What is your pain or discomfort trying to tell you?
“He will leave me if we can’t have sex, but I’m in so much pain, I really can’t”.
“I’m confused by my recurring issues with my vagina, it seems like there’s always something wrong and I really just want to relax and feel good.”
“I feel ashamed by the changes in my body. I just want to be orgasmic, why is it so hard?”
No matter what the complaint is, the truth behind all of them is that when our body isn’t well, we feel betrayed and frustrated.
Yet when our body is in a state of imbalance, it’s attempting to speak to us. the problem is two-fold: we don’t know how to listen nor do we understand what is being said.
Recently, in interviewing a leading Ob-Gyn about women and sexual health, she stated that there is always a psychological connection with every issue.
This affirmed what I already discovered over 10 years ago when writing up my PhD: we are psycho-sexual beings.
This means that what we think and believe is not separate from our body.
Now although this can be an intriguing idea, how is it useful when we are suffering from on-going sexual imbalances?
Personally, I healed my vagina of an ‘incurable’ imbalance. The truth was that I was in pain, I couldn’t have sex, I thought my partner would leave me, and I couldn’t find the answer through alternative and traditional medicine alike!
I was left with only one option—go within and listen.
So I did. But that was not enough. I needed to trust what I was hearing and act accordingly. And what was afflicting me for 1.5 years healed overnight, never to reoccur again.
Since that moment, I became well aware of the immense power we each have to heal ourselves and to bring imbalances back into vibrant wellbeing.
3 Keys To Getting To Know Our Psycho-Sexual Self:
1. Contemplate that it’s possible. I have witnessed incredible transformation for women who were willing to consider the idea that their body was just simply misbehaving and that there may indeed be a deeper learning available through the imbalance.
2. Admit what is obvious. This can be as simple as “I’m in pain” or “I’m angry” or “I’m scared”. Through being able to ‘get real’ with ourselves, we are able to orient ourselves to the actual current reality we are experiencing. For example: I’m feeling like I’m getting a bladder infection. I must be pissed off. Oh! I am pissed off.
3. Take action. Using the above example: I drink a few liters of water, own my anger, and apply tea tree diluted in coconut oil to the opening of my urethra. These are steps that I know work for interrupting a bladder infection. Action is normally pretty clear, the problem is that most of us don’t really want to face what we need to face to actually heal.
By being willing to fully embody our sovereign space (our physical body) and to meet what is emerging for us with as much courage as we can muster is an act of deep self-respect and self-love.
There’s no need to suffer unnecessarily or for prolonged periods of time. It may require of us to put on our ‘big girl’ panties and face reality. Good. It’s time we take our own power back into our own hands. We may have to have temporary discomfort, but it will be worth it in the long run.
The impact of shifting our perception from victim (things that happen to us) to sexually sovereign (states of being that we move through) cannot be underestimated.
If learning to hear and heed the messages from your body is important to you, I’d love to invite you to consider exploring my Your Yoni Never Lies Deep Dive video training.
I always love to hear directly from my readers, so feel free to leave me a comment or question in the comments section below.
I am in my 70’s now and feel as though my sexuality has been seriously disrupted for my whole adult life. This used to fill me with despair at times, and a longing that I didn’t know how to repair so I learned to repress and accept. There are a lot of pieces to this, upbringing, culture, rape etc. but , as I think back on my life now, the real catalyst to this neglect (physically, emotionally, psychologically) was an abortion I had at 24 and the devastating circumstances surrounding it, not all having to do with the abortion – everything fell apart and I started on a path of self-destruction that kind of wired in my brain — so that when I experience a kind of frustration or even hopefulness, I often begin to self-sabotage and fall into this destructive pattern. I have climbed my way out many times, only to experience that self-hatred again and go back into self-destructive mode. I feel like this time I’m giving up, but our damn built in self-preservation system kicks in. How can I work to restore the vital energy that you work with? Last chapter dance…
Hi Karen, I love your honest share. I like to consider that our greatest pain can become our greatest point of power. It starts with little steps, like a daily self-love practice (anything simple and doable and repeatable). Are you part of JEM?