Your Yoni Never Lies – Your Genitals Shamelessly Reveal The Truth
Have you ever had a bladder or yeast infection?
Or sporadic vaginal or pelvic pain?
Or dryness that appears only with your partner, but not when you’re alone?
Maybe you’ve felt ‘dead inside’ for years and then suddenly you find yourself pulsing with desire?
These are not random events, these are clear messages from our inborn erotic intelligence.
It is a way in which our inner knowing is translated into an external, verifiable proof that something is either “off or on” about our life choices.
In fact, these messages are so accurate, so shameless in their truth that after two decades of study, practice, teaching and research, one of the core themes that keeps emerging and one that I always emphasize, is that: Your yoni* never, EVER lies.
This may seem odd at first, so allow me to share with you what I believe to be a fundamental truth of our erotic wisdom.
We all possess an erotic intelligence—a capacity to discern what does and doesn’t enliven us to our core.
I’m not just talking about sex.
I’m talking about all of you and sex is only one part of that equation.
We are psycho-sexual beings, whether or not we believe in this or even understand it.
This means that your psyche is intimately and innately interwoven with your sexuality.
They are, in fact, inseparable. Yet we spend most of our life believing, or at least behaving, like they are separate.
Just as breathing is not isolated to only our lungs, but is essential for the life of the cells in our entire body, our sexuality and psyche do not exist in isolation, but deeply inform the aliveness of who we are as a human being.
This is worthy of celebration as it means that how we feel and perceive isn’t separate from our aliveness.
It means that everything we experience, acknowledge or ignore touches the very essence of our being.
And when I say “Your Yoni Never Lies” I mean that the state of our genitals reflects the state of our psyche.
Imagine that it’s like having a fail-proof compass that guides us through life.
The only problem with this compass is that we tend to either ignore the messages or we want to eradicate them with the latest and greatest pills, creams, and procedures.
We’d rather pay for a quick fix than stop long enough to genuinely listen to what our body is screaming at us.
Yet why not stop? Even for but a moment, to truly listen?
It is in that moment that we’ll access tremendous wisdom and solutions that may normally have eluded us when we were pretending that there’s no connection between our feelings, choices and our body’s health.
I’d like to invite you, for the next 21 days, to imagine that what I say could be true, imagine that you do indeed have a compass within, one that never lies.
Each day, take a moment to place a hand on your heart and one on your genitals and just breathe, relaxing deeply into both of these places.
When you feel your awareness is centered into yourself, ask your yoni, “What would you love me to know?”.
Listen and take action, even if it moves you toward a difficult choice.
If you have an imbalance, you can also ask, “What is needed so that I can return to balance?”
If you have never spoken to your body, let alone listened to her, this can seem odd, boring, or just plain woo-woo.
But try it anyway.
I’ve personally practiced and shared this tiny piece of wisdom for a long time and it never grows old.
In fact, women keep reporting back to me that new layers of wisdom unveil themselves the more they contemplate this idea.
To support yourself in connecting with this wise, inner compass, write down “My Yoni Never Lies” on a sticky note and place it where you can easily see it or perhaps put it in your daily reminders and see what happens as you consider this as a possibility for yourself.
Discovering that our yoni has a voice and learning to listen to and trust this internal guidance always results in more self-love.
And more self-love always moves us towards more joy, pleasure, and the realization of our gifts in this World.
To make this real, I invite you to leave a comment below about how you feel about having this incredible ‘internal compass’. As a bonus, you may delight in sharing a message that you feel you clearly have heard and listened to as well.
If you’d love to more fully understand your yoni’s messages, I’d recommend reading my book, The Emergence of the Sensual Woman as a great place to start.
*(Yoni = female genitals).
© 2015 – Saida Désilets
Recently a coworker outed my male coworker and I for our apparent crushes on each other in front of each-other. I have felt a bit awkward. I didn’t even realize I had a crush on him. Suddenly, our smiles and gazes got more intense. What had been throwing me off is that it’s like a crush from high school. I think about him all the time now, it’s as if I can feel him with me somehow and we haven’t even touched or kissed. then to top it off my yoni has been dripping wet non-stop and at times felt like it is on fire – but NOT in an unpleasant way, in more of a very desirous way. Needless to say i’m trying to figure out what my yoni is saying. obviously there is a strong attraction. is it empty lust or something better? would my yoni tell me the difference? I have butterflies in my stomach and every time he speaks to be I cant help but grin like a fool. oh complicate it more because he’s a manager and 20 years younger than me. age-gap relationships are still an area i struggle with. any insights would be greatly appreciated.
Sexual tension is absolutely delicious and enlivening. Doing something about it requires a sprinkle of wisdom. Personally, I have opted to enjoy the intensity and juiciness without ever doing anything about it. However, I personally LOVE the tension bit!! So, your yoni LOVES the attention. To be desired ignites most women, and that’s a healthy response.
This is a timely article. I have read through a handful of responses. I have had chronic yeast infections my entire life. I am currently going through self-Reiki healing, as well as seeing a Reiki practitioner. I am now able to see, that my body’s rejection of anything that penetrates it, is stemming from rejection of my own innate, healing powers -sexual, and otherwise.
WOW Jennifer! I love this share. Amazing. Did you know we have a mini-intensive (6hour) online course called: Your Yoni Never Lies? You can find out more here: CLICK TO VIEW
I have been in a monogamous relationship for 2 years, we have a daughter together and we talk about marriage. We are a young couple that should be having lots of sex, but we don’t. And every time we have sex I get a bad case of Bacteria Vaginosis.. we’ve had countless arguments bc I accuse him of cheating, but if I’m honest with myself I don’t feel like he is. We have been having a lot of issues and I was listening to an interview and this woman was speaking on how every time she was intimate with her mare she would develop BV. And how it’s a sign that her body was rejecting that man. And I am In Tears because he is a good guy but my body has been responding terribly.. I feel so sad and depressed because I never imagined meeting someone I thought I would marry but would make my body feel bad internally..
Hi Elle, First of all, thank you for your vulnerability and honesty. Secondly, I want to honor your intuition — if I’m honest with myself I don’t feel like he is — There are many reasons that this can be happening: the type of lube used, if he ejaculates inside you each time, or being prone to BV. Whatever the reason for its appearance, this is an invitation to heal yourself as I can imagine how frustrating it is to desire a deep, intimate connection, but feeling horrible afterwards (which then can spiral into a pattern). Intimacy is created and maintained in many ways, is your partner also desiring more intimacy with you? If there is issues in the relationship and you feel tense/angry/afraid, etc this can lend to your body “speaking” to you via symptoms. So it’s important to look at these issues and see what both of you can create to changing your situation so you both feel more relax and connected. Thirdly, you are NOT alone. I want to invite you to be open to healing your body and relationship with yourself and your partner. I too suffered greatly in a relationship where I had something incurable in my vagina that prevented me from having sex because it was so painful! It took me a while, but eventually, when I turned my attention very deeply into myself and how I was feeling and was very honest with myself, I was able to heal completely and have pain-free sex. This is your journey. You’ve got this. You are not broken. You are being invited into more curiosity and creativity to discover what it is you would really love and to be open to making the changes (belief-wise, emotionally, habitually, etc) that is needed for you and your relationship to thrive. I want to invite you into my daring project as a way for you to get more support.
Hi Elle, Being prone to BV is also a symptom of imbalance in the micrbiota in your system. It may be time for you to heal your gut with food, probiotics and supplements. See an ND, read about ACD, GAPS, and Paleo diets. Intestinal cleanses, celery juice cleanse by Medical Medium, the master cleanse… liver cleanse, the ultimate detox (miracleplant.primemybody.com) and how certain supplements and certain probiotics help. Also, find (pure) Boric Acid vaginal suppository capsules (amazon) and insert it twice per week
Thank you for the post and thanks to everyone who commented. I came to this page searching to see if perhaps jade eggs cause yeast infections. I’m new to the yoni egg and have come down with what seems to be a serious yeast infection. I don’t see how the egg would cause that but just felt like searching…
Perhaps it has to do with my relationship? I tried putting one hand on my heart and one between my legs and asking if there’s anything she would like to tell me but I did not hear an answer. Maybe I did not wait long enough. Maybe it’s just dietary because I’ve been struggling with sugar.
Yes. Candida is a very common issue for people these days. Do you have my book? There’s some great resources in it to heal Yeast infections.
I tried this “my yoni never lies” exercise. The answers I received were amazing, and honestly so helpful. I’m going to jot it down and implement this in my life. Thank-you for the article
Awesome! My pleasure. Thank you for sharing your experience, it means a lot to me.
I was just about to write on a sticky note:
‘My Yoni never lies’ & the thought popped into my mind: why not write the positive of that:
‘My Yoni is my Deep Truth-Teller’.
What do you think? It feels better to me personally, but everyone may have their own preferences.
Thanks for all the education you’re sharing with us!
Yes… true that! AND… most people will see and hear the ‘negative’ more clearly 🙂 Enjoy her truth-telling!
I feel compelled to try this, yet I feel fear at what she might tell me. My husband and I have been working through some issues in our relationship that have been long standing and are emerging into the light through hardship. I don’t what to give up yet, having two young children and ten years behind us, and yet I fear that progress may be limited and too heavily dependent on sacrifice. And yet it is difficult, sometimes, to tell the difference between the fear that things will never change and the truth. How much of my desires being unmet is my fear of rejection (and therefor unwillingness to ask) and how much is true rejection? In my heart I know most of it is truly just fear, and not truth. But there is a substantial amount that IS truth. My body has been shut down for so long, since being raped, then the extensive damage from my first birth. I have to practically force her to have an orgasm. It’s terribly sad.
Anna, these choices are big choices. It is good to consider them thoroughly. AND… you can still practice, daily, tuning in and listening to what your body needs/desires/is communicating to you about. The worse kind of rejection is when we reject ourselves, so a good place to start is there. Then the rest becomes a little more manageable.
Hi Saida, lovely article. Yes, I absolutely can relate to yeast infections with sexual partners, with whom I was in unhealthy relationships with. One such last relationship was one where I didn’t want to have sex anymore, yet we were living together and buying a house together, and so I felt obligated to do so. At the same time, I was going through menopause, which was short and easy for me. (hot flashes only 2x in 6 mos.) I contribute this to living a very healthy lifestyle otherwise, eating vegetarian diet, no caffeine or alcohol, exercise, massage, yoga. My sexual fluids began to no longer exist, my yoni would tighten up so much that he could barely enter me (no surprise), and it hurt. When I finished menopause, and we have since broke up, I still have no libido. Being in the Pleasure Tribe since last year (where I learned of you!), I’ve been trying to awaken my yoni. It’s actually a chore and boring. I am very painful burning in all the tissues, including the labia. I do have a mild form of fibromyalgia, and this burning comes with it. I have no desire, and even though I’m going through a mid-life crisis as far as my profession and down to bare bones on finances, I am feeling radiant, content, and joyful. My yoni tells me she has had PLENTY of sex over the years. It’s like how I used to go out dancing in night clubs and drink alcohol up into my 40’s. I’ve done it, and I’ve outgrown it. I’m not interested in the sex. Do you think this is a “bad” thing? And even so, I don’t care if it is a “bad” thing. Sex doesn’t define me and doesn’t keep me from feeling pleasure. I use sensual dance and sensual touch and my other senses to bring me great pleasure in life. So much so, that men have really been noticing me, attracted to me, and some of them asking me out. I haven’t purchased your jade egg, because it probably will be too painful to get it in. Your thoughts and expertise on this would be so much appreciated. I’m 54, and yes, would like to be in a relationship again some day, this time with a wonderful man, a king.
Hi Kim, what a deep share – LOVE!
Whether or not you participate in the act of sex is entirely up to you and it sounds like you haven’t shut down your erotic current. You can heal your yoni, and you are right, it does take the intent to move deeply into relationship with her. I would begin doing the exercises I recommend, without the Jade Egg, but using your finger as a way to gently awaken and enliven the cells and tissue of your yoni.
Thank you for your reply, Saida! I visit my yoni maybe once or twice a month, which is not enough attention to awaken and enliven the cells and tissue. I’m just not interested, it’s boring…perhaps my yoni is not ready.
Ahhhh Kim, this is what I like to call a ‘sleeping beauty’… but prince charming isn’t the one to wake her, so to speak.
Your YONI is YOU… the CORE of you. How you relate with this part of yourself reflects your relationship with your core, your essential nature. If she is indeed awaiting gentle awakening, then yes, listening to the right timing for such thing is beautiful.
Hi Kim I know exactly how you feel.having spent countless visits yo dr for ?…yeast infections always a NO reply. It was vaginal dryness from hormone changes due to menopause. I have been seeing a pelvic floor therapist for a prolaps she introduced me to coconut oli …cold compressed to use twice a day in and around your yoni .posted it is lost I don’t want to repeat incase it’s there but coconut oil is a girls best friend Also great lube before intimacy. .totally natural. Hope this helps as Saida said he exercises are also a great help especially learning to Love ourselves.. Hope this helps . I am 62 fortunate to have a very understanding partner of 45 years. All the best
I am the first to think medaphysically and holistically. Ergo, I also recognize how negative “judgements” can contribute to our bodily imbalance. On the physical spectrum, our bodies are also chemical factories. So it is important to remember that menopause, removal of certain organs and life stress can weigh heavily on the glands/chakras that produces natural chemistry. Ergo, yeast development may be a sign of anger and/ or it could simply be a reaction to biochemical changes in our bodies. One well known contributor is antibiotics. Another might actually be a derivative of an active sexual life.
Thank you for contributing Susan! Women who do not have sex and are healthy can still get imbalances, so the invitation is always to be curious.
Your email was perfectly timed.
On Tuesday I had a Lletz procedure for CIN3 cells in my cervix. Of course I thought I was fine, not much pain, normal energy.
Now, Saturday morning, 4 days post procedure. I am an emotional wreck.
I didn’t rest my body. I didn’t slow down. I didn’t honour my literal, internal wound at the very heart and soul of who I am. I pushed through and told myself it wasn’t a big deal. But it is.
Now I feel raw, exposed, vulnerable.
Annoyed at myself for not respecting my body and what it has been through.
I am resting now. It is difficult to gIve myself permission to slow down and rest.
So now I am going to listen to my yoni and rest. Be still and let the healing take place. Thanks for sharing Saida. Fiona x
Ah Fiona, breathing deeply and slowly with you. Resting can be such a delicious learning of surrender.
Thanks for this Saida. I will practice this and look forward to seeing what happens.
Many of my friends used to laugh at me when I told them that I “exercise” my vaginal muscles three times a day, separate from my sex life. My male sex partners appreciate it though. They tell me it feels like I have a hand inside me, caressing their member, when we are having sex.
And she purrrrrs . . . .
They don’t snicker any more. In fact they also now do bunni exercises three times a day and report that their sex life has never been better. Their husband’s and lovers admit it too.
I visualize making love when I exercise her. And she purrs even more.
Deni, that’s so awesome! I love that you inspired others in your life to come more alive too!
I agree!! The last year I have had yeast infection after yeast infection and I KNOW it’s brought on by a VERY VERY difficult situation with my daughter. I gave birth to her and yet feel so much conflict over my relationship with her. She has given birth to her baby girl and yet I’m raising her, my daughter is an addict and I don’t know how to stop this vicious cycle!! It interferes with my BEAUTIFUL love life with my boyfriend because I’m SO freaking sensitive down there. Suggestions?
Anger is a strong emotion. Normally associated with feeling powerless. Start to notice where you give your power away, and at the same time, dream up what you would LOVE. Then intentionally play with shifting your power from the ‘story’ or situation into what you would love. Really claim what you choose: “I choose to care for my beautiful granddaughter, etc”
Dear Saida, thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. I have learned a lot from you about myself, my body which is just starts to awaken. Yesterday, as I was writing to my lover – sharing with him how his tender love, touch and being fully present in our love making worships the feminine inside me, which awakes my deep desire to open up to him, to embrace him, to become one with him – I felt waves of pleasure coming over me and my yoni started to pulsate. I felt she agrees, though nothing else really supports this relationship.
I am still aching from pelvic repair surgery . The head in me is frustrated at the long recovery 10 weeks now , the yoni feels nurturing. Big difference between the 2.
I understand. Is there a way to align your ‘head’ with your yoni? Perhaps giving yourself permission to take all the time you need to heal?
Ahhhhh such a great read. I have always wondered if there was more to feeling in my vagina than what I have felt. ” That mysterious part of me” is now making herself known. I am excited to receive my Jade Egg and to make this a celebration of the part of me I never knew. Saida I am so happy I stumbled upon you in the book ‘ Women’s Bodirs, Women’s Wisdom’ …. It is now my time to.understand what being a sexual feminine being and what feminine sexuality is really all about. Thank you for all your wisdom, and willingness to share with the so called wiser ones of this age. ;D
Fantastic Shirley! I love Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom… and I love that you are play with your own Mystery.
I totally agree. I have been living my life this way off and on for the last couple years. It does feel very strange or woo-woo to admit but I actually think it is a very powerful way to make decisions to be in touch with this part of the body . . . feel into it and ask. I don’t always find the answer clear but sometimes piercingly so. I’m writing about how influential my “pussy” has been in my life decisions in a memoir now. I appreciated seeing your post . . .
Rock on, love your work,
Yes Sasha! Fantastic! Is it a book you will publish?
Never a more true word spoken Saida. A lovely simple practice that can feed our soul and bring us home to ourselves and who we are behind the masks we wear.
As always, love your work sister!
Thank you Sharon! I always love hearing from you.
After my reiki I attunement, my yoni started contracting randomly throughout the day. Over time, I realized this was happening when energy was running through my body. I started basing so many decisions on this energy – what to eat, where to go, what body part to massage. It’s been great having a personal guide to always let me know the path of higher energy. What yoni wants, yoni gets.
That’s beautiful Kris! Interesting that it happened after your Reiki attunement 🙂
Ah, just received my jade egg yesterday and wondered why my ‘ladies bits’ in the last twenty-four hours have become tender and slightly sore – they are anxious! Makes sense. I was thinking why is this happening as soon as I intend to place focus upon them. . .
Great observation Jillian! Maybe reassure them that you’ll be listening closely and respectfully introducing a new way of being with yourself.
Love, Love, Love this wisdom of listening to our yoni’s wisdom! As Director of Orgasmic Birth http://www.orgasmicbirth.com I wish all women would consider this in childbirth too…. to help guide them to choose, where, with whom and how they give birth as we need our yoni’s to feel safe, be wet and open to birth as in life and our inner wisdom will guide us if we listen.
Hi Debra! So great to see you here and offering your wisdom! Yay! And yes, yes, yes to Orgasmic Birth!
Ahhhhh…so that’s why I call a yeast infection a case of “angry vagina”. I have long since been aware that it is not unusual for a yeast infection go hand in hand with difficulties or conflict in my sex life or relationships. And the more self love and self care I practice in my life, the fewer I get! Thank you. I love this article.
Beautiful insight Melaney! What’s great is that we may still get imbalances, but they clear much quicker (sometimes within the hour) when we take ownership and responsibility for what is emerging.