Why Focus On Pleasure…

When The World Is Hurting?!

How could I possibly focus on pleasure when there is so much pain and suffering in the World? That feels completely juvenile! 

Everyday I hear of another disaster or another hardship that people in the world are suffering from, I honestly can’t make time for such petty things as personal pleasure.

My children and my husband need me! I don’t have time for myself, especially not my erotic self, are you crazy?!

All the sexual abuse and sexual disease in the world makes me feel like I would rather never be sexual again, just to be safe.

Why we have no time for pleasure.

Pleasure is connected to leisure. Two words foreign to most women.

Face it, we have much work to do and a mountain of responsibilities! Who has time for pleasure?!

Who doesn’t?!

Pleasure is part of our human experience. We are designed to actually move towards pleasure and away from pain.

Our body functions more optimally when we are running a current of pleasure versus the current of stress.

In fact, stress wears us out.

Stress ages us rapidly and makes us short-tempered. It also increases our chances of housing a disease with each moment we spend stressed out.

So if we really were sincere about caring for others, we first would care for ourselves.

Why offer them anything but the best?

When we give from a place of resentment, others feel this. Even if you try to hide it, it is obvious as a pink elephant in the room.

And if our system were to get sick, those who we care for would suddenly be forced to care for us. There are many stories of young children having to age beyond their years and care for sick parents.

When we do this, we rob children of the carefree joys of childhood, burdening them too quickly with the hard truths of life. Therefore, keeping ourselves functioning at our best is vital if we are to genuinely have a positive and impactful presence in the lives of those we love.

The disease of stress.

Stress is contagious.

Have you ever been in a room with a stressed out person? It’s impossible not to feel it! Your own stomach tightens, your own breath gets more shallow, and your expanded spirit starts to contract.


We are mammals. We have a mammalian brain. This part of us connects us to every other living mammal in our proximity.

In fact, it is through this silent language that we communicate the most powerfully.

Dr. Thomas Lewis, Author of a General Theory of Love, states:

“Because our minds seek one another through limbic resonance, because our physiologic rhythms answer to the call of limbic regulation, because we change one another’s brains through limbic revision—what we do inside relationships matters more than any other aspect of human life.”

Simply put: who we are has tremendous impact on others.

Wouldn’t you want to offer another inspiration, beauty, comfort, delight, and love?

It is within all of us to give the real gift of love: our whole, radiant self.

But we have nothing honest to offer if we are suffering on any level of our being, albeit physical, emotional, psychological or spiritual.

What is the single most value offering we can give?

The best of who we are.

What does this mean? It means to be healthy and radiant on every level of our being.

By having good physical health, we can enjoy others and we have more energy to give to others! In fact, it is impossible to very efficient when our own energy is low or non-existent.

With good emotional and psychological health, we are able to see the gifts in others and in all of our situations. We have healthy boundaries and we empower others to empower themselves.

We also become people that others love being around and are inspired by.

With our pleasure, others experience pleasure. This means that their hormonal system shifts out of its detrimental stress circuit and starts to synchronize itself with cascades of living enhancing hormones.

So does this mean we cannot have bad days or get sick?

Not at all. It does means that when we do we love ourselves as human.

We allow others to see that we are vulnerable, just as they are, and we are willing to receive as much as we are willing to give.

When we live from a more pleasureful and balanced place, we literally teach our children, family members, and friends how to live that way too.

When more people are in a healthy state, we then have more energy and more intelligence to resolve our local and global issues.

Nothing can be more valuable then taking a few minutes per day to fill our pleasure tank and live from a more aligned, inspired, and radiant place.

Does caring for yourself AND having both energy and time to contribute to your family and community turn you on?

I’ve written two books that explore your desire and your sensuality. I invite you to check them out — Emergence of the Sensual Woman and Desire. I’d love to hear your feedback on the article, and the books, once you’ve read them.

9 replies
  1. Paige
    Paige says:

    I was just thinking about this very topic: how we affect each other because of our sensitivity to each other’s energy. This article gave me the straight forward science and elaborated on why this is important in our contributions to the world. I was thinking about seeing others having a hard time responding to certain things bc of the effect it’s having on their nervous system, if only they could realize it doesn’t belong to them and they are only resonating with. With this new awareness, they could possibly laugh at the situation more rather than fear it. Great information <3

  2. Cora
    Cora says:

    The words pleasure and leisure were not only foreign in relation to me and my world but were disaster to my soul. As life unfolded providing an expansion of understanding that gifted me with clarity allowing for an upgrade of my world view did I came to understand the importance of your words. So succinctly expressed. Thank you.

  3. Tonia
    Tonia says:

    I love your words Saida. Very inspiring. Just last night I had the thoughts of feeling guilty about wanting pleasure as there is so much suffering in the world. So these words today were a blessing to hear. I have your book emergence of the sensual women which I haven’t picked up for a long time, think I will need to dip into it again. 🙂


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