To K-Goal or not to K-Goal…
Are Vaginal Apps & The “Skea” Video Game The Future?
As a lover of all things that bring women more pleasure, self-love, and a renewed passion for life, I’m always curious about new fads and tools for sexual empowerment.
There are two new emerging trends have grabbed my attention: the kGoal & the Skea video game.
The kGoal is a small device that a woman inserts in her vagina in order to train her PC muscle (aka the sex muscle). It is linked to her iPhone through an APP that let’s her know how well she is doing while also tracking her progress as the weeks and months go by.
The Skea video game is similar to the kGoal, only it interfaces with a video game called “Alice in Continent” (pardon me?!).
Now upon first look, these ideas are rather exciting! More funky APPs to make our lives more efficient while encouraging us to get much needed exercise for our pelvic floor.
But this is where the magic ends for me.
First of all, this reeks of a purely functional approach to our sexuality, leaving out the essential deeper meaning or purpose of having an erotic nature.
Whenever we do this, we instantly transform our vibrant sensual/sexual self into a commodity or currency.
This degrades our erotic intelligence and moves us further and further away from cultivating our erotic genius—literally alienating ourselves from ourselves.
Secondly, these devices covertly create yet another standard that a woman has to live up to. We are already bombarded with having the “right size & shape” of breasts, waists, hips, thighs, and yes, even labia!
Add to the mix the fact that we have to constantly contend with how much sex is the ‘sexy’ amount to have while juggling all the various styles and combinations of sex a ‘sexually liberated’ woman “should be” versed in.
Never mind that we simultaneously must maintain the success of our careers, families, and friendships.
This leaves us with a massive ‘to do’ list inclusive of “sexy dates” to insure we actually get to do whatever latest and greatest exercise we must do in order to stay with the latest pleasure trends.
Exhausting… and not very sexy.
My biggest pet peeve, however, is with the overtly intellectual and functional approach to female sexuality.
Singular focus on excessively toning one group of muscles (like the PC muscle) can result in the too much pelvic tension which can lead to forming scar tissue or pinching vital ‘pleasure nerves’.
As much as I’d love to celebrate kGoal & the Skea video game as a way to inspire women to take more care of their sensual selves, I fear that it is yet another burden and incomplete program that will leave women frustrated and possibly even anorgasmic!
The inventors of these modern ‘feminine’ devices obviously have great intention, but unfortunately reveal their limited understanding of the complex and profound nature of female sexuality.
As women, the journey to claiming our full sensual/sexual self is precarious and loaded with dogma, memes, and commercialized propaganda.
And although it is essential that we care for our beautiful bodies and sexual organs, doing so at the cost of losing our own intimate connection with ourselves is too high a price to pay.
It’s my desire that we step out of this insipid and limited viewpoint on female sexuality and enter a more profound and inspired relationship with ourselves.
Through regarding our body as an erotically intelligent creature who loves to exercise as well as to deeply melt open and surrender to the beauty of life, we recognize that our sexual self isn’t just another currency to trade with, but a profoundly alive ‘sexual being’.
If reconnecting with your own erotic intelligence is inspiring, I recommend starting with reading by book, The Emergence Of The Sensual Woman.
I value your insights on the evolution of our sensual/sexual selves, so please do leave me your thoughts in the comment section so we can deepen this conversation.
Yet another yang approach to our yin, another sign that we are going more and more towards excess yang in stead of growing closer to our inner self, so direly needed to bring appeasement to this world. How much more pain will it take before a critical mass wakes up and stands up to this?
Other than that, I can only endorse every single word you’ve written on this subject and thank you for bringing this to our attention.
Love,
Martine
Dearest Saida,
Thank you so much for your article.
As I was reading it, I was reminded how as I was growing up and and as a young woman, I spent a lot of time reading ‘women’s magazines’, all of which spent most of their pages informing me of what it was that I needed to be- generally sexually submissive while being technically skilled with a very tight vagina. At least those are the lessons that stuck with me.
I see devices like these as a natural continuation on of those lessons. There was absolutely not a mention in any magazine or moment in advertising that we have our own genius and bodies that are waiting for us to listen to find out what is truly right for us, there was also no equality, no idea that a woman could actually want to have sex enough to approach a sexual relationship as an equal partner.
I see these types of tools as continuing that path of educating women that they are not enough as they are. While some women may be drawn to them for incontinence or pelvic floor, I suspect that the majority of users will be doing so out of a deep belief, conscious or not, that they are not enough as they are, and that their vagina is yet another thing that needs to be ‘fixed’ in order to be acceptable for their partners and for society as a whole…
Love, Naomi xx
As always Naomi, brilliantly said!
My eyes filled with tears as I read your words… after sharing with tens of thousands of women about their erotic genius, I have come to see that your words ring true for a high % of women.
OMG, Saida. You have completely hit the nail on the head with this article!! This is EVERYTHING that is wrong in the world. This is just another way to take us away from our true nature. Thank you so much for commenting on this specific topic and sharing your wisdom with the world. We can’t fake this process with technological help. Its soul work baby! So entirely grateful to have crossed your virtual path and for all the nuggets of wisdom you have given in these few years. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I love your enthusiasm Melanie!
Hi Saida,
I could’nt agree more. So simple is that. Those devices are mechanistic and leaves out the deep sensitivity in the bodies as the posibility for openness between partners as it focuses on creating results instead of focusing on the beaty of two people connecting into deep energetic journey during “the act”. We need to reclaim the celestial cave 🙂 as the big powerfull feminine gift to mankind and that it is way to big for for such devices. I am so thrilled of your crusade on this and you have my complete back up on this from Copenhagen 🙂
All the best
Tine Huge
Thank you Tine!
The most amazing support you and any woman can share here is by LIVING the truth of being a fully expressed, embodied, and integrated sensual/sexual being. Here’s to celebrating the full emergence of our Erotic Genius.
Right On Saida! This is another example of how we have endlessly co-opted and hijacked our organic innocence and intuitive sensuality and outsourced them to technology. (which puts one in danger of losing dominion over her sexual and sensual self — just like happened with the medicalization and commercialization of childbirth. Thank you for writing this.
My pleasure Karen. 🙂
Well said saida. I honestly couldn’t say it better
We allready have so much to do that many of
Us are allready over toned and can’t let go
I’ll stick with the jade egg! Thank you very much
Yes, let’s let our default be our own erotic intelligence.
I agree, these new devices are all just ‘things’ that get us involved in the busy life and not in touch with ourselves and our deeper needs for true happiness. Whats wrong with putting in the work for the real thing! And it is so much more rewarding, especially when you work our what brings you the most fullfillment 😉
Yes, this product is going viral on the net… But don’t worry for me Sweet and Succulent Saida, reading your book and learning about my erotic intelligence preserved me from that kindda stupid track. Thank you 🙂
Awesome Little Jo!
Mmmm. “Melt open and surrender to the beauty of life” sounds so much more appealing than KGOALS. Having a goal with sexuality seems like such a masculine way of approaching our feminine bodies. I think their hearts were in the right places but it is misguided. I want my sexuality to be lush and fun and succulent not goal oriented. Thank you Saida for bringing this to our consciousness.
My pleasure Jodi… I want your sexuality to be lush too!
I totally agree Saida. I think its a pretty masculine approach to a feminine reality. Seems we as a culture have no idea how to relate to our sensuality/sexuality without it being a competition (will there be a website where we can post our app results? Gag.)Alice in continent…hello? Instead how to we embrace and embody our own radiant aliveness which includes our sensuality and pleasure(sexual and otherwise)? That is the cutting edge, glad you are traveling there, guiding the light and showing the way
Thank you Claire! Well said.
You have written a thoughtful, insightful piece here, Saida. At first glance, I would have applauded these apps. Thank you for making me stop and really THINK about the implications much more deeply and with discernment.
~Namaste~
Yay Trish! Yes! We must be able to stop, breathe, and look at who is really benefiting from making our sexuality a commodity.
Saida, well said and eloquently put; I wholeheartedly agree! I see this a lot in the Fitness Industry and it is very frustrating – there is no quick fix for anything in life, it is about making a ‘lifestyle’ change for a lifetime over an extended period of time. The amount of ‘gimmicky’ equipment for fitness is sickening.
An understanding of how the body works and how different we all are, inside and out, is what has been lost in our crazy-mad and fast-paced society.
With Fitness, I see people getting frustrated all of the time and then giving up because they have not fully researched what they are signing up for to know if it is right for them, in more ways than one! Even then, if they don’t look at other habits such as Nutrition, they are setting themselves up to fail …. I work as a consultant with these people, having come from a Sport Science background and lifetime of sport, fitness, exercise, dance, nutrition etc, so I strip away the fiction and bring them back to scientific fact with a level of laymen understanding they can relate to.
Sadly, there is so much ‘disinformation’ in the public domain that it remains a steep hill to climb in ‘re-educating’ people.
All we can do is to keep on ‘educating’ and practicing what we preach/teach and trust that we will resonate with those that really do seek the truth and are prepared to put the effort in to reap the endless rewards!
Thank you for your brilliance and patience 🙂 x
Rachel, I really appreciate your deep knowledge & wisdom of the schism we suffer between our body-mind & consensual norms. 🙂
Couldn’t agree more Saida. These are very Yang approaches to female sexuality – goal-oriented, competitive, driven – and, however well- intentioned their invention and promulgation may be, appeal, unfortunately, to a woman’s sense of INSECURITY, which always leads her further and further away from her vital connection to her own wondrous, authentic and radically mysterious depths. These are approaches which entirely ‘miss’ (and surely underestimate) the power, profundity and wildness of our female sexual/sensual nature, which freezes up in performance-driven cultures, such as these would create.
Wow! Your words have left me breathless Katherine! Well said!
Agreed on all of the above.
Not to mention the objectification of women – yet again…
And yes, the new/additional socially/culturally/supposedly-trendy & unconsciously imposed “standards”
Now there are 2 additional dangers related to technology:
– one is to expose women’s body even more to potentially harmful radio-frequency & electromagnetic waves – intimately, shall we say
– second, is to expose their intimate life to any ill-intentioned person – for there is no more real privacy on internet BTW
Then again, I agree with the concern about the impact of yet another external pressure on Women’s psyche…
Thank you M for pointing out also the issue with radiation! yikes!!!
I could not agree with you more. I used to do kegals ALL the time because that is what my girlfriend read in a magazine to stay fit and desirable. When I got pregnant, the midwives asked me to do them to tone for pushing the babe out. I tried it the first day and my body sent me a big No, you are too tight. I am so glad I listened, I ended up leaving the kegals behind and having an orgasmic birth. I think with this new technology women who have not been exposed to an inner knowing surrounding sexuality could have some work to undo while filling the cultural desire cup… So happy for you and the work you are doing, Thank You Saida
Wow Natascha! I wish more mothers-to-be could read the wisdom of your experience!
I love how elegantly you have explained it. The more technologies we use, the less our own abilities to tap into our feelings and pleasure become. We come from long lines of sexual and sensual repression and you are a shining star helping us to evolve into the Goddesses that we are.
Thank you Dorianna, for being a part of this Succulence Revolution!
I don’t know how this compares to the physical therapy I had for pelvic floor syndrome. But I had bladder spasms for several years that caused me to have to get up several times in the night to pee (I was fine during the day). The urinologist had me try several medications and supplements to no avail. Finally she prescribe physical therapy with a sensor in the vagina to give a reading on a screen so I could see if I was doing the exercise correctly. Then I could continue on my own without the sensor, because I knew what the correct way felt like. After several weeks, the spasms began to subside, and continually got better over the course of a year. Rarely now I wake up with the spasm and I just do the exercise, turn over and go back to sleep. It was a life saver. The physical therapist said that many women who have bladder tack ups could prevent it with the proper pelvic floor physical therapy. One of the side effects of the spasms was painful sex. That went away too. So I see the tool as a possible therapy enhancer to help or prevent a problem that could interfere with sex or sleep, depending on how the application works. It would be a lot cheaper than going to therapy. However, therapy included a variety of exercises and I had to figure out which ones worked for me and which ones didn’t. I know these exercises are not very sensual or erotic but they could provide the foundation for a lot of enjoyment.
Another symptom that I had that also went away with the pelvic floor therapy was when I pee’ed there was a burning sensation down the nerves inside my leg all the way down to my feet, it felt like my feet were on fire. I know it sounds weird, but it was really impacting my life, and the pelvic floor therapy helped all of that. There may have been a more fun way to fix it, but the process described above really fixed all my mysterious symptoms.
Yes, this is due to how our nervous system works… very happy you feel amazing!
This is different June. You worked one on one with a coach who was able to help you isolate and identify the muscles to use and relax. What these devices encourage is a random “over”-use of a ‘muscle’ group that women may or may not really understand properly.
I’m seeing that you had the coaching you needed to actually have success with your pelvic health, which is very different than just creating pelvic tension. 🙂
There are no doubt women out there who need another excuse to pick up their cell phone to help them to do a task. There are also App developers who can see a market of women who will buy a product that promises to make them move sexy, succulent, loved, toned, etc, and give their advertisers access to another person who has a yoni and can contribute personal data to the advertiser’s databank. The challenge for busy women is remembering to do these exercises. Women who cannot prioritise these practices might do more PC squeezes every day but I think that only prioritising them from our own hearts will transform us from within.
Beautifully said. The main issue I have is treating our yoni like she is some ‘disembodied’ entity rather than the core of our Feminine wisdom.
Saida,
I totally agree with your assessment.
Thank you for stating it in a way that values our tenderness and the strength that comes in nourishing this.
I especially like: And although it is essential that we care for our beautiful bodies and sexual organs, doing so at the cost of losing our own intimate connection with ourselves is too high a price to pay.
Thank you so much,
Heather
Thank you sweet Heather!
Great article. These apps almost robotise us or dehuminise our female sexuality. What we need is a hands on approach. This is one place high tech gadgets need to be left out of.12
Yes Solena… less time in the dimension of machines and more time connecting with our innate wildness.
I avoid carrying a cell phone in my pockets due to EMF concerns. I certainly will not be inserting an EMF producing object within my precious Yoni as a substitute to tuning into what she has to say. I guess there will always be somebody who wants to take shortcuts. But will you know what is going on within the heart of your Yoni if the battery dies or the wifi connection stops. Seems a bit disempowering to me and as such reflects the old paradigm. Guess I’ll just have to “opt-out”.
Kim, you made me smile… really BIG! 🙂
Couldn’t agree more with you, my dharma sister. Seems to me just the latest commercial volley in reducing our erotic genius and authentic Shakti power to more of the masculine achievement model (it’s called k GOAL….so not feminine). I imagine it will all sell but unfortunately I believe it panders to a real hunger women are feeling and this will only leave us feeling more empty…..
Thank you Sweet Lisa! For what you do and what you stand for and for sharing your wisdom here!
I find it very disturbing that there is a wave toward technologizing what is perhaps the most private, sacred, mysterious place in our bodies. Our yonis are one of the few places we can go to reconnect with our sensation, our feeling nature and our creativity. The technology does not consider our hearts and our imaginations, nor the subtleties of experience. I hope this one dies fast and hard. I have hope that there is a new wave of women waking up to their beautiful sacred sexuality who will on instinct reject this trend. Thank you Saida for bringing this up!
love,
Sita
You are welcome Sita.
It will come down to each woman’s personal choice.
Excellent blog post. I totally agree! These things depersonalize our relationship to ourselves and cause lasting damage to our self esteem.
Bloody right Saida! since starting my own journey on this topic I have heard again and again about the damaging effects on tools like this which instead of helping you to feel more orgasmic it leaves you with a feeling that you need to always need the same speed or the same method otherwise you cannot get there. As you have well said the female body is a complex thing and an app for training the PC muscle seems for “modern women” who have no time and probably are too lazy to train properly with a jade egg. I dont think this apps are thought for a wide market but are thought as a quick fix.
Hi Belinda! Here’s to each woman waking up to her own deep living wisdom.
I agree, and add my concern also about having the cell phone and app electro magnetic field anywhere near my vagina, or even in my room when I sleep at night.
Thank you for keeping us so well informed, your writing is very easy to understand.
My pleasure Raje!
I totally agree as I am still doing reverse kerala to undo wrongly tightened muscles I feel these games as you say can lead us down the wrong pathways of our pelvic healthy. Better to be taught the correct way in the beginning. It’s a load of work getting it right.thanks once again for you invaluable information Saida . Blessings
My pleasure Dawn… thank you for sharing your experience. It’s so important that women read your words.
this vagina apps sounds worth investigating. If it helps women be aware of that area, great! if it makes women compare their vagina ability to a number, ouch! the only real measure is our satisfaction level, are we satisfied with our general health?
Are we satisfied with our Yoni aliveness, are we satisfied with the quality of pleasure we can generate from it ?
Our body is a sacred temple and deserves our full attention; is an apps going to help? maybe, maybe not…
Thank you Saida for bringing our attention to it!
I agree with you Saida. These devices are taking technology too far. It seem like technology and business are joining forces to move women away from tuning into the natural wonder of their bodies. Very sad.
Thank you for your wisdom! Saida… as usual I agree with everything you are saying. I call this women being “masculine adaptive.” Once again the idea is to reach a goal instead of simply letting our sexuality be celebrated, supported and nurtured into the beautiful flower it is meant to be.
Masculine-Adaptive… wow! Tell me more about this Anna-Thea.
Thank you so much for your wisdom. I greatly agree with what you say. Thank you!!
Saida, Thank you for always going DEEPER. The feminine is about depth, so we need a leader like you who never forgets that. From your opening, it sounds to me like you aren’t against the concept of an amazing app, but find the execution of these two cursory, external and somewhat masculine in their approaches. Let me ask you this, if you where to create a dream sexual/sensual app for women… what would YOU create? Much love, Vicki (the healing chakra tattoo gal 😉
I would create an app to remind us all to get off the phone, go into nature, and to remember who we really are. 😉
It will never last its a fad, albeit an awful one and I agree with everything your saying but I have a strong mind and can influence at least 30 women against it, who in turn will turn more women against. Women talk in tribes and talk matters. much love xxxxx
Well said, Vicky!
I agree! And I am also discouraged by the disconnect inherent in both the goal setting and the distraction of playing a game? Have women become so.. masculinized by our society and technology that we need the mental stimulation of a game that inherently disconnects us from our bodies in order to get us to do something for them?
And forgive me if this sound sexist, but I wonder who actually came up with these ideas: it seems to me that the goal-oriented app isn’t really in keeping with a woman’s pleasure (given your points) and I am not convinced that most women who are dealing with incontinence either should or would be drawn to a game in this context? Just feels odd to me; obviously, this is one of those YMMV things!
Dear Saida
You are such a visionary and warrior was for women’s sexual/ erotic genius. The article is spot on.
My feeling is however similar to when I did neuro feedback/ it was really meditation for people who
Wouldn’t normally be open or sit still long enough or were afraid of the whole concept.
On some level there needs to be trust the innate wisdom of the body to join forces with a woman when she takes even one step towards herself and her vaginal health. The people I worked with began to open themselves to new ways of being and thinking because they were connecting to their inner selves albeit through a seemingly less connected to truth modality. These apps will be used and I suggest that you join forces and add your wisdom to it so that women can come to their knowledge of themselves and use the app. But that will happen- because life- sexuality will find her and teach her in many different ways. More plainly put – you can’t fight city hall and within these apps women can still find their sexual beauty because that is truth and truth will always rise to the too.
Love
Jayne
Thank you Jayne.
I love the idea of bio-feedback too! But instead of a device, I prefer the use of our own finger.
To take things further, I would encourage working with a very experienced pelvic therapist or osteopath as their feedback can be amazing.
On principle, cannot endorse such devices, but I do love your gentle invitation.
Thank you Saida
My pleasure Katrine! I adore you!!!