness.
If we are truly dedicated to women and their sovereignty, then we must learn how to incorporate respect of women’s ErQ and to trust it and help women connect with, no matter how far away they believe themselves to be from living shameless, integrated, and fulfilling lives.
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