Forever Young – Ancient Taoist Secrets to Eternal Youth

Many moons ago, when I first caught sight of Taoist sexual practice books, there was one very compelling argument that intrigued me more than the idea of having unlimited orgasms:

Eternal Youth.

I remember the feeling in my body as I read the words that said I had the power to stop my body from aging as soon as I would master a particular ancient practice.

I was electrified at the idea of being special and
unique in my capacities to naturally stop the aging process.

Proof that it worked meant that my menses would end, in other words, I’d achieve early menopause at the young age of 23!

I remember the excitement coursing through my body at the idea of ending my menses early and maintaining my youthful vitality and beauty. I did not once question this fantastical idea and wholeheartedly jumped into a dedicated practice.

And dedicated it was. I did a minimum of 3 hours per day of practice every day without ever missing one (even if I had a hot date, was seeing family, or traveling!). This went on for 3 full years.

After that, my practice ranged from 1hour-4hours/day for another 9 years.

I finally came to my senses after 12 years of dedicated practice, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

After just a few years, I actually managed to completely stop my cycle. All that came out on the day I was suppose to bleed as a small, marble like, soft ball of white mucus. I was able to maintain this for several months. until I came into contact with a fertile woman, and then my cycle started again.

Initially, I was very excited at my accomplishment and highly disappointed when it didn’t last. Upon further practice and investigation, I’ve come to realize that this feat is not attainable if one is both hormonally healthy and a socially connected female (being exposed to the pheromones of fertile women triggers the fertility cycle in your own body which is why practicing Taoist nuns avoid going into the villages, etc).

I realized that I was only able to attain such feats when I withdrew from the world and basically lived as a nun – in deep practice and avoiding contact with people.

After almost 2 decades of practice, here’s what I now realize:

These promises, although lofty, speak (and sell) easily to the parts of us that would love to remain young forever.

They are so alluring that we rarely stop to question the actual process that we are willing to succumb our body to.

Since beginning my longevity journey, I’ve learned to love being a woman, being cyclical by nature and having a feminine brain that naturally gifts me different ways to perceive my reality.

I’ve discovered that eternal youthfulness is the gift of having an unburdened, open heart along with a healthy, playful relationship with one’s own animal body.

Don’t get me wrong, the practices, often known as the ‘Deer Exercises” are useful. They create relationship with one’s body, support healthy blood and lymph flow, and if done correctly, stimulate hormones that support vitality and youthfulness.

But they don’t keep you forever at the age of 23.

In fact, if these practices are done incorrectly or out of context, they can sometimes create imbalances in our sensitive body. Never mind the negative impact of enhancing and anchoring immature narcissistic fantasies.

We’d be better off to see the practices for what they really do offer and to embrace our beautiful human foibles with love and a sprinkle of humor.

In seeking to understand longevity, I also looked into centenarians and discovered that there exists a full spectrum of ideals—from those who eat pure food, drink pure water, breathe pure air, do gentle movements and live a benevolent, happy life to those who eat crap, drink crap, and smoke like a chimney and who are miserable and cranky.

They all live to be over a hundred.

After almost 2 decades of practice I’ve learned that it isn’t the technique that matters, but the shift in our consciousness that makes all the difference.

Personally, I sense that living in harmony with our own nature and with that of the greater Nature around us is the key to the fountain of youth. By drinking daily of the elixir of pleasure and happiness without condition or reason we rejuvenate not only our body, but our essence.

Through delighting in our moments, as they are, we are actually more alive, free to shamelessly live out our true nature.

No amount of “special” practice can give us that.

If falling in love with your own inner wisdom and harnessing your natural aliveness is inspiring, you may want to start with my book: Emergence of the Sensual Woman.

As always, I would love to hear directly from you. What did you find challenging about this article? Was there anything that inspired you? What are your choices based on? Let me know in the comment section below.


46 replies
  1. Jayasmita
    Jayasmita says:

    Hi Saida,
    Loved this post. However I am confused about the deer practice. Many people claim that it increases fertility yet I have read in many places, like in the one you’ve written that it can reduce and stop the menstrual cycle, doesn’t that mean it decreases fertility? This practice would make it difficult for women to get pregnant in that case.
    I have been doing just breast massage, and not deer practice. Can it meddle with my fertility as well? I am kind of worried.

    • Saida Desilets
      Saida Desilets says:

      Hi Jayasmita! Great to hear from you. Unless you are doing a very dedicated practice, done properly and away from any fertile woman, then there’s not much chance you’d stop your menses with these practices. Please remember these were originally designed for Taoist Nuns who did not socialize or want to have a family. Now, this information is thrown around and used casually, with very little dedication and consistency. The main impact on fertility is your state of being. Being stressed/fight or flight/ response, and unhealthy lifestyle has tremendous impact on infertility. Working with your emotional wellbeing as well as modulating your nervous system will improve fertility. I hope that helps. Are you in JEM? I can give you more support in that membership.

  2. April
    April says:

    Hi Saida
    I enjoyed reading your article, I have an excellent book on Taoism called ‘the complete book of healing’. I was doing the deer excercise for a couple of months and found it really reduced my menstrual flow. The book says it’s unlikely to become pregnant while practicing the deer exercise. Do you know much about this?

  3. Diana M Joice
    Diana M Joice says:

    Hello Saida!

    Thank you so much for the great article.

    As a testimony of my late reply, I’m a late bloomer. I came to learn the sexual teachings for exactly this narcissistic ‘forever young and beautiful’ reason. What I learned is that the spiritual path is far more rewarding. The awakening to my own soul, to recognise what’s good for me and what’s not – that was the biggest takeaway from all of the hard work. To finally KNOW myself.

    And just for that it was all worth it. We often try to convince our minds that we are great or joyous or ecstatic. But only the body, only the blood connection can tell us the truth.

    So, if were to do it all over again, I would.
    All over again. 🙂

    With love,


  4. Paige
    Paige says:

    I love you Saida! I’ve been following you for a while and you’re the reason I joined the Pleasure Tribe last year! You are such a light in this world. Thank you so much! Everything you’ve offered is amazing and your continued efforts and support are very appreciated.

    • Saida Desilets
      Saida Desilets says:

      Hi Paige!

      Awesome to hear from you. As you might have guessed, I no longer have anything to do with the Pleasure Tribe or KSM.

      Happy to have you here. Hope you are enjoying all the resources! Love to see you in the FB group.

  5. machette
    machette says:

    Actually I practice this female deer exercise, and I stop menstruation after 4 months. I think because you did it excessively that’s why your body became imbalance. For me it sounds really stupid that you spent 4 hours a day to practice this exercise.

    • Saida Desilets
      Saida Desilets says:

      I did not just do this one exercise for 4 hours day. 🙂

      I practiced 1.5hours in the AM and the same in the PM for a total of 3 hours. There are many other practices to do to open the body, etc.

    • Bo
      Bo says:

      Hi machette, I just started with the Deer exercise… well, I’ve tried it before but I was never persistent enough. I am afraid I might not do it correctly which is why I am writing you here. I have a nice book that describes the exercise in detail but I am not sure if it should be practiced during menstruation. I find contradictory information on the matter and I hope you can tell me whether you practiced during your cycle or not. Thank you in advance.

  6. lea
    lea says:

    Saida thank you for your love for us
    how did you get your name saida I want one that opens up for me the orgasmic woman inside that lives free strong sensuous unafraid in-flow and in harmony with my family and what is now
    lea (not my real name just trying it out)

  7. Phoenix
    Phoenix says:

    So I wasn’t the only one wanting my bleeding to stop… Even if my reasons were different, I’ve always looked younger, it does make sense. Living harmoniously in the flow of what is sounds more appealing to me now than ever. Thank you for your inspiration to BE rather than to DO.

  8. Loli
    Loli says:

    Thank you a lot for sharing your inspiring experience and wisdom. It shocked me to read that stopping the cicle was seen as “fountain of youth”, because since I was diagnosed with early menopause at 30 years old, I was told that early menopause= early aging = nothing to do about it (it is the natural Law)= feeling so miserable and powerless. Reading your book and emails helped me a lot to change these feelings and believes, although I am still expecting my period to come back as a sign of hormonal health and balance!
    Thank you and happy 2015!

    • Saida
      Saida says:

      Ahh Loli! Yes, there is such a thing as ‘stress induced’ menopause and for those women, this practice has brought back their cycle.

  9. Daisy
    Daisy says:

    I totally agree with you, Saida. Two much restrictions to get what we want just make life less fun to live. I like what you said here “By drinking daily of the elixir of pleasure and happiness without condition or reason we rejuvenate not only our body, but our essence.” That’s exactly how I feel about aliveness. Thanks for the beautiful writing!

  10. Natascha
    Natascha says:

    I love what you say about ‘drinking daily from the elixer of pleasure and happiness without condition’…. It is so beautifully worded. I feel the same about pleasure, the kind that leaves us feeling vital. For me it is the way of grounding my soul and it’s purpose here. Love You, Thank You for Sharing!

  11. Sheridan Kennedy
    Sheridan Kennedy says:

    Thanks for being so honest Saida – I have to say that the ‘eternal youth’ promise sucked me into the idea of the Deer Exercises too… and if I’d discovered them at 23 instead of my early 40s the ‘early menopause’ promise may have been equally appealing! However I much prefer your practices from your book, and your approach to vitality and youthfulness echoes an article I just read by Christiane Northrup where she points out that finding the prefect ‘interval training’ method will not give you eternal youth either! Discovering a gentle and nurturing relationship with myself, falling in love with life and my body, these are the way I’m cultivating eternal vitality and joy… thanks for all the wisdom and inspiration…

  12. Rita
    Rita says:

    It has taken many years to arrive to where my body is the source of so much pleasure and exploration. But I’m there and I hope it’s very much part of what you teach. Thank you for what you do.

  13. Terri
    Terri says:


    This story only raises more questions. Taoist sexual practice books where can you find them ? It is like a new language i don’t understand what is being said. i want to learn so much….What are deer Exercises ? Oh i am reading your book and i adore it. Your insight and wisdom is profound ! Much love Terri ~` xO

    • Saida
      Saida says:

      They are easy to find, hard to understand. All book stores carry these books. Don’t worry about the Deer exercises for now, you have enough with what you are reading now. It would just confuse you at this time.

    • Saida
      Saida says:

      I do Lisa.

      I’m planning to announce what is available very soon, so if you are on my mailing list, you will be the first to know!

  14. Bryana Garcia
    Bryana Garcia says:

    At first my vanity and desire was triggered and than when I READ THE AMOUNT OF PRATICE AND SOLITUDE involved I was like,well forget ,I don’t possess that kind of discipline and also the shopping of the menus was actually disturbing as an Ideal to me.I am 60 years young/old and I stopped bleeding 12 years ago. Most people guess me to be in my early forties and I am grateful.I live a healthy life style for the most part but I do wish my sexual senses were more awakened.I amnot super disciplined but surely would participate in a visceral class with my partner again.I say agin as we took a sexual alchemy weekend with you and sol once in Santa Cruz where we lived.It was the first class that you guys taught together.It was electric.At the time My partner than was still in a lot of fear around committing to our relationship.We are now married and would love to study with you and sol again if ever you come our way.I/We prefer in person to the computer.Ok,thanks for your succulent presence.Truly,Bryana

    • Saida
      Saida says:

      Wow Bryana! How wonderful to hear from you and to hear about your delicious love relationship! YAY!

      You are obviously living in a way that makes you naturally youthful and full of life.

  15. Benita
    Benita says:

    Love this reflection on your practice. It’s so great for women to hear this. So many of the Eastern spiritual practices that modern westerners are delving into are not sustainable for’modern’ westerners (especially women)and were developed by men with in a very different time and space with very different goals. The power of the feminine energy in balance is so contingent on honoring our individual internal and the universal external cycles of Nature and embracing all part of ourselves especially our infinite capacity for joy! Thank you for sharing your luminous gifts in the world!

    • Saida
      Saida says:

      My pleasure Benita.

      The practices do help. I just got my hormones tested and found out that my ovaries are like those of a 20 year old! So ovarian breathing must be helping a little! Where I need to focus, as most of us do, is on my own foundational energy.

  16. Penny
    Penny says:

    Great share Saida. I so enjoy the wisdom that comes from practicing with the Jade egg. I can feel the channels open and the energy moving, healing. After reading your book and Mantak Chia on Cultivating Female Sexual energy, I wanted to practice to the point of having my periods cease. I went through the mental process, wondering why my periods are still “strong” at 51 yrs. Tiring of the inconvenience, but I have always been high energy and have had people remark on my appearance as youthful, so I decided to go with how I “felt” believing that my body was wise enough to know what it needed to create balance and harmony in this area without too much interference. Thank you so much for sharing what you learned in your book, it is a treasure.

    • Saida
      Saida says:

      Penny, what a joy to read your words. I’m happy to know you are living according to the source of incredible wisdom: your body!

  17. Laurie
    Laurie says:

    I love the wisdom that you share from your practice. I myself never understood why my own mother did not want to have her period (I think that jaded me early on when my own cycle started). Yes, it is a monthly inconvenience sometimes, but like you said, being cyclical by nature and having a feminine brain and being in harmony with our own nature does provide that youthfulness. Learning some of these things along the way myself, I have come to appreciate my cycle and enjoy when it comes along. It reminds me of my womanhood! Now with your wisdom of drinking in pleasure and happiness daily — how can I not feel always youthful. Thank you Saida!!

    • Saida
      Saida says:

      Yes Laurie, that is key… our greatest task to living youthfully is to remember to laugh, to play, and to do things without having a goal attached to you, but rather for the sheer pleasure of it.

  18. Pamela
    Pamela says:

    I am ever so glad to read the result of your devout practice. You have become a wise woman early from it and I love the conclusions you have come to.
    I too am involved in Radiant and Timeless branding and study. Good Shen can be gotten from Cosmetic Acupt, but as we know it is most well based in inspired living.
    Sending love to you,

  19. Melanie D'Arcy
    Melanie D'Arcy says:

    I’m so grateful you wrote this. I’m so grateful you went ahead & did it for us & we can learn from you. Thank you for sharing! 🙂 I also was soo curious about these practices, but – quite a bit lazier & less focused than you…. Have found it difficult to really integrate them consistently in my modern life… along with everything else holistic that I’m doing & studying. This article helps me feel like – the pressure’s off! Now I can just explore the practices in your book in a more relaxed enjoyable fashion, & explore the benefit they do bring me – for I trust there is still a great benefit there. Invaluable post – a gift! 🙂 Thanks again, much love.

    • Saida
      Saida says:

      Oh yes Melanie, the practices still have their gifts to offer us. I still see the amazing affects of ovarian breathing, breast massage, and of course, the Jade Egg is my best friend!

  20. Katharina
    Katharina says:

    How beautiful! Thank you, dear Saida for sharing your journey so open and honestly. Also in the indian tantric tradition there are methods to stop the cycle but in my own case it triggered lots of imbalances in my system. I anyhow wonder whether all these strong energetic practices like intense Kundalini Yoga are suitable for our feminine structure. I wonder what’s your view on that in regard of your experience with taoist practices.
    Lots of love, Katharina

    • Saida
      Saida says:

      Hi Katharina,

      We in the west forget that those who studied and devoted their life to these practices did just that… devoted their lives to them. And it takes a living teacher to guide you through the more profound practices, so learning as we do in the west is at best a gentle way to reconnect with ourselves while assisting our body to do what she knows be: be vibrantly alive.

  21. Trish
    Trish says:

    What a fantastic piece, Saida! Thank you for sharing this wisdom. I particularly resonate with: “it isn’t the technique that matters, but the shift in our consciousness that makes all the difference”. Beautifully stated.
    ~Namaste~…….and a blessed 2015 to you and yours!


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