Sexual Anorexia

Why Do Over 62.5 Million Women Suffer From It?

You are with your partner, you care for them, but you haven’t had sex in months…

Actually, it has been YEARS since you have desired sex and intimacy…

To make matters worse, every time your partner initiates sex, your whole body freezes in terror. Headaches, yeast infections, or debilitating vaginal pain show up as the perfect diversion.

Or maybe it’s numbness from masking the pain of your partner’s affair until you forget what its like to surrender to your heart and body.

Perhaps secretly you tell yourself that you HATE sex and feel like your libido is somewhat of a lost relic.

The longer this goes on, the more you are starved from a deep, unmet need—the desire to belong, to be loved, and to be expressed as an erotically alive woman.

Sexual Anorexia or ‘starving our eros’ is more common and insidious then we think.

Mountains of false perceptions and sexual propaganda are constantly stealing our attention, leading us away from our own living truth.

One such lie is that ‘it’s too late’, that we are ‘too old to bother’. But experience tells otherwise:

Take Rebecca*, in her mid-70s, small, refined, yet brittle. Her face etched with deep lines of sadness reveals the truth: 30 sexless years. And the sex she did have was unpleasant, at times painful, and most often something to ‘get over with’.

With timid, yet dedicated determination, she embarked on a great archaeological adventure to recover her erotic nature. Once excavated, she discovered her own fountain of youth!

Rebecca claimed her erotic self, rejuvenated her sexual health, and promptly claimed a young 52 year old lover.

Rebecca’s story isn’t a miracle. It is every women’s birthright.

When we recognize that the pain of staying the same is more painful than change itself, we have taken the first step to Erotic Transformation.

Erotic Transformation is only one choice away.

Making the choice to move towards transforming our erotic selves is an act of true dedication, one worthy of our attention.

The adventure of digging deeply into ourselves is often derailed by the depths of our sadness.

To make matters more complicated, we may shy away from our murky swamps of self-criticism or our ill-fated traps of self-doubt.

Yet persevere we must!

Over 62.5 million women in America alone suffer from being erotically under or unexpressed. This staggering statistic is rising more each year.

The reason?

We have forgotten to claim our erotic nature.

Without eros—that which animates life—we are lifeless.

We age quickly and suffer untold emotional and physical imbalances.

Many of us have lost hope. Many of us have never known hope.

Our Eros is not lost. It is just hidden deep within us.

Steps to Reclaiming our Erotic Nature:

  1. Where ever you are now is perfect. When you can accept yourself exactly as you are this is, ironically, when things change.
  2. Loving yourself into wholeness. Whatever dares reveal itself, trust that it is there to be loved into wholeness.
  3. Turn towards yourself. All our wounds are points of power. As we turn our attention towards ourselves, our curious nature will reveal the hidden gift within our pain.
  4. What you think isn’t always true. Be willing to redefine yourself from moment to moment. If you think ‘I can’t’, follow through with ‘but I will take this step regardless’.
  5. Only move as fast as the slowest part of you. What’s the big rush? Notice what parts of yourself are consistently left behind and start to slow down enough to include them. You will find that you will no longer take one step forward, yet two steps back. All your steps will be forward.

And let me tell you a little secret—a secret I plucked from the depths of my own personal hell.

Terrified, I refused to open my eyes for the fear of meeting the ugliest of the ugly within me.

Yet in that moment of profound fear, I peeked.

And what I saw stunned me.

There was only beauty in there.

My monsters were just my perceptions, mere shadows. Once revealed they lost all their power.

Through discovering this, I was then able to journey with others as they slay their own monsters.

I can say with confidence that thousands of women found the same secret, once they were finally willing to open their eyes.

Loving ourselves into wholeness whilst daring to explore our own erotic nature is an essential part of my work. Click to get your own copy my book to continue to explore this topic further.

*Name has been changed to protect the privacy of the individual.

3 replies
  1. Melissa
    Melissa says:

    I love this article! But what about us (or is it just me?) that wants to make love and express our erotic nature, but we cannot find a proper lover? I am 33, and have had months and years go by without a proper conscious lover who can handle my erotic nature. They don’t get it,so I keep it to myself, starving sexually 🙁 But drama aside, how can we “prep” men to see if they could help facilitate us deepening our journey as sexual magical women? Just to get a man to work with that is safe and respects the beauty of the work, it is like baring your soul, he has to be conscious. Thank you, Aloha, blessings, MNM

    • Saida
      Saida says:

      Aloha Melissa,

      Magnetizing to us erotic experiences and beautiful lovers is part of the maturation journey we each go through. I’m not sure if it is true for everyone, but in my own life, I have only attracted a reflection of what I am along with what I expect. Meanwhile, I find it useful to nurture gourmet relationship with myself and to continue to express my aliveness, whether or not there is someone to share it with as ‘starving’ myself erotically is not an option.


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